Category: Book Update

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Book Update Wisdom Wednesday

Bible “Retellings” Explained

For the past decade or so, “remakes” have swept the box office and have added new (and often upsetting) updates to the original. True fans of the original are completely against these updates, wishing that the directors had never touched an already perfect movie.

In the same way, in the book world, fairy tale “retellings” are popular, but they’re more widely accepted than movie “remakes.” With fairy tale or folk tale retellings, anything goes. Swap the genders of the main characters, change the setting, or tell the story from a different point of view (POV). By far, though, this is my favorite Cinderella retelling:

Credit: @berkeleymews

I’m currently reading a Peter Pan retelling, told through Captain Hook’s POV, and it paints Peter Pan as the bad guy who kidnaps boys from their homes and forces them to ingest pixie dust in order to stay young forever.

What Is a Bible Retelling?

Like a fairy tale retelling, people have taken liberties of retelling Bible stories. I love the idea of telling a Bible story in a different genre. A dystopian retelling of Jonah? The story of Hosea that takes place during the Gold Rush? Those changes in setting help us understand the timeless principles in the Bible and apply them to our lives in unique ways.

A Warning for Bible “Retellings”

With fairy tale retellings, anything goes. You can change anything about the story and it’s still inspiring, engaging, or interesting. However, there is clear instruction in Scripture not to change, add, or take away anything from the Bible. If you’re going to write a Bible “retelling”, make sure it’s accurate to the original story. You don’t have permission to make up new scenarios that replace the Bible, like What if Potiphar’s wife was arrested for trying to assault Joseph, instead of Joseph getting put in jail? That’s actually in the Qu’ran, so you’re accidentally creating a new religion. God had a plan for Joseph, so even though we in our flesh wish things were different, we can’t rewrite Scripture and pretend they were different.

Retellings vs. Allegories

A retelling is telling the same story from a different perspective, or imagining “what if” situations that would change the outcome of a story. An allegory, however, has themes from a story that keep the same essence of the story but with different characters who may or may not follow the same script.

When we read biblical fiction, even if they’re based on real people, even if they’re historically accurate, even if it’s literally the exact same story just set in space instead of Ancient Israel…stories “retelling” the Bible can only be allegories. They should never be taken as gospel. They should never be a replacement of the Bible, or even a Bible study. But maybe they will inspire you to read Scripture for yourself and study what the story is actually about.

Biblical Allegories vs Books With Biblical Themes

There are books that take Bible stories and put them in new genres, but there are also stories that take ideas from the Bible and put them in their stories. These themes include:

  • Redemption
  • Forgiveness
  • Healing
  • Hope
  • Perseverance in trials
  • Love
  • Salvation

They are not based on a specific part of Scripture, but they have themes that you can find in Scripture. My Internet Shutdown series contains Biblical themes, including all those listed above!

My Bible “Retelling” (Allegory)

I’m writing a Biblical allegory that was inspired by Galatians 1:6, which reads in the ESV:

“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel.”

My story’s premise is, an enemy has crept into the ranks of an army and has turned the people away from the king one by one. But one will be faithful to the king, even when faced with convincing lies. Will the one be victorious, or will the lies overcome the undefeated army?

As I began writing this story, I saw influences from the book of Daniel. Even in an enemy territory, Daniel was faithful to God. Also, God was there, even though Daniel wasn’t in his homeland, where the temple dwelled.

Someone from my critique group also saw some parallels from the story of David. David, a man after God’s own heart, is the kind of character I want to model my character after. The one who is faithful has such a close, deep, and personal relationship with God, that he recognizes the lies right away.

Biblical Allegories I Recommend*

Until my book comes out (which won’t be for AT LEAST a year), here are some Biblical allegories that I have read and highly recommend:

  • Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (allegory of Hosea)
  • Amok by Anna Tan (allegory of Samson; the other books in the same series have biblical themes but are not based on any particular book in the Bible)
  • Destined Duology by Hannah Gaudette (allegory of Christ’s sacrifice)
  • In the Field of Grace by Tessa Afshar (Ruth)**
  • Pearl in the Sand by Tessa Afshar (Rahab)**

I have read countless books that have biblical themes in them, and adding them all to a list would be too long 😅

*Note: this list will be updated as I read more books with Biblical allegories! I have some more on my TBR (to be read) list.

