Throwback Thursday

#Tbt to When I Discovered My Worth

Three years ago, God taught me a beautiful lesson when I went on a walk around where I used to live:

Apart from Christ, I can do nothing.  But through Christ, I can do everything.

You see, I was walking around my old house when I saw a shiny penny on the ground.  At the time, I was unemployed and had to pay student loans, so I saved every penny (literally) that I could find.  I thanked God profusely for providing this tiny little miracle, the proof that God could take care of my needs in any way He chose to do so…even make money fall out of the sky.

But it gets better.  I turned the corner and looked down again.  This time, I saw a beat-up penny, and next to it was a shiny quarter.  God had provided twenty-seven whole cents to provide for my needs.  It may not seem like a lot to you, but when you have no source of income, any amount of money is a lot.

God used this small little blessing to teach me to always remember that I need God every minute of my life.  No matter what blessings come my way, no matter how successful I become, no matter how much “I got it,” I still need God.  Apart from Him, I don’t have blessings.  Apart from Him, I don’t have success.  Apart from Him…I’m lost and confused.

But with Him…even twenty-seven cents can be used in a mighty way for His glory.  With Him…even my life, a small blip on the spectrum of all of humanity, can be used in a might way for His glory.

Now that I’m #blessed with a job, a husband, and an apartment, it is so tempting to forget that I still need God.  Just as easily as God blessed me with these provisions, He can also take them away for whatever reason.  God is fully in control of my life because I’ve surrendered to Him.

Knowing that God is in control has helped me tremendously with my anxiety.  People have anxiety for multiple reasons, but my anxiety really stemmed from not feeling in control.  Growing up, I didn’t feel secure.  I didn’t feel safe.  I woke up every day, knowing that anything could happen, but not sure what that “anything” involved.

When I surrendered my life to God, I learned to trust the One who was now completely in control of my life.  I’ve learned that He’s in control, but He’s not an evil tyrant who wants to make my life miserable.  Rather, He’s a loving father who loves His creation and knows what’s best, not just for me, but for the whole world.  Since He knows what’s best, and since He loves me…I feel secure.  I feel safe.  I wake up every day, knowing that anything could happen, and that “anything” would be a new, exciting adventure.

Every day with Jesus is a beautiful adventure.

Sometimes I feel like that beat-up penny.  Sometimes I feel like I’m worth close to nothing.  Sometimes I feel like no one will notice me if they’re walking past me on the side of the road.

But then I realize that I’m standing with Christ by my side, who is worth much more than a quarter.  As Christ strengthens me, I have confidence to conquer any trial that comes my way.  As Christ affirms my identity in Him, I have the courage to dispel any insecurity that wells up within me.  I am free to live the life that God has created me to live.

If you’re doubting your worth today, know that God is not finished with you yet.  Trusting in God is not always easy, but it is worth it.  God will provide what you need when you need it, and He will accomplish mighty things through you if you let Him.

Photo by Jay Castor on Unsplash