Category: Encouragement

Categories
anxiety

What have you accomplished today?

A few weeks ago, we discussed abandoning our to-do lists so that we could rely more on God and can have more peace. Some of you have admitted that it’s difficult to give up a to-do list, especially with our busy schedules and all the appointments we have to make. So, for those of you who are performance-based, accomplishment-driven, or just plain disorganized and in need of some structure, here is another way to look at your tasks for the day.

Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life.Church shared in his leadership podcast that the habit he wants to create this year is to celebrate little wins. He has been so focused on the big tasks, that he doesn’t want to forget about the everyday accomplishments and blessings that come his way.

While looking at my to-do list, I realized how condemning it was. The way I have it set up, I’m never going to be satisfied. I may have a list of 50 items, but if I do all but one task, I feel like I’ve failed. And even if I do all the items on my list, throughout the day, I’ll realize there were items I forgot to add to my list.

Why not focus on the items that I did accomplish?

I understand that people may not want to boast in their accomplishments. “Let those who boast, boast in the Lord,” the Scriptures say. But I’ve found that, instead of focusing on our accomplishments, we tend to focus on our shortcomings, which also does not glorify God. Think about it: God has given us the strength and the ability to accomplish all that He wants us to do. If we sit around thinking we’re failures or that our lives are too overwhelming for us, we’re neglecting to use the power, grace and strength He has given us.

Here is what I do now. At the beginning of the week, I write a list of what I’d like to accomplish. Since I have multiple freelance clients, in addition to my part-time job and the ministries I’m involved in at church, it’s easy for me to have an idea of what to expect in the next couple of days. Whether I want to work on my book, follow-up with a client, or spend time with friends, it’s helpful to see what’s on the agenda.

However, every day, at the end of the day, I take out my journal and write what I’ve accomplished. I don’t even look at my to-do list; I simply look back on the day and reflect on what went right. Then, I write at the bottom: “God, thank You for helping me to accomplish these things.”

So, I ask you, what have you accomplished today? If you are a perfectionist, like me, you may feel like you haven’t accomplished anything. You may feel like you’ve done a lot of work but nothing to show for it. Let me encourage you, and challenge you, to consider what little victories you have made today that can propel you to keep going.

This week, try writing down what you’ve accomplished. Put away the to-do list, and focus on what you’ve done right.

To give you an idea, since waking up this morning about two hours ago, here is what I’ve accomplished:

  • Woke up
  • Spent quality time with my husband at breakfast
  • Read the Bible
  • Did an intense workout 
  • Made the bed
  • Took a shower
  • Got dressed
  • Wrote a blog post

I didn’t change the world doing any of these things today. I didn’t make any money. I didn’t even affect anyone’s life, really. But what I accomplished so far matters, and knowing what I’ve already done will motivate me to make it through the rest of the day.

God, thank You for helping me to accomplish these things.

Photo by Emma Matthews on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

In Case of Infestations

Yep. You read that right. Today, we’re going to talk about how to deal with little critters.

Most people who have been married less than two years aren’t living in a house. Whether you’re renting from a friend, you’re saving up cash in your parents’ basement, or you’re in a complex, you’re most likely living in an apartment.

Did you know that apartments are the breeding grounds for rodents, bugs, and pests? I bet no one told you that in marriage counseling! I bet no one told you to put roach repellent and mouse traps on your registry. But these little critters try to infest not only your home, but your marriage as well.

In our two years of marriage, we’ve had our fair share of visitors creeping in and out of our living spaces. As a neat freak, control freak, and perfectionist, I put the blame on myself every time an unwanted guest would come into my apartment. Maybe I didn’t vacuum enough. Maybe I shouldn’t have left that tiny crumb on the floor. Maybe I should have washed the dishes. It seems like every time I finally clean my house, they show up. And seeing those little things in our space makes us feel so unclean, we want to throw out all our stuff and move!

Lately, God has been calling me to be faithful with what He has given us. We may not have a huge space, but we are responsible for keeping it clean and protected. I’ve been more intentional about washing the dishes, decluttering our space, and vacuuming (oh, how I love the vacuum!).

After seeing just one “bug” in our apartment, we are worried when we will see the next one. It has caused us to live in fear, which adds stress to our daily lives and makes us more irritable. We’ve gone into survival mode, “every person for himself,” but that is not the way that God calls us to live.

