What Waiting Means to Me

“When are you ever going to…?”

Fill in the blank.

The answer, “I’m working on it” or “I’m waiting” doesn’t work for anyone anymore. What if you are doing everything you possibly can, but you are just waiting for your goals to come to fruition?

It seems like we don’t have permission to wait anymore. We have to know exactly what we’re doing in ten years and we have to prepare for those ten years right now. And if it doesn’t work out by tomorrow, scrap the plan and make a new one. We have to compromise our desires in order to get what the world wants. It doesn’t matter if you are waiting to find a good guy (or girl); just settle and forget about your standards. It doesn’t matter if it takes several weeks to hear back from your dream job; you need money now, so take a job that makes you miserable but pays well. It doesn’t matter if it takes time to cultivate a friendship; just harden your heart and don’t make new friends.

Personally, I am very impatient while waiting. When I have to wait, my insecurities come out. What if my standards are too high? What if I’m not good enough for my dream job? What if no one likes me? What if no one shows up for me when I need someone?

When I was a child, I used to hate waiting for my mom to pick me up from school. Every day, the thought would enter my head that she wasn’t going to pick me up. I was so afraid she would forget about me. As I watched the other kids run into their mothers’ arms, I realized that the chance of my mother coming was getting smaller and smaller. However, each and every time, whether she was early, late, or on time, my mom came to get me.

To this day, whether I’m waiting for something to come in the mail or I’m waiting for my work to show fruit, that feeling still creeps up on me. How do I know what I’m waiting for will even happen? What of my hope ends in disappointment? What if I end up waiting forever?

A few months ago, for an assignment for my class, I had to spend a period of time by myself. At the end of the day, someone was going to get me. It was like being in kindergarten all over again! I waited eight hours with no cell phone, no watch, and no form of entertainment but nature. I knew someone was going to pick me up (they couldn’t just leave me there!) so I trusted that I wasn’t going to be there forever. I waited a few hours sitting on a rock.Those few hours passed by slowly and miserably. But then I realized: It’s really beautiful out here. I started to go for a walk. I examined small rocks and pine cones and truly enjoyed the nature around me. By the time my friend came to pick me up, I almost didnt want to leave. Instead of sitting angrily and impatiently, I had truly enjoyed where I had been placed.

What if waiting meant enjoying what you already have until the next thing comes?

I’m waiting for a certain job that I’ve wanted for several months. While I wait, I’m enjoying where I work now. My co-workers are so nice and encouraging, and the job itself is rewarding and interesting. I’m also researching more about the job I am waiting to get, and doing what I can to build up my chances of getting the job. I could be sitting in my room, reading a book or sleeping, but that’s not productive. Waiting doesn’t have to be sitting idly and quietly. Life is short; while it’s important to rest, there is a lot of work to do! If I didn’t have a job while I waited, I wouldn’t have money, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything!

Don’t be afraid of waiting. If you’re trusting in God, what you are waiting for will happen. Nothing placed in the hands of God is wasted. But at the same time, don’t sit idly. Be productive while you wait. Enjoy what you have. Enjoy this season of your life. Because once you’re done waiting, this season is going to be over.