Categories
Marriage

The Rings

Yes, this is my engagement ring! My hubby is a keeper.

When my husband proposed, he gave me a ring he picked out all by himself.  I didn’t give him any hints; I trusted his judgment and I knew he could make a good choice.  I was pleasantly and appropriately surprised when he opened the ring box and revealed a beautiful ring with a blue diamond as the center stone.  He loves my eyes, and he said this ring reminded him of my eyes.  He put a lot of thought and love into this ring, and two years later, I still love it.

While the ring is not the most important element of our marriage, the wedding ring is a visual reminder of the covenant we made together at the altar.  When my husband and I exchanged vows, our pastor explained that the ring is a symbol of our love.  We recited the traditional vows, that we would love each other and be committed to each other through every season of life, no matter what happened.

I still remember the exact vow I made to my husband as I put the ring on his finger: “With this ring, I thee wed, and with all my wordly possessions I thee endow.”  Isn’t that such an interesting vow?  Of all the things I could have promised my husband, I promised to give him all my stuff!

After doing some research, I found out that the full traditional vow is: “With this ring, I thee wed; with this body, I thee worship; and with all my worldly possessions I thee endow.”  Obviously, we only worship God, so I’m glad that our pastor took that part out of the vow.  But the sentiment behind the whole vow is that we are to put each other before ourselves.  I don’t own anything; we share everything.  I don’t get to choose when I’m my own person and when I’m my husband’s wife; I’m always his wife, and he’s always my husband.

Every time I look at my ring, I remember that day I made that first commitment to my husband.  I’ll admit that it is easy to forget my commitments when conflicts arise and when difficulties meet us in our marriage.  I forget that I sacrificed my life to love and to serve my husband and to surrender my own will to the well-being of our marriage.  But the ring is meant to remind me that through every season of life that I promised to love my husband with everything I have, and that includes when I didn’t feel like it.  That includes when he makes me mad.  That includes when we don’t see eye-to-eye.  Even when we go through rough patches, we still love each other and are still called to treat each other with respect.  Our rings serve as reminders of that.

Whether you’re in a dry season or a difficult season in your marriage, look down at your left hand and see the symbol of your spouse’s love for you.  Your ring is a symbol of how much your spouse loves you.  If the storms of life caused you to lose your ring, I encourage you to find a visual reminder that you can put somewhere you will always see it.  As another visual reminder, we have our wedding photos all over our apartment.  Sometimes when we’re fighting, I’ll look at our photos, see our smiling innocent faces, and instantly melt.  How could we be so mad at each other when we were once so enchanted by each other?  Those visual reminders encourage me to pray for my marriage and to put my husband before myself.

Rings are beautiful.  Sometimes they are expensive, and sometimes you get them for a nice bargain.  Sometimes they are homemade, and sometimes they are from a catalog.  Sometimes they are passed down from a deceased relative, and sometimes they are crafted specifically for the one you love.  Regardless of how you chose your ring, or how your spouse chose your ring, wear it with the reminder that you are dearly loved by your spouse.

 

Categories
Marriage

Did You Marry Your Best Friend?

I had the idea to write this blog, but I had no idea that this topic was so controversial!  I wanted to talk about how much I enjoyed spending time with my husband, and how I consider him my best friend.  But after doing some research, I see that society is torn about whether or not your husband is your best friend.

I’m starting to realize now a year into my marriage that I don’t know everything there is to know about marriage.  I feel like the teenager that knew everything but then realized that life is not what she thought!  So, although what I have been sharing with you all is valid, there is still much I need to learn, and much that I need to learn more before I can say I’ve mastered that topic.

One of those things, apparently, is marrying your best friend.

Now, the question is not should you marry your best friend.  The question is not should your husband be your only friend (I’ve already addressed that question in this post).  The question I am posing here is: Do you enjoy hanging out with your spouse?

I’ve learned that a spouse fulfills many roles. A spouse is a business partner as you manage your finances together and give each other work advice.  A spouse is a house manager as you work together to clean, repair, and organize your living space.  A spouse is an accountability partner as you vent and he/she gives you feedback about your experiences.  A spouse is a parent as you work together to figure out how to raise your kids.

As we grow into adults and have to take on more responsibilities, we see that God intended for our spouses to truly help us live our lives.  Studies show that middle aged people experience a “dip in happiness” due to the stresses of life, but spouses can help cushion that dip with love and support.  However, my warning is to not let your spouse just be your “responsibility sharer.”  What fun would you have if you only talked about paying the bills, Johnny’s trip to the principal’s office, and what to do about the crack in the ceiling?