Let’s be real: If you don’t understand it, you’ll most likely be afraid of it, and you’re living in fear. We’ve seen everything, from ants to cockroaches to mice to spider crickets. Just the look of what shouldn’t be in our apartment is enough to traumatize us. So that’s why I’m warning you now, before you get freaked out: don’t freak out!

My husband and I are not experts, but here are some ways that we have coped with the little pests instead of living in fear.

Don’t blame yourself. Like I said, apartment complexes are breeding grounds for pests. Therefore, when you have one, it is 0% your fault. Get it out of your head that you’re dirty or unworthy of owning your space.

Do your research. Certain pests are more prominent in some areas. We actually saw a review on Google that our apartment complex has cockroaches. Spider crickets like basements and moist environments. Mice like areas near the woods and near water. So, if you live next to a park or a body of water, you should be aware of what you might see. Don’t freak out, just be prepared.

Prepare for the worst; hope for the best. My husband and I do whatever we can to keep the critters away. We clean the house regularly (making sure our stuff is off the floor and food is stowed in shelves). We don’t live in fear, but we prepare as if an infestation can happen at any time. Bugs and rodents can be nasty, and once you have one, there’s always a chance of more coming back to take over the place. The maintenance staff at our apartment complex also has been attentive. If we have any problems, we call them immediately and they come within 24 hours. Wherever you are, learn about your resources, and use them.

Pray! God has called you to be responsible for your living space, but He doesn’t ask you to do it alone. Just like with anything else, whether you’re renting or you own a home, God can provide strength, wisdom, and resources to make you successful in your stewardship. I cannot even begin to tell you the spiritual lessons I’ve learned from having bugs and rodents in our apartment. My prayers have never been stronger. My declarations of faith have never been more bold and confident. It has also been wonderful to see Lenny step up and act in faith, and to be the leader that God called him to be.

Psalm 91 is a psalm of God’s protection and provision. I wanted to share just one verse with you, but it is all so good, I can’t pick and choose! May God bless your living space, and may Psalm 91 become real for you and your marriage (especially in your dwelling place):

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge
no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

Photo by Maria Teneva on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

You’re braver than you think

I always beat myself up for having anxiety, but the truth is: for those of us who have anxiety, we are braver than we know. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” Anxiety makes it seem like whatever is giving us fear is strong enough to keep us in bondage, but when we do what makes us afraid―like go on planes, put ourselves in awkward social situations, or deal with conflict at work―we’re acting in courage.

The key is to not let our fear overtake us.

After traveling recently, I researched ways that flight attendants help passengers who are scared of flying (like me!). I learned that flight attendants are trained to make passengers feel comfortable and safe on each flight. But in some of these articles, I read flight attendants’ stories about how fearful flyers “gave in to fear.” The worst one that someone experienced was where a customer made a threat against the airline, so they had to call security to bring the customer off the flight.

There have been times when I’ve given into fear, when I’ve let fear take over me. But now that I’ve had several fearful experiences happen to me, I’ve learned that anxiety-inducing situations are part of life. In the middle of the storm, it’s better to do what makes me scared than to let fear stop me. If I didn’t do what made me afraid, there would be days where I would be curled up in a ball in my bed, listening to the clock tick on the wall next to me. That doesn’t sound like an exciting life!

As a Christian, I always hear people saying to let my faith be bigger than my fear. For a while, I’ve assumed that meant that God was going to shrink my fear and grow my faith. However, as I’ve learned over the years, I have a part to play as well. God grows my faith, but it’s my responsibility to choose to trust my faith instead of my fear.

God doesn’t make things easy for us just because we’re scared. Gideon, for example, was a man who almost let fear get in the way of him being used by God. Yet through each moment, God was faithful, and continued to give Gideon strength. You can read his story in Judges 6. Gideon was the weakest member of his family, who was part of the weakest tribe of Israel. But when the angel of the Lord came to speak to Gideon, he said: “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior!” The angel told Gideon, essentially, that he was braver than he thought. God was about to use this man, and three-hundred able men, to bring down Israel’s enemy.

My favorite part of the story of Gideon is that God truly cancelled every reason for Gideon to fear. The night before Gideon and his army would attack, God told him to go to the enemy camp and listen to a man speak. God promised Gideon that he would be encouraged after visiting the camp. Here is the account of what happened when Gideon obeyed:

“Gideon arrived just as a man was telling a friend his dream. ‘I had a dream,’ he was saying. ‘A round loaf of barley bread came tumbling into the Midianite camp. It struck the tent with such force that the tent overturned and collapsed.’ His friend responded, ‘This can be nothing other than the sword of Gideon son of Joash, the Israelite. God has given the Midianites and the whole camp into his hands'” (Judges 7:13-15).