**Tessa Afshar writes Biblical fiction. While her work shouldn’t replace Scripture, it does contain historically and biblically accurate information. The settings of the book listed correlate with when they take place in the Bible. The author uses creative license to make the characters more relatable for the story, and she makes a note when a detail of her story is not included in the Bible.

Conclusion

As always, when reading Biblical fiction, you should read the book of the Bible that correlates with the story you’re reading. If you pick up Redeeming Love, read the book of Hosea, for example. While I write my current work in progress, I’ll be studying the stories of David and Daniel, which both span over multiple books in the Bible. Maybe I’ll share my musings of these parts of Scripture on this blog. For now, let me recommend the Bible Project. Their YouTube videos are insightful and give an overview of each book of the Bible.

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Book Update

Quick Update – I’m Back for Good!

Hello! I know you all missed me 🙂 It’s time to revive this blog. I have a lot of good news to share, and I’m ready to give it out!

Here are some quick life updates since my last post:

  1. I wrote (and published) another book! The sequel to In Real Life, called Human Again, is available on Amazon. For the month of December, 2023, I’m offering both books for sale at 25% off. If you’ve read either or both of these books already, please rate and review them on Amazon and/or Goodreads. Your review helps other people find these books and know what they’re investing in!
  2. I’m writing book #3 in the series! This past November, I participated in a writing challenge and wrote more than 50K of the first draft of my third novel, Original Thought. I don’t have an official release date yet, but my goal is to have it out at the end of June, just in time for summer break. That way, you can read it while relaxing on the beach or sitting in the cool air conditioning!
  3. I have an official author Instagram page! If you’re on Instagram, please follow @elisabethwarner_author for some funny writing content, encouraging messages, and book updates.
  4. My family is doing well! I don’t like to post a lot about my child online. The main reason being I don’t want my child going back and reading my old posts and thinking, “Mommy, why did you say that about me?” So, no news is good news, right? Mommy, Daddy, and kiddo are all doing well, thank God! And now that my child is a bit older, I feel like I have more energy and a little bit more time for myself.

As for the purpose of this blog, I’d like it to stay the same. I set out to encourage people through writing, and that is what I intend to do. I went through a bit of a rough season where I felt like a hypocrite for sharing positive stuff, when I certainly didn’t feel positive. But, as I’ll share in my next post, I’m learning to choose joy. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, and it’s a virtue I have to cultivate in my life as God leads me and strengthens me.

Since my writing has shifted to novels rather than devotionals and SEO content writing, I’m going to have a little section on the bottom of each of my posts with updates about my novel writing. Who knows? Maybe I’ll write a short story or two instead of a devotional. Just be prepared for weekly content, whether it’s an encouraging, Bible-based non-fiction article or an encouraging, fictional short story.

Thanks for all your encouragement and support! I’d love to hear how you’re doing. Let me know in the comments 🙂 Until next week!

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Book Update

The Question Answered in “In Real Life”

As you know, I published my first novel, In Real Life, in May 2021. If you haven’t read it, I bet you’re thinking what’s it about? Well, it’s about an Internet shutdown, but it’s more than that. It’s about the question I always want to answer in my books, and the question most of us have been asking ourselves over the last few years: Where is the God of hope when hope is lost?

When I became interested in reading dystopian fiction, I began to wonder where God is in each story. If Winston Smith in 1984 had the mind of Christ, how would he have handled the brainwashing? If Offred and the others in A Handmaid’s Tale really grew up in a Christian society governed by the Bible, how would it have affected her prayers and given her freedom? And, from my memories of reading The Hunger Games, there are strong elements of humans trying to replace God, and then trying to usurp evil without the help of God.

In Real Life is about a woman, Lin, who isolates herself from the world. In fact, everyone in 2100 connects to others through social media, and it’s not really necessary to leave the house. But when the government shuts down the Internet, Americans are left to wonder, now what? Money is gone. Food is inaccessible. And any connections you had with your friends are no longer possible.

When I originally wrote this book, I could’ve never imagined that the real world would be going through its own shutdown at the same time. I’ve always heard of potentially bad things happening “in the future,” and I never bothered to think about them happening in my lifetime. And now that they have, I have a new hope in God and a renewed perspective of His character.