Before I met my husband, I knew subconsciously that I wanted a man who would be all of these things for me.  Even in my teenage years, I was praying for God to bring me a man like this.  But when I actually met my husband, these things were not on my mind.  These were the actual questions running through my head: Can I talk to him without thinking too hard about what to say?  Does he make me laugh?  Do we enjoy doing similar things?  And, of course, we had great conversations, we laughed together, and we found things to do together that we both enjoyed.

Over time, after getting to know him better, I learned that he would be a great financial adviser; he is good with money and he works hard at whatever he does.  I learned that he would be a great house manager; he looks at our living situation in a way that I don’t and he helps strategize how to best take care of it.  I learned that he would be a great accountability partner; we both follow the word of God, and he is able to tell me the truth in love.  I learned that one day, he would make a great dad; I see how he interacts with children and I know that he will be a great role model for our boys and a gentle protector of our girls.

Don’t forget to enjoy your spouse in the midst of the day-to-day responsibilities.  Go on a journey with your spouse.  Schedule time for just the two of you to have fun and relax.  And remember why you fell in love in the first place.  Marital love is not a business transaction; it is a plant that needs to be cultivated and nurtured in order for it to grow strong and produce fruit in your life.

Photo by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

Stop Beating Yourself Up

The title of this post may be all you needed to hear. Listen up: it is doing you no good to beat yourself up. Take a look at my story and know that you are not alone in self-criticism.

I am my own worst critic. Most of the time, I’m not satisfied with myself. I wrestle between if I’m smart enough, pretty enough, hygienic enough, financially stable enough, prosperous enough…and ultimately, good enough. I compare myself to everyone. It’s a game. As long as I’m smarter than you, or prettier than you, or better with my finances with you, then I’m confident. But as long as there are people who are better than me at something, I beat myself up until I’m the best.

You wonder why I feel overwhelmed.

My anxiety is stemmed from the fact that I don’t feel confident in myself. I am constantly in fear of failure. I am constantly afraid that people will judge me. I am constantly in fear that whatever crack in my perfection someone notices will ruin our relationship forever.

I feel that way, because all of those things have happened to me. I have failed. I have been judged. I have been abandoned when all the plates I’ve been juggling fall to the ground in one sweep.

I have become my own worst critic so I can be better than others at criticizing myself.

No matter how good I get at anything, I’m never going to be better than Jesus. And do you know what Jesus says about me? That I’m worth dying for. That I’m enough. That God can use me to accomplish great things. Why would Jesus waste His time dying for me if I wasn’t good enough? Why would God create a plan that involved me if I wasn’t good enough?

God’s grace is bigger than our own worst criticism.

First John 3:20 says: “If our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” When we feel like we are not good enough, what God says is mightier than what we say about ourselves. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows that we make mistakes all the time. He knows that we are not perfect. He knows we have been broken by our past. But He chooses not to look at our shortcomings but to edify us according to His word.

Do you choose to listen to the One who has never abandoned you (God), or the one who has left you out in the cold (the world)?

Make a conscious effort to stop beating yourself up, even with your panic attacks. I know it may be considered shameful to have a panic attack because you are not in control and honestly it’s embarrassing. But when panic strikes, think about what God says about you. If you don’t know what God says about you, spend some time reading the Bible, which is filled with God’s promises for His people. By His people, I mean those who have fully trusted in Christ as Savior.

Here are some Bible verses compiled by Neil Anderson that affirm who we are in Christ. Read them out loud and let God transform your way of thinking. Accept His grace into your life instead of the world’s condemnation.

Photo by Averie Woodard on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

When We Disagree

Unfortunately, our society has made us feel like when we disagree, we cannot love each other and we cannot work through our differences. When someone disagrees with us, we feel personally offended, like all the hard work and research that we put into our opinions were squashed by one sweeping blow of another person’s opinion. But that’s not the way that God intended us to live in community. We are all made in God’s image, and through that we each display unique attributes that all help us see God in humanity.

How do you and your spouse handle disagreements in your marriage?