Of course, Gideon had to go and fight, but God had prepared the way for him to have the victory. I believe that God does the same for us in our struggles. We may not always understand what God is doing, but He gives us just enough to get a taste of the victory we’re going to have through Him. Then, He gives us the strength and courage to act.

Will we take that next step in obedience to God?

No matter how much God does for us, we have to trust Him. We have to make that effort, as He has given us that responsibility to act in faith. God could open a door wide open for us, but it is our job to step through the doorway.

So, what are you scared of today? You don’t have to attack it head on, but if it’s stopping you from living the life that God has for you, you need to deal with it somehow. Even if fear threatens to cripple you, do it scared. Trust me: You’re braver than you think!

Photo by Marina Vitale on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Five questions to become one with your spouse

We are meant to be a team with our spouses, but how often do we check up on one another?

When the Bible describes a husband and wife as “one flesh,” the tense of “become” is actually present progressive (Genesis 2:24). That means we are constantly becoming one flesh, and will continue to do so for our entire lives. In the process of becoming one, you need to know about your other half. And while questions such as “What is your spouse’s favorite color?” and “How does your spouse like his/her coffee in the morning?” are important, those questions will only take you so far on your intimate journey with your spouse.

Marriage is meant to grow you. The following questions can help you and your spouse figure out your goals and work to succeed at them.

I would encourage you to ask your spouse these questions periodically, not just once. Make an effort to create a comfortable environment, so you can both feel free to share your mind without judgment. In the process of becoming one, depending on your spouse’s past experience with spiritual and emotional intimacy, there may be some hesitancy sharing from the heart. Pour yourselves a couple of cups of tea, sit down on the couch, and work through these questions.

Hearing your spouse answer these questions, you may be tempted to provide feedback. Men (generally speaking) may want to fix their wives’ problems or provide quick solutions to their wives’ dreams. Women (generally speaking) may want to nag their husbands until they’ve accomplished the goals they’ve shared with you. Wait until your spouse has had a chance to share, and then share your opinion if invited to do so.

I promise, you will be closer after sharing your ideas with one another. There may be some tension at first, and most likely even some disagreement, but take time to truly discuss these topics until you feel like you’ve reached a resolve. You don’t have to have your whole life figured out in one sitting, but you should be able to come up with a game plan for the next week or so.

  • How do you feel? As a woman (again, generally speaking), I have a hard time navigating through my emotions sometimes. It’s nice to have my husband ask me how I’m feeling so I have permission to speak the emotions out loud. Most of the time, if not all of the time, he is my voice of reason as I realize my emotions are often based on insecurities.
  • What are your dreams/goals for the next week/month/year? I love sharing my dreams and goals with others. Speaking my dreams out loud makes them more real for me. It also gives me permission to process out loud and help transform my dreams into a reality. Your spouse may not know what dreams he/she has, so maybe you can ask the question a different way (such as, What do you want to accomplish in the next week? or What is something you’ve always wanted to do but never took the time to do it?). Again, you don’t have to have your whole life figured out, but asking about your spouse’s dreams can help you accomplish what you didn’t think you could in the near future.
  • How’s that going for you? Sometimes, we’ve already started working on our dreams. Some of us want to start our own businesses or get promotions at work or even heal a broken relationship with a family member or friend. Asking your spouse about the status of that dream can help him/her celebrate the progress he/she has made so far, and take practical steps to finish the task.
  • How may I help you? We absolutely cannot accomplish our dreams alone. I’ve learned that very early on in my short life. Your spouse has been equipped by God with different strengths to help you see your life from a new perspective, or to develop skills that you wouldn’t be able to learn on your own. This is a good opportunity to provide feedback if it is welcomed. However, your spouse may just want encouragement or a listening ear, or even a hug. Be prepared to help in whatever way you’re able, and whatever way your spouse needs.
  • How can I pray for you? Ultimately, our help comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:1-2). Praying for our spouses reminds us to keep our focus on the Lord and to trust Him with our plans. Without being holier-than-thou, we are also called to remind our spouses to trust God’s plan and to lean on His wisdom in all that we do. So, close your planning time together with prayer.

Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash

If you need writing or editing help, please visit www.elisabethwarner.com/services for a free consultation.

Categories
Marriage

The power of silence among couples

Anyone who knows my husband knows that he is a man of few words. However, the words he says are so golden, they make you want to stop what you’re doing and listen. As a woman with many words, I have learned to listen to him and give him the respect he deserves.

But what do we do when neither of us have anything to say?

After two and a half years of marriage, we’ve learned that sometimes, words aren’t necessary. We love driving home in the car just holding hands, not saying a word during the entire half hour drive. When I’m crying, Lenny will put his arms around me and just hold me, the only sound between us my heaving sobs. When Lenny had a busy day at work and doesn’t want to talk at the moment, I stand by his side and wait, in silence, until he’s ready to talk.

How do we know when it’s time to be silent? Well, we’ll never know unless we try it!

James 1:19 says that we must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Although this verse is used to talk about listening, I want to focus on the second part of our instruction: be slow to speak. In a culture that loves texting and feeling compelled to give an answer to everything, it doesn’t make sense to stay silent when you have an answer.

To use a quote that has been attributed to Stephen R. Covey, “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.” Maybe to show we understand, we don’t need to reply. Maybe to simply be there for our spouses, we can sit in silence.

A great example of people who were silent in the Bible were Job’s friends. After Job had lost everything, his friends came from their homes (which weren’t very close to his house, by the way!):

“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:11-13, NIV).

So, give silence a try this week. Whether one of you is grieving or stressed, or one of you is celebrating, try to spend at least a half hour in silence. While sitting there together, pray for one another, and think about what you appreciate about each other.

Because then, when you both talk to each other, you will lean into one another, as the words you choose to say will be golden.

Categories
anxiety

Why can’t I change the culture around me?

When I’m around critical people, I become critical. When I’m around negative people, I develop the nasty habit of complaining. However, I’m really not critical and I can’t stand complaining. I generally tend to look on the positive side of things. So why can’t I help others to be encouraging, instead of letting their negativity bring me to criticism?

I’m learning that it’s not that I have to change the culture. It’s that I have to let God change me.

By nature, we are all critical. It’s a fruit of the flesh, as described in Galatians 5:19-21 (NIV):

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Although I am joyful, the positivity I displayed was a defense mechanism (I’ll talk more about that another day!). True joy is a fruit of the Spirit, as seen after the passage cited above:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Humans in and of themselves are critical and negative. God wants to grow joy and love in me. As I do that, I learn to appreciate the culture around me by focusing on their strengths instead of what I need to fix. The Bible says that we are ministers of reconciliation and ambassadors for Christ:

“So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:16-21).

When God reconciles us to Himself, He charges us to bring others to Him as well. We admit that we need to change (which is super hard to do!) and we humbly accept God’s sanctification in us, which involves making us more like Christ. Then, we meet people where they are, and we are the go-between in our spheres of influence.

Ultimately, my desire to change the culture stems from spiritual pride. Yes, God’s desire is for us to become more like Christ, but at our core, our desire is to improve ourselves to be the best version of ourselves. I demand control in the world, because I think I know what’s best for the world. When we surrender to God and to His plan for us, we truly do become the best version of ourselves. Maybe not the skinniest, smartest, or strongest, but the version of ourselves that reflects Christ. Only then can we change our culture.

When I graduated high school, a bunch of my friends wrote in my yearbook that they saw God in me. Part of me was wondering, Don’t I have any other good qualities besides being a Christian? But now that I’m older, I’m thankful that I was a light in the darkness. I’m thankful that my friends believed that when they talked to me, they would be learning more about God.

Truthfully, after nine more years of studying the Bible, going on several missions trips, working at in a church office, and being involved in church, I definitely feel closer to God and to my church community, but I don’t know how much of a witness I am to those who do not know the Lord. I wonder if it’s because I think I’ve gone to the next “level” of my Christian faith, where I have fallen into the trap of believing I can be a witness for God’s glory without God’s help. God has shown me my own pride, and I’ve fallen on my face, both in humility and in humiliation. When I come out of that deep place, you’ll be sure to read about it!

I started this post talking about how to change the people around me. To be honest, I don’t believe that’s my job. Lights don’t change people. They only point people to the One who can change the world.

