Be All in…Until It’s All Over

The summer is halfway over, and I am moving on to different seasons in my life. I have been waiting to finish my TEFL certification class. My seasonal retail job is almost over. My English conversation class is having its last meeting this Wednesday. I’m going to be tutoring a woman for a few hours a week. Great things are happening!

Lately I’ve become more demotivated at my job because I know that I am leaving soon. You can only fold clothes so many times before you realize that you’re really not making a huge difference working there. Yesterday, as I was cleaning a clothes rack for the tenth time, I realized that, at the beginning of the summer, I was so joyful and excited. Because of my job, I’ve paid off a chunk of my school loans already, and I’ve still managed to see my friends for the most part. My job was a gift from God to financially support me and to spiritually grow me. In the beginning of the summer, I had prayed before work, skipped into the mall with a huge smile on my face, and helped customers like it was my favorite hobby. As a result, my co-workers would be encouraged, and they would comment on my positive attitude.

As my job became more and more of a chore, I began to lose sight of the fact that my job was a blessing. I would count down the hours until I could finally clock out and do what I wanted to do. However, as a result, I wasn’t as encouraging to my co-workers. I did not want to help customers. I became more irritable about this temporary season, that I knew would not last forever.

Moving from clothes rack to clothes rack, I meditated on the fact that I was not as motivated as I was when my manager first gave me the job. I realized that I had forgotten that God was the one who had truly blessed me with a job. I saw my job more as a trial and distraction than as a task that God had given me to accomplish. During the hot summer days, God had told me to work as hard as I could. I felt him leading me to push myself to help the store reach its full potential. I knew that I could not change the whole store or compromise my boundaries, but I also knew that my positive attitude and hard work was making a difference in at least one person’s life. Each day, a different person would come up to me and thank me for helping with something. Each day, God confirmed that I was at that store to do more than simply make money.

In these last few weeks that I have working there, I want to remember the joy and energy that I felt when they first gave me a badge and locker key. I want to go above and beyond what is comfortable for me and make a difference in someone else’s life. God has not released me from this job yet, so I will continue to do what he asks me to do until I clock out for the last time. I’m going to be all in, until it’s all over.