In the book, Lin winds up back at her parents’ house and eventually meets her ex-husband again. In a society that believes “we live and then we die,” the idea of God or the hope of the resurrection wasn’t even on her mind. Without spoiling too much from the book, Lin encounters God through ways we can meet Him too: testimonies, dreams, nature, and fellowship. Even when she completely hides herself from others, God reaches into her little corner of the world and gives her hope like no other.

We’re not meant to live life alone, and people can encourage us when we feel like there’s no hope. But even when we are physically alone, while living in isolation, God is with us, and He remains faithful in the midst of chaos.

So, whether you read my book or not, I want you to know that the God of hope is with you. Even when you don’t see hope on social media or on TV or in conversations with your friends, may this post remind you that the eternal God of hope has a glorious plan for this world, and nothing can stop it.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 15:13

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Book Update

The Wait is Over!

Thanks so much to my faithful followers who have continued to read and share this blog! I created this blog to be a joy for me and for my audience, but it was becoming a burden. Between my novel writing, my part-time job at a publishing company, and chores (yay for adulting!), my blog couldn’t really get the attention that it deserved.

While on my hiatus, I’ve learned to make time for God, to “go deep,” and to invite God into my plans. A couple of weeks ago, we had an awesome prayer night at our young adult ministry. It was dedicated to making time for God. As a creative, I spent most of the night playing with clay, drawing pictures, and writing psalms. I had a blast! However, it reminded me that God is in control, and that even rest is necessary for me to be successful. I’m an achiever, and I have my to-do list, but maybe I need to add “rest” and “going for a walk” and “coloring” to my daily tasks!

I’ve also been listening to a great podcast called Write from the Deep, by Karen Ball and Erin Taylor Young. They are both novelists who have helped me find the core message of what God wants to write through me. In a nutshell, my message is: God is faithful even when all has failed me. That is my testimony, and that is what I hope to convey in my writing of YA dystopian, which involves creating societies where chaos is the only thing that’s constant. Even in a dystopia (the opposite of a utopia), God is in control.

During this time, I also finished my novel, joined a critique group, and have been waiting to see next steps for publication. My friends gave me wonderful feedback, and my writer friend recommended that I join a critique group to meet other writers in my genre. So far, I’ve met a couple of people who write my genre, and I’m looking forward to connecting with them and seeing their work!

Along with that, I’m going to start building up my newsletter! I honestly didn’t know what to do as a novelist, but I’m going to start writing short stories. I may also advertise novels in my genre that I enjoy, depending on what I find. To get book updates and all things fiction, click here to join my newsletter!

Finally, I’ve considered publishing a non-fiction book, since I already seem to know how to talk about topics such as marriage and anxiety. However, I have to do research, not just for the book, but about how that affects me as a novelist. I’m more about showing my readers how to have healthy marriages or how to overcome anxiety, than I am about telling my readers what to do. Maybe after writing a topic on my blog, I can write a short story about it. Sound good?

Thanks again to all of my faithful followers who have checked up on me the last couple of weeks. Since I’m able to schedule posts in advance (thank you, WordPress!), I’ve gotten a running start, and have published a month’s worth of posts in advance. You’ll be seeing new content about marriage, anxiety, and what God is teaching me.

Comment below if you have any exciting updates to share!

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Book Update

Hope Against the Hopeless

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve decided to take on the genre of Christian dystopian fiction. Dystopian fiction is based on a world or society where everything has gone wrong. Think 1984, A Handmaid’s Tale, or The Hunger Games. They’re all set at some uncertain time in the future (well, except for 1984, but it was written in the 1930s so for them the ’80s was a long way ahead!), and they describe societies that promote fear, hopelessness, and deep conversations about the fate of humanity.

After hearing that description, you might be thinking, “Those novels were terribly hopeless! I mean, did you read A Handmaid’s Tale? How could you bring God into plots like that?”

My answer to you is…exactly.

Originally, I had wanted to write a novel about a woman who overcomes anxiety in order to encourage other women to find hope. Well, why not create a society that is completely against the protagonist, and watch a woman navigate her way to hope?