Photo by John-Mark Smith on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

Finding that work-life balance

My husband and I got married after knowing each other for a year. We could have waited until we had our finances in order, but we decided that we’d rather work together to make money than establish our own separate budgets only to combine them in the future. Two and a half years later, we’re debt free, in a decent apartment situation, and we’re putting money away for a down payment for our house. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

But sometimes, it’s easy to put our goals in place of the motivation behind our goals.

What do we need for a house? Money. And what do we need to get money? A job. In order to get what we want, we need to make time to work. We love our jobs, and we’re both doing what we love, but at the end of the day, our most important priority is to have a safe place for us to call home. We work so we can afford our apartment and so we can put money away for our future. We started this marriage on the same page, and the excellence we perform at work is motivated by the fact that we have the same goals.

But when my head hits the pillow at night, I forget that the reason I put in so many crazy hours at work is because of the person sleeping next to me.

People tell me that living on Long Island is crazy, but I believe it’s crazy to live anywhere in the world. Everyone I talk to seems to be busy. Our schedules are packed. But why?

As I’ve been talking about on Wednesdays, I’ve abandoned my to-do list. I did this because God wants me to choose what is better (see Luke 10:37-42). What is better: checking items off my to-do list, or loving my husband? I know the answer is my husband, but sometimes my actions don’t reflect that answer.

In our busy (ugh, I hate that word!) lives, what can we do to find that perfect work-life balance?

  • Remember your why. Life coaches and goal-setters talk a lot about our “why.” It’s our motivation for doing what we do. Before knowing what our goals are, we need to know what our ultimate desires are. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” In our marriage, we want to use our money, our resources, and our talent to give glory to God. That is our primary goal. Since God commands us to love our spouses sacrificially, our secondary goal is to be united as husband and wife, to become one. Whatever we do flows from our desire to be united and to glorify God.
  • Make time for each other. I’ve always said that if you don’t have time, you make time. In a way I can’t explain, when I give God my day and seek Him first, like Jesus tells us to do in Matthew 6:33, I discover I have more time. The things that are on my to-do list suddenly don’t matter anymore. When I take on a biblical perspective of my life, I realize my husband is important! Therefore, I start to make time for him. Put a date night on the calendar. Do something that involves talking or creating, not just watching TV or a movie.
  • Use visuals.
  • Pray with and for each other.
  • Celebrate.
Categories
anxiety

What happens when you abandon your to-do list?

Last week, I wrote about abandoning your to-do list and giving God full control of your day. Did you try it? How did it go?

At the time of writing this post, it’s been six days since I’ve let God rewrite my to-do list. For one, I feel much more peace and joy. I’m disgusted at how much I do, and I’m making changes to my schedule to do a little less of the crazy stuff and a little more of what I actually enjoy.

But of course, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. I was 10 minutes late to work today, and I still have a pile of dishes to do before I go to bed tonight. I’ve learned through submitting my schedule to God that He is not a genie. He doesn’t exist to make my life easier or more enjoyable. So, I’m not always going to get to work on time (as a side note: this is not a sign of irresponsibility; my job doesn’t care if I’m late). I’m not always going to have a clean house. I’m going to do what is best for me, for my family, and ultimately for the glory of God, in each moment.

In Luke 10:38-42, we find a story that people often use to talk about slowing down and spending more time with God. Martha has a house full of guests in her home, so naturally, she is doing the chores and preparing the meal. Her sister Mary, though, is sitting at the feet of Jesus, clinging to His every word. Martha complains to Jesus Himself that Mary is not helping, and she asks Jesus rather forcefully to make Mary help her.

But Jesus, the Great Teacher, decides to teach Martha a lesson.

“‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed–or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.'”-Luke 10:41-42

What Martha was doing wasn’t wrong, but what Mary was doing was better. Truthfully, this small portion of Scripture taught me so much about my adulthood.

Now that I’m responsible for making my own schedule, I constantly have a choice. Do I read the Bible, or wash the dishes? Do I spend time with my husband, or go to a prayer meeting at church? Do I enjoy the beautiful day outside, or do I vacuum? Do I call a friend, or do I write a blog post? All of these are good things, but in each moment, I need God’s wisdom to decide which is better.

So, when I decide to let God tell me what is better to do in each situation, it changes me. Here are the symptoms of letting God have control in my life:

  1. I feel less in control.
  2. I want to control those around me.
  3. I realize the magnitude of God.
  4. (I have more in my journal, so we’ll see).
  5. Time passes more slowly.

I had a to-do list because I wanted to be in control of my day. While it’s important to be responsible and plan, it’s also wise to pray and ask God to help us prioritize.