Based on what I have heard from counselors and other people who have experience with disagreement (everyone but us, of course!), here are some practical tips for dealing with disagreement:

  1. Submit to one another. Ephesians 5 says that we should submit to one another.  That means that when you’re in a disagreement, one of you needs to “give up” and let your spouse win.  I’ve heard conservative couples say that the wife should always submit to the husband, but sometimes the wife has some valid points that the husband needs to consider, so he shouldn’t have the mindset that his opinion is the only one that matters.
  2. Look at the bigger picture. Prayer helps us have a better perspective on the issues that we face. Is it really life-threatening that he wants a blue rug, but she wants an orange one? Is it really going to destroy your marriage if he wants to go to Puerto Rico on vacation and she wants to go to the Bahamas? There are obviously more serious disagreements, such as where you are going to live and how you’re going to spend your money, but above everything else, you need to remember to make a decision together. There is no perfect decision, but there is always a way to make a decision that makes you both comfortable.
  3. Write a pro-con list. You can’t ignore the facts. If one person wants to move out of state and the other doesn’t, for example, look at the benefits (saving money, getting a bigger house, more work opportunities) and the threats (smaller salaries, being away from family, having to move your child out of school) of making either decision. You may think your way is better, but listen to your spouse and look at the facts together. Be open to changing your mind.
  4. Avoid trigger words. It is only natural for us to be personally offended when someone disagrees with us. But don’t let it happen. Don’t let your personal feelings get in the way of a decision that is being made.  Avoid phrases such as “What are you talking about?” “What is your problem?” and “What is wrong with you?”  I don’t care who is right in this situation.  If you talk to your spouse like that, he/she will definitely tune out and not give your idea even a second thought.

The most important thing to remember is that disagreement does not equal fighting. At least, it doesn’t have to involve fighting.  According to the Bible, when a man and a woman get married, they become one flesh.  We are called to consistently and continually become one throughout our marriage. We learn to compromise, we learn to communicate, and we learn to make decisions together. It is a practice that takes time, but must not be detrimental to the marriage.

What tips do you agree with?  What tips would you add to this list?

Photo by Luiz Hanfilaque on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

When to Go and When to Stay

As a young person (under the age of 30), a huge source of anxiety has come from when to take the next step.  When do I get married?  When do I move?  When do I take that job?  When do I have children?  The instant gratification world that we live in answers all these questions with right now.  Do what makes you happy right now, no matter what it costs.

However, when we follow God, we have to ask ourselves, and God, the question: What does God want for my life?

Our default answer with God is to wait.  Most of the time, in the Bible, God asks His people to wait.  Joseph had to wait 40 years before his childhood dream of ruling would come to fruition.  The Israelites had to wait 400-plus years to be set free from their slavery in Egypt.  Paul the apostle had to learn and grow for several years before he began his missionary journey, and he had to wait several years in jail for God to be glorified in his situation.

Despite these valuable stories, I believe that some people use “the call to wait” as an excuse not to have the faith and the courage to move forward.  We think that just because we are comfortable that we are in God’s plan for our lives.  But behind closed doors, we worry that God will call us out of our comfortable lives and allow us to experience inconvenience.

There is a time and a season for everything. We are called to enjoy each season but to trust God with every season. We cannot wait and say that we are currently enjoying this season and do not want to move on to the next one. We cannot tell God that it is inconvenient to move right now. God gives us peace, and when we don’t feel His peace, we know it’s time to change something.

And once we change according to his will, he gives us peace, and that peace is beautiful.

Through much of this blog, I have gone through several transitions in jobs, living situations, and relationship status.  Leaving what I can tolerate for something that can fulfill me is so difficult, but it has always been worth it.  I do not regret agreeing to my husband’s marriage proposal six months after knowing him.  I do not regret taking a job offer from my church the day I was sitting in my kitchen eating cereal, thinking I was going to be teaching English overseas in the near future.  I do not regret every opportunity God has pushed me to make a decision quickly, because when God leads me, I feel His peace.  When He pushes me and I don’t move, I feel a burden in my soul that cannot be quenched.

The Bible also includes times when God pushes His people to move.  God told Abraham, without warning, to leave his family behind and start a new legacy on Earth.  God spoke to Gideon to take an Israelite army against the Midianites, as Gideon was hiding from the enemy in a cave.  God told Cornelius to talk to Peter so that he could receive the gospel and find healing.  If any of those people had waited, God wouldn’t have been glorified in those situations in the way that He intended.