This journey started for me after reading A Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. I was not only disturbed by the plot and how women were treated in this story, but also the fact that they use the Bible to justify their terrible acts. Is this how Christianity is portrayed to the rest of the world? When we as Christians claim to have the hope that the world needs, is this what people are thinking? After reading this book, I wanted to create a story that discusses what a Biblical society would look like, and if it became a dystopia, why it went wrong.

I had read 1984 in high school, but I read it again this past week to confirm if this genre is the one for me. During the last section, turning each page with anticipation, my heart pounding out of my chest, nausea rising to my throat…yep, I knew that was what I was meant to write. While reading about Winston’s transformation, I thought about the martyrs who were willing to die for their faith. They went through the utmost torture, and yet they would not betray the One they loved. This book reminded me that while humans have limitations, God does not. God is the one who empowers us to make the change we wish to see in the world. Despite the worst case scenario for humanity, God is still in control, and His plan to redeem the world at the end of days is still set in stone.

The book I’m writing is the one I’ve been working on for 4 1/2 years. I had the theme this whole time, but I did not have the plot, an exciting, compelling, gut-wrenching plot. And now I do. Be prepared to sit on the edge of your seat and take in the story of a woman who feels trapped, but might finally have a way out of her mess.

Although I’ve been posting weekly updates on my blog, I’m going to reserve Fridays for book reviews from other great authors. If you want to get weekly updates sent to your e-mail about how my book is doing, click here to subscribe to my newsletter! Thanks for coming along for me on this wild ride. (Note: If you want to subscribe to my blog, which includes content every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, click the little “Follow” button on the lower right-hand side of the page. This content will also be e-mailed to you as it is posted).

Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplash

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Book Update

I Could Never Write Like That!

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reading. By reading, I can learn from other writers’ techniques, and can try to figure out why they are published and I am not. Last week, I reread Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, not only because it was free on Kindle Unlimited, but also because JK Rowling is always referred to as the goal for all writers. (“I want to be the next JK Rowling”). Rereading this classic, I couldn’t help but fall in love again with the quirky characters, each and every one of them unique, and find myself wishing I had received that letter to Hogwarts when I was eleven (Ironically, I got saved when I turned twelve, so it was like God gave me a letter to embark on the adventure He had for me!).

While I read this book, however, I couldn’t help but feel a little sense of hopelessness. There was no way I could ever write like JK Rowling. I mean, seriously, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans? Such genius! They’ve even made a game out of it (Beanboozled) that we can enjoy! We feel part of the story through Rowling’s work by figuring out what house we’re in, and even after she’s finished writing the series, the fans are still creating scenarios of what could have happened at Hogwarts. Doesn’t everybody want to write a novel that captures the audience so much that readers are actively talking about it eleven years after the final book was published?

Alas, I’m no JK Rowling, and I never will be. I might as well put down my pen and stop writing altogether.

Unless, what I never was meant to be JK Rowling? What if God gave me a voice that I could use to bring hope to the world and glory to His name?

Even if I rewrote the Harry Potter series, my book would be a little different from the originals, not because I’m a bad writer, but because I’m a different writer. I have my own flavor I add to my writing that JK Rowling doesn’t. This idea reminds me that I’m not in competition with any writer. We both have a voice, a platform that we want to reach, and God is using both of us to accomplish the plans He has for us.

I scan even the Christian market at fiction authors that blow me away with their amazing talent. Francine Rivers? Who could recreate Redeeming Love? The reality is, I was never meant to recreate Redeeming Love. God has given me my own story to tell.

Although we writers are set free from the need to be the next JK Rowling or Francine Rivers, we still have a responsibility. We are still called to excellence. I might not have come up with earwax flavored jelly beans, invisibility cloaks, or a freakin’ sport played on broomsticks with like three different types of balls, but that does not mean I have to write mediocre ideas. I may use time travel, or a dystopian society, or tense conflict, to convey my message. Whatever I end up using, I will use it well. End of story.

So, if you’re a writer, keep writing! Don’t look at the work of the people next to you, unless you can appreciate it. Try to figure out what you’re good at, and then work from there. Think about the message that God has given you to share with the world, and brainstorm how you can best share that message with others. You may not be the next JK Rowling or Francine Rivers, but maybe over time people may want to be the next [enter your name here].

