It brings joy to my heart to hear couples talk about their marriage in a positive way, especially couples that have been married for a long time. If couples that have been married for several years can look back on their marriage and smile, in the midst of the various seasons that they have experienced together, I know there’s hope for us newlyweds too!
This week, I asked my friends how they felt God was working in their marriage. Based on what they said, and on my own personal experience, here are three ways that God works in marriage:
- He uses my spouse to make me a better person
The ones we love can point out our strengths and encourage us to grow stronger in them. They represent Christ’s love to us by affirming us instead of tearing us down. They help us to carry out God’s plan for our lives.My friend has seen God in her engagement through encouragement. They both see gifts in each other that they were not able to see on their own. The encouragement to grow talents and skills that they didn’t even know they had could literally alter the course of their lives. What a blessing to have someone who loves you to come alongside you and remind you of your strengths! - He uses my spouse to keep me in check
As much as encouragement is important in marriage, accountability is just as important. We know what we need to do to live righteously, and sometimes we need someone to speak the truth in love to get us back on track.My marriage has been like a mirror, allowing me to see myself for who I really am. My marriage has helped me to be more honest with others, with myself, and with God. I have seen God through our marriage through my husband’s love for me despite my mistakes, failures, and insecurities. We don’t let each other talk poorly about ourselves.My friend who has been married for nine years also believes that her marriage has helped her grow as a person. She has learned to make decisions with her husband, which has led them to seek God in prayer when they have to make a decision.
- He uses my marriage to bring me closer to Him
Through the ebbs and flows of life, God is constant. When we go through rough times, we pray that God would lead us, and we pour our hearts into His word. When we go through great times, we praise God and tell our friends about the goodness of God.My friend and professor, who has been married for 42 years, can look back on his marriage and see the faithfulness of God and the unity that God intended for marriage, using 1 Peter 3:7 to describe his marriage. Walking together through all walks of life, from raising a family to mentoring students, they have served as an example to so many in their marriage. At the end of the day, they give glory to God for their marriage and for their lives together.
I asked my husband where he sees God in our marriage when we went out to dinner one night. He pointed at the table. “He’s right at the center. Right in between our decisions, and everything we do.” I love that! 
If you’re questioning whether God is working in your marriage, let me encourage you: He can. Choose today to make God the center of your marriage. It takes prayer, an intentional effort, and faith that God will make a way. Connect with couples who have placed their marriage in God’s hands, and be encouraged by the ways that God has worked in their marriage. (That includes us! If you need any advice or encouragement, please message us or comment on this blog!).
Sometimes God is working in your marriage, but you don’t see it because you need a change in perspective. Ask God now to show you where He is working in your marriage. Whether you’re hitting a rough patch together where it’s difficult to see God, or you’re wondering how to get your spouse on the same page as you spiritually, trust God to show you how to respond to His moving in your marriage.
Elisabeth Warner 