How do you know when it’s time to go and it’s time to stay? Well, I could give you practical tips. I could tell you step-by-step ways to know. But God doesn’t work like that. Sometimes his plan doesn’t make sense.  Seek God’s peace through reading His word and sharing your feelings with other people.  When you know it is time to move, you will know.  When it is not time to move, you will know that as well.  Whether God calls you to stay or to go, trust Him in the process.

Photo by Bryan Minear on Unsplash

Categories
Book Update

Book Update: You Can Help!

This book has been a journey that has taken a lot longer than the perfectionist in me has expected!  I have finally finished editing my third rewrite.  The editing involved taking the 80,000 words I had written and seeing what fit into the plot of my book, what needed to be cut, and what needed more development.  I have a bullet point list of what I need to develop.

Would you like to help me?

My book is about a woman who struggles with anxiety.  I know my own struggle with anxiety, but I don’t want the main character’s experience to be one-sided.  My goal for this book is to have a familiar character that encourages those who struggle with anxiety that they are not alone.  If you have an anxiety disorder of any kind, click here to fill out a special form for you.  As the form explains, your answers are confidential and your name will not be shared anywhere.  Please answer as honestly as possible, and if you want to speak further with me about it, please provide your e-mail address so that I can reach out to you.  Your story will make my character more relatable.

I’ve had experience helping others with anxiety, and I believe this experience will help me create an environment for my character to find hope in the midst of anxiety.  If you are a therapist and/or have experience with helping people with anxiety, click here to fill out a special form for you.  Please do not include anyone’s names or relationship to you so that you don’t not break the confidentiality.  Your name will not be shared.  Please answer as honestly as possible, and if you want to speak further with me about it, please provide your e-mail address so that I can reach out to you.

I’m posting this on a Tuesday.  I am going to give you all until Saturday to fill out the form if you are interested.

Now that I’ve taken such a long time to write this book, I want to make sure I do it right.  I want to put more research into the book, to show that I have fully invested in this story.  I want to find just the right setting, just the right character development, and just the right ending to comfort a hurting soul.

Thank you for your help in my endeavor, whether through prayer, encouragement, or providing feedback.

Photo by Trent Erwin on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Struggles in Marriage

When I was on my honeymoon with my husband, I knew that life could not get any better.  We were sipping piña coladas at no additional cost.  We were warm under the beautiful Bahamas sun.  We woke up at 5:40AM and went to bed at 8:00PM.  One day, we went to bed at 6PM and missed our 7:30PM dinner reservations.  But guess what?  We didn’t care!

Only fourteen months later, while the honeymoon feelings are still there (we are holding onto them as long as we can!) our lives are not as warm and fuzzy as the Bahamas sun.

Life is hard.  The money runs out, the work day is stressful, and the demands of life are more than the average person can handle.  All of those things can cause us to take out our anger on our spouses if we are not careful.

I want to offer a bit of encouragement to those who are going through a difficult season.  Regardless of where you are in life, you may be in a place where you’re tempted to fight against your spouse rather than with your spouse.  Your spouse is your life partner and journey sharer, the one who God has chosen to love you and to encourage you on your journey.  God has chosen you to do the same for your spouse.  You and your spouse are a team, a force that is more powerful together than apart.

The Bible says that two people are better than one.  That passage in Ecclesiastes talks about one person falling into a hole and another person pulling him out, and a person who is cold and has someone to keep him warm in bed.  Those are both two difficult situations that are made easier when there are two people struggling rather than one.

The same is true for marriage.

Married friends, your spouse is meant to help you through the difficult times.  Do not see your spouse as an enemy, but as a partner in crime.  Pray together and let God speak through both of you.  You will be amazed at the confirmation you receive from God as a result of what He tells you and your spouse.

Yesterday, when I was at work, I had a lot of time to think about the situation we are currently facing.  For several months, we have been praying about a specific problem that we have been having.  An idea popped into my head and wouldn’t stop nagging me. It seemed like a good idea, but it was completely against what we have been planning all this time.  To convince my husband to get on board with my idea, after I spent all this time trying to convince him otherwise, would have been difficult and would have made me look fickle.  I prayed that God would give me wisdom.

At home, while we were talking about our situation, I proposed my idea to him.  He smirked when I finished talking.  “It’s amazing that I was thinking the same exact thing today,” he said.  God spoke to both of us about an idea that we were completely against a few days ago.

Through this struggle we’ve been having, I have never seen my husband pray more.  I have never seen my husband have more faith in God’s plan and God’s timing.  My husband has done such an incredible job of encouraging me in our struggle.  And I’ll admit that I haven’t been as positive as I usually am, but I pray that God has grown me through this and that the growth is evident in my life!