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

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Book Update

The “Fun” Part of Writing a Novel

When I went on the ReNEW writers retreat two weekends ago, I received some great feedback from friends that share my passion and can help me sharpen my vision. It was a pleasure to hear what everyone was working on, and the triumphs they’ve made this past year. Though, I wondered when it would be my turn to release my book and celebrate my accomplishments.

At lunch one day, I caught up with one of my friends from last year, who encouraged me to start my novel.

“How’s your book going?” she asked.

“It’s a train wreck,” I said.

“Oh, really? What’s wrong with it?”

I explained how I met with a literary agent and he gave me some good pointers, but I feel like my book is total trash.

“Okay, so, what’s wrong with it?”

I shrugged. “The setting doesn’t make sense.”

“So, basically the setting is your problem?”

With those words, it clicked. That was the only problem with my book! The characters were solid, the writing was legit, and the theme was evident. I just didn’t know where to put my little cherubs. What location, what time period, would serve them best, and help me get the message across?

Well, the literary agent I met with suggested Christian fantasy, because the island of Verdaria, where my characters are currently meeting, is a fictional country. I might have made it more complicated than it is. That’s a good story in and of itself. I wanted my main character to travel to Spain and found out some dark secrets from her past, but why does she have to leave Verdaria? Verdaria has some nasty secrets too! Tori can find out all she needs to know through this fantasy world, while encouraging the reader to explore a new land that has never been discovered by us in “reality.”

As you know, the temptation for me is to write a completely new book. I already have the idea for a new book, and I’m super excited about it, but I have to finish my current book first. My current book is not a train wreck. It’s not trash. I just have to be the master of my own world and mold a world for the theme to shine and the characters to thrive. Or not. Muahaha!

I told Lenny yesterday the plot for my new book. When he heard that the characters had the same name as my current manuscript, he stopped me mid-sentence. “What? You’re rewriting your book again? Stop it! It’s fine. Just finish it and make this book another one.”

My husband is an IT professional, not a writing professional, but God used his blatant honesty to open my eyes and see that I need to edit this thing! Did I mention that the literary agent I met with told me my book was good enough to be published? I don’t think that translates to “total trash.” That means I actually have a shot at having my book traditionally published! Hallelujah!

It is so much easier to write a whole new book than to fix the pieces of my current book. Freewriting is my favorite. I love telling stories, and stringing words together, even if they don’t make total sense. But editing is the fun part of writing. It’s using the mind that God has given me to figure out the best way to communicate a message, to use these words I love to bring out a compelling story, and to use my perseverance to grow my faith and increase my endurance. By self-editing, I have the privilege of reading my book before anyone else! It’s a free pre-release copy that I don’t have to order.

As I improve my self-editing ability, my writing ability will also improve. I’ll be making less mistakes as I learn what my common mistakes are. So, overall, self-editing is a win-win!

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Book Update

The Soothing Pain of Rejection

This past weekend on the reNEW writer’s retreat, I had hoped to tell everyone that my novel was finished and it was in the hands of a literary agent. However, two weeks before the retreat, I read a book called Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell that made me reconsider my whole plot. After talking with some friends, I realized that the only change that really needs to take place is the setting, but I still had a bend in my pride when I had to tell a literary agent I met that I wasn’t ready to send it in yet.

I’ve submitted my book to six literary agents. I know that the Christian fiction market is not doing too well, but I have a passion to help people see a relatable character through fiction to help them overcome their anxiety, find their purpose in life, and walk in their identity with Christ. I actually have three novel ideas that each branch from these topics. However, each time I receive a rejection from a literary agent, I wonder if God’s plan for me is to write this novel, or if it’s just my own dream.

Each time I submitted my book to another literary agent through e-mail, I prayed that God would lead me to the right literary agent, and that even if it didn’t work out, that the agent would have just enough spare time to tell me why he/she did not accept my proposal. Literary agents are typically very busy, so to expect a response from an agent is a tall order. However, as a writer trying to publish her first book, I need all the advice I can get. Of the six times I submitted my book, I heard back from two. The first one that rejected my manuscript has a blog that I follow, which has helped me tremendously as a writer.

The second agent who rejected my manuscript decided to give me some advice, which I greatly appreciated. He told me that the Christian fiction market wasn’t doing too well, so a lot of agents are steering clear of that. He also gave me advice about how to make my book better, and he encouraged me to keep attending conferences. Finally, he told me to keep pressing on, and God will lead me where He wants me to go. I am incredibly honored that this man who has very little time to spare took the time out to impart wisdom to a woman beginning her humble journey as a writer. It even looks like I got a word of blessing from him!

I share my personally journey of writing a book because, when I am a bestselling author of something, I want to look back and remember where I started. I want to encourage writers who aren’t there yet to keep going. Rejection is not the end of your story. God has given you a voice; use it to glorify Him.

Success is not defined by the end product. You may look at a book and think, “Well anyone can write a book.” However, you don’t realize the blood, sweat, and tears that went into writing it. Not everyone can write a book. It takes vulnerability, dedication, and insight.

I never want to be so famous/busy that I forget about the people that I met along the way. My why is to encourage women and the stories that God has given them. I don’t care how much money I make or what places I’m able to travel to; I never want to get to a place where I ignore or automate any experience I have with a woman who is desperate to share her story with me. I want each and every person I encounter to feel encouraged and to feel loved. If I’m making millions of dollars and I live in a fancy home with beautiful flowers and I have a social media team writing my tweets for me, I’ve lost my why, and I’ve failed at my goal.

Rejection hurts, but it’s not the end of my story. Even as I was writing this blog post, I had to remind myself that the rejection was not of me, but of my book. And as my friend encouraged me last week, the book may be great, but it might not be marketable at the time. It’s literally in God’s hands.

I say to myself what I say to you if you are struggling to fulfill your dreams: Don’t give up!

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

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Book Update

4 Myths & 1 Truth of Freelance Working From Home

Having worked as a freelance writer and editor now for three months, I can say I’m finally a novice at this! Much of freelance work and working from home is discipline and determination. I thank God that I have both of these gifts, or else I would never be able to do this. I also would never be able to do this without the loving support of my husband, Lenny, who encourages me every day to pursue my dreams.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve heard some myths about what it’s like to work from home. I have experience working in stores, offices, and schools, and working from home is a totally different experience. If you’re curious about what I do, check out what I’ve learned so far about being a work-from-home freelance writer and editor.

MYTH: You get to work in your pajamas all day

This is the statement I get most often from people when I tell them I work from home. While it is true that I can work in my pajamas all day, I don’t prefer to do so. Christy Wright writes in her book Business Boutique that we should dress for success. Like when you get ready for work to go to an office or a place away from your home, you need to establish a routine so that you can start your day with motivation. There are days when I feel like hanging out in my pajamas, but those days I don’t get anything done. If I equate those outfits to sleeping, I’m not thinking about working; I’m thinking about sleeping! I usually have my outfit picked out the day before, so that I could get dressed and go right to work.

MYTH: You’re lonely

I am an introvert, so I love being alone. I have to be intentional about leaving my house and spending time with friends and family, but quality time with loved ones has turned into a joy. I’m now seeing them because I want to, not because I have to since I work with them or because it’s another thing on my to-do list. I also want to take a moment and challenge all offices: I’ve heard many a story of people who show up to work and don’t speak to a single person all day. Sure, you’re surrounded by people, but you’re still lonely. To me, that’s worse than isolating myself in my home office. If you work in an office, reach out to someone new today. You never know what struggles people are carrying.

MYTH: You don’t get anything done

Studies produced from the last couple of years have shown that the average person only gets about 2 hours and 53 minutes of work done in an 8-hour work day, and that doesn’t include the hour-long commute most of us have to travel to and from work. So if I work 3 intentional hours from home, I’m working more than you, office worker. And since I’m my own boss, I can create my own schedule, which includes personal time. I make time to eat an hour-long lunch, go for a walk, clean the house (as needed), and read. I set a timer on my phone for one hour at a time, and then I put my phone on the other side of the room. I don’t do anything but edit, write, or read a book about writing until the timer goes off. When we’re intentional about our work, we get more done.

MYTH: You don’t make a lot of money

At first, this is true. When you work an office or retail job, you get a contract and a salary and benefits and all that. When you are starting your own business, you start with $0. When you put yourself on the internet and say, “Hey, I have a