Overlooking the little things

And we’re back for another episode of “What’s going on in my life?” Except I’ve been so busy that I’m not writing about what’s going on in my life. This is a Marriage-Monday-on-a-Wednesday post I wrote in September 2019 but never shared. After reading it, I felt encouraged, so I hope it encourages you as well!

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I always make a joke that my husband leaves his socks on the floor. This is something he actually never does, but there are little quirks of his that annoy me. So as to not embarrass him, and to show respect to him, I’m not going to share those quirks, but I am going to talk about how those quirks make me feel. I feel like he doesn’t listen to me. I feel like I’m wasting my time. I feel like what’s important to me isn’t important to him.

But when I think about it, the “little things” that annoy me aren’t as important to me as Lenny is to me.

I finished a Bible plan on YouVersion (“Living Room Reset” by Kirk Cameron) with some of my friends from church. On the third day, Cameron shares a story about a man who was annoyed that his wife left her slippers on the floor every single day. It would drive him crazy. It annoyed him every day of their marriage, until the day that she passed away. After that, he wished he would trip over her slippers, because that would mean she was still around to leave them there.

Sure, Lenny and I may bicker or get on each other’s nerves, but what really matters? That we’re still together. That he’s still around. That I’m still around. And that we’re seeking to honor God in our marriage.

Because we’re both busy in this season, we’re finding that a lot more is annoying us about each other. We seem to be snippy with one another (OK, I’ll admit it, I get snippy with Lenny because that’s how I handle stress), and there is literally friction between us. But we’ve forgotten that we’re busy because we’re building our lives together for each other. We’re working to make sure we have enough money to go on vacations and take care of our son and fulfill our dreams. To get annoyed that we’re getting in the way of doing our daily tasks is so backwards, because the daily tasks we’ve taken on are for the sake of each other!

Generally speaking, if you’re in a busy season with your spouse, you need to overlook the little things. You need to decide that your spouse is more important than whatever you have on your to-do list today. If your husband had a rough day at work and needs to vent, put down the book and let him vent, especially if he’s like my husband and chooses his words very carefully! If your wife comes to you crying and she confesses that she doesn’t feel good enough, take your eyes off the television and look into hers. Aside from God, your spouse should be your number-one priority.

So the next time your spouse leaves his socks on the floor, or he leaves his dish in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher, or she decides to have a deep conversation with you when you’re about to go to bed…just remember that the one you said your vows to on your wedding day, on one of the most important days of your life, is doing life with you now. He is still your prince charming. She is still your princess. You are still meant for each other, even when life happens.