Let’s face it: Life is not a beautiful trip to the Bahamas.  Instead of asking God to take away your struggle, ask God to use this struggle to bring you closer to Him.  When you trust God and trust your spouse in the midst of struggle, God will grow you and your marriage.  You will look back on this difficult season and know that God used it to fulfill His plan and purpose in you and your spouse’s lives.

Photo by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

What to Pray When You’re Anxious

Update from last week: I decided to take my own advice and to make time for myself. Last week was more than I could handle, and instead of moving around like clockwork, I knew I needed to pause and do something for myself. My husband had gotten me a gift certificate to get a foot massage. Sunday seemed like the perfect time to get one! After doing nothing but get my feet rubbed for one whole hour, I realized that I very rarely do nothing anymore. I made a decision to make time to do nothing more often. I will consciously put away my phone, put down the book, and just let my mind wander for a set amount of time. It’s a discipline, but it is so totally worth it!

Before I met Jesus, I didn’t know how to pray when I needed help. I thought that God was staring down at me from Heaven, angrily waiting for me to concoct the perfect prayer while I stammered anxiously. As a perfectionist, I wanted to give God the best prayer to help me in my need. However, the process of trying to make up a great prayer left me too scared to even pray.

But as I grew to know Jesus as Savior, to understand that He is a Person who genuinely cares about me, that’s when my prayers began to change. I began to read His Word and to study more about who Jesus is and God’s plans for my life. Prayer became talking to God. Just like I talk to my earthly father, I can talk to my Heavenly Father with even more love and peace, knowing that He cares deeply about me and only wants the best for me. I received that privilege as a child of God through Jesus’ sacrifice of dying on the cross and forgiving me of my sins. Now I trust in Him as my Lord and Savior.

When I am in need of a Savior, I know I can call on the name of Jesus.

No matter how long or short my prayers are, they have turned into genuine prayers that cry out to Jesus for help. Sometimes I just whisper His name, and sometimes I say, “Please, Lord, help me.” I trust that He is able to help me when I need Him.

Jesus truly has a beautiful name. When He came to Earth, His name was very common. But the meaning behind it is what has shaken the atmosphere and has caused us to live in new hope, power, and life. The name “Jesus” means “our God saves.”

Jesus was sent by God to save the world.

The angel Gabriel came to Earth and told Mary and Joseph to name their son Jesus. Names were very important during that time. Your name represented your identity. Jesus’ identity is Savior. Jesus points us back to God and reminds us that He alone is our salvation.

Do you trust in His name? Do you trust in His saving power? When we know that His name has power and we trust him to meet us in our moments of deep weakness, He will meet us in His strength to change the world. When we speak the Word of God over our situations, we know that He will use His promises to bring healing and redemption into our mess.

We will trust in his name as the One who saves.

So when you are anxious, you don’t have to concoct the best prayer. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to ask for His help. It doesn’t get more simple than that: just trust in Him, and call on His name. Let Him speak to your heart in your anxious moments.

Jesus, please help me.

By speaking those words, you trust that Jesus is able to help you.

I can tell you from many years of past experience that whenever I call on the name of Jesus, He answers me and helps me in my weakest moments. May the Prince of Peace become the Lord of your life that will never leave you or forsake you!

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Women Need Women

Before I got married, I lived in a house full of women. The only man in the house was our male cat, Tyler. Given the fact that my mom, my sister, and I lived in close quarters together, we would talk about everything. My mom was a nurse and had a lot of unique experiences, so I felt comfortable asking her for advice about pretty much everything. My sister knows a lot about fashion, and she loves to encourage people, so I always send her pictures when I’m shopping to see what she thinks of my outfit. I’m a great listener, and I like going deep with people emotionally, so both my mom and my sister have had great chats with me about their feelings, their faith, and how to resolve conflict. We were a great team, and we worked together really well.

My mom was the first one to get a man and cause a shift in this woman-only house. Not even six months later is when I met my husband, and a few months after my sister started dating her now fiance. While in the honeymoon stage, we all focused very seriously on our partners like we were supposed to do. Although we were close before, and still were close while we were focusing on our relationships, we made boundaries of not sharing our personal problems with each other.

My mom started dating her boyfriend in August 2014. I started dating my boyfriend in June 2015. My sister met her boyfriend in August 2015.