Categories
Marriage

I’m writing a marriage devotional!

My husband and I appreciate all the love and support we’ve received on our Marriage Monday posts. They will continue as long as we continue to have adventures to share!

I’m excited to announce that I’m working on a marriage devotional! Crazy how it happened. My novel is done (praying about publishing it – ANY advice is welcome!), and I was ready to enjoy the weekend on that Friday. Lenny and I pray every night before bed, so when he prayed that night, he prayed that I would finish my book over the weekend.

When he said, “Amen,” I said, “Lenny … I finished my book already.”

He said, “Oh.”

But when my head hit the pillow, God nudged me to work on another book, a book He had stirred in my heart on our honeymoon! Over the weekend, I took out my study Bible and started doing some research. The fun has already begun!

So, my marriage content energy will be spent on writing this new book, but as more exciting adventures happen on my writing journey, I will keep you in the loop.

Other than that news, we have nothing new to report. Even if we did, you know how we like to keep our lives private! We’ve been spending more time together and talking more. As we mature, we grow closer together, and that’s the way it should be.

Categories
anxiety

Abandoning My To-Do List

As a former Administrative Assistant, I enjoy my to-do lists. Checking off those little boxes makes me feel like I accomplished something today. I often like to cross things off my list, so I have a sense of truly conquering that task.

But, a couple of weeks ago, God convicted me about my to-do list.

First of all, it was too long. Unattainable. There was no way I was going to get everything done on my list in one day.

Second of all, my priorities were all out of order. God should be first no matter what, but truthfully, I was stuffing Him into my schedule whenever and wherever I had room. I would get into my car, late to work, after rushing from bed to front door, and realize that I didn’t even think of God in the morning.

Finally, even though I thought accomplish tasks would make me feel, well, accomplished, it made me feel empty. I believed having a busy schedule meant I was important or that my life had purpose, but it made me feel more insignificant and meaningless than ever. Was my life really all about what fit on a small piece of paper?

So, God called me to do something about my to-do list.

He called me to throw it away.

For a type-A perfectionist, that is the scariest thing you could ask me to do. Get rid of my to-do list? Run the risk of leaving tasks undone? Gulp Give up CONTROL? Why would I do that?

Well, of course I would do that. God is in control, and even if I thrive on control and perfectionism, I know I have to learn not to be perfect and not to have control. It’s hard, but I’d rather be in God’s will and not in control, than without God and left to my own devices.

But, I decided I was going to start with one day, and if it didn’t work out, I would go back to my to-do lists.

If you’re wondering how that day went: it’s been three weeks, and I haven’t stopped!

For the sake of those who may be considering letting God have control of your day, I’ll give you the details of how I saw God work. I started my first day reading the Bible and writing down what stuck out to me. Then, I would pray to God, that He would guide my day and make it clear where He wants me to go. Throughout the day, I would think about what I have to do, and I would remind myself that God is in control.

Because I trusted God, I learned about the power of provision, the blessing of community, and the joy of rest and dwelling in His presence. I made it to work on time (normally I don’t); had a focused, productive day at work; finished a freelance project I was working on; colored in my adult coloring book; dealt with a difficult person without totally freaking out but while maintaining my boundaries; and swallowed some sad news without stuffing my feelings or falling apart.

Nothing surprises God. My life is completely in His hands. He sees it all, and He knows. He’s in control.

Before I charge you to try this, I want to give you a quick crash course on how to hear from God. If you’re not familiar with the voice of God, you need to be careful not to mistake your own voice for the voice of God. Something may make sense to you, but it might not be God.

God does not contradict His Word. As you read His Word, you begin to understand His character and what He expects of His people. Although the Bible does not talk about cell phones and cars, it does talk about how to interact with others and how to honor God with our resources. As we study the Scriptures, we gain wisdom, and that wisdom can help us make decisions that honor God.

The Holy Spirit is our Wonderful Counselor. When we accept Christ as our Savior, the Holy Spirit dwells within us and guides us. Please listen when you feel that tug in your heart going in one direction. I’ve found that if God gives us commands, and we don’t follow them, we drift further away from His voice, and His voice becomes muddled with the voices of those around us.

Knowing that letting God guide your day is both terrifying and healing, you should give it a try. If you’re scared to let go of control, just give God one day at a time. I promise you, your day may feel out of your control, but you’ll have more peace than ever.

Leave a comment if you tried this!

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