My husband is the best husband ever! He is faithful to me; I never have to wonder if he still loves me. He makes me feel beautiful, even if I’m bummin’ around the house wearing pajamas. He prays with me, challenges me to grow in my faith, and encourages me to follow my dreams. And, of course, he bought me a beautiful blue engagement ring to symbolize his love for me, because it matches my eyes (which is his favorite part about my appearance!).
The truth is: no other guy compares to my husband…and that’s the way it should be.
You see, my husband is the best husband ever because he’s my husband. God knew that I needed him in my life, and He gave me the ability to love this man for the rest of my life. I couldn’t ask for a better husband because I’m committed to loving this guy for as long as I live. No other man can take his place, because no other man was meant to do so.
I heard something funny on the radio the other day. A listener had called in and was bragging about how he writes poems for his wife. The radio host then joked, “Aw, now my wife is going to expect me to write her poems!”
In a world where it is easy to compare, we either wish we had spouses like someone else, or we envy couples who are actually enjoying their marriage. We might want a husband who talks more, who helps around the house more, who is more organized, or who is more sensitive to your emotions—and we can probably imagine a guy who fits all of those criteria.
When we start to see the flaws in our spouses, we might be tempted to look for someone who does not have those flaws. If you follow this way of thinking, let me lovingly stop you right there. Let me reach through the screen, grab your shoulders, and look straight in your eyes as I tell you: your husband was never meant to be your everything. Your husband’s job is to continually point you back to God, whether he loves you unconditionally and you can see God’s love flowing through him, or he falls short and you can see that God is the only one who’s perfect.
You might not struggle with wanting to change your man for a newer or nicer model, but you might struggle with another type of comparison.
My life over the past few years has felt like an episode of Four Weddings, a show that involves four brides that all attend each other’s weddings and essentially vote on who had the best wedding. My husband and I got married in November, but we have attended countless engagement parties, bridal showers, and weddings since then. Every time I go to an event, I praise God that I was married first, or I would be comparing my plans and ideas to everyone else’s. But by the grace of God, I’m able to enjoy the weddings I attend and not get caught up in all the details.
As you get older and more of your friends get married, it may be tempting to also compare your marriages. Look how often they get to travel! They bought a house already? They’re having another baby, and we haven’t even had one yet! When we compare our marriages to those of others, we feel discontent and we lose the ability to enjoy the marriage that God has given us.
If you find yourself comparing your marriage or wedding to someone else’s, please understand this: God put your spouse in your life because He knew that this person would be the best at being your life partner. And God did the same for your spouse: He knew you would be the right companion for him/her as well. Make a practice of thanking God for your spouse and for joining you two together as husband and wife.
Life is not a competition. Learn to love your spouse but also learn to appreciate the love between the other couples in your life. Let’s cheer others on in their marriages, while also finding contentment in our own!
Photo by William Stitt on Unsplash
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