My mom got engaged in April 2015. We got engaged in December 2016. My sister got engaged in December 2017.

My mom got married in September 2017. We got married in November 2016. My sister is planning her wedding now but is getting married soon.

After being married for about a year and a half, I’ve learned one thing: I still need my mom and my sister. I still need to ask my mom advice or even just vent to her. I still send my sisters pictures of my outfits that I’m trying on at in the fitting room. I still call them all the time and catch up with them.

As much as I love my husband, he wasn’t meant to be my everything. God gave him to me to be my life partner and journey sharer. But God also gave me such lovely friends and family members that have made my journey easier as well.

My husband craves time with his guy friends, so I know this is not just a woman thing. He enjoys going over his friend’s house and spending time with them. As a woman, I expect to have the same type of relationship with my female friends. I love calling one of my friends from college who lives out of state but knows just what to say to make me feel better. I love talking to my friends who are walking through life with me; I’m able to go on adventures with them and laugh about our struggles, knowing that we are not alone in our battles.

Every relationship has a place. Without stepping on your husband’s toes and on your marriage, invest in the other relationships in your life. I warn you: do not gossip to your friends/family members about your husband, but talk about how you’re feeling. Whether the world wants to believe it or not, women and men are different and have different needs. While men want to help, they’re not always able to meet our every need. Even if the women in your life can’t fix the problem, they can walk through it with you while you figure it out in time.

It’s important to build that relationship with your husband, but don’t forget about the other people in your lives. If you have friends that are married, do not gather around and bash your husbands together. Instead, share your struggles with each other so that you can all discover that you are not alone. And enjoy the bond that God has given all of you as women!

Photo by Joseph Pearson on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

Make Time for You

A few months ago, I experienced what it’s like to have literally nothing left.

I was in a difficult season where every single minute of my life had been assigned to an activity.  Even when I was napping, I would read a book or I would scroll on my phone.  I desired a break, even a day off, but I didn’t know how to have one.

That day, I had come home from work with a migraine and severe muscle pain.  We were in the process of moving at work, and I had over-exerted my energy.  I felt like someone had beat me up.  I felt like I had literally been run over with a truck.  The last thing I wanted to do was drive home.  But once I got home, I put lavender in my oil diffuser, put on my pajamas, and sprawled out across my bed that was covered in fluffy pillows.

For the first time that I could remember, I did absolutely nothing for the rest of the night.  I didn’t really have much of a choice. But looking back, I desperately needed it.

Why do we exhaust ourselves?  I know for me, it’s the fear that I’m not getting enough done.  When God rested, it indicated that He was satisfied with His work.  When we rest, we trust that we have completed the work that God has called us to do.

God knows you have limits, and He does not expect you to go beyond your limits in your own strength.  When I go on a plane, which makes me anxious, it takes so much emotional energy out of me that even if I come home early in the day, I always take off the next day of work so that I can recharge and relax.  But sometimes God calls me to trust His strength in the busy seasons.  I need eight hours of sleep, maybe even nine at this point of my life.  If I have to do something that requires me to stay up all night or to get up earlier than is comfortable for me, that means I need God’s strength, and I might need to make some adjustments to my schedule later.

You may be at a very busy season of your life.  However, God calls us to rest, just as He rested, and He calls us to make time for ourselves.  If you don’t have time, make time.  That may mean calling out sick to work one day.  That may mean letting your husband watch the kids while you do what you want.  That may mean even going on vacation for a few days and leaving your cell phone in your hotel room while you relax on the beach.

Is your schedule really more important than your mental, physical, and emotional health?

Your kids would not appreciate it if you were taking care of them, but you were exhausted and therefore short-tempered.  Your work would not appreciate it if you worked overtime every day, but you didn’t get any work done because you were so drained.  It’s hard to admit, but we all have limits.  We all get spent.  And we all have different limits and tolerances.

You know you need a break when you start exhibiting any of the following symptoms:

  • Fatigue
  • Irritability
  • Memory loss
  • Insomnia
  • Short-temper
  • Depression/loss of joy of life

If you have any of these, look back on your schedule for this week and see where you need to cut back.  Don’t be afraid to admit that you just need some down time.  Do what you love, and don’t feel guilty about it.  Whether it is writing, reading, getting a massage, even coloring, then do it for a few hours.  You would be amazed at what even taking a night off will do for you.  Then, when you are finished relaxing, you will have less stress and more enjoyment of your life.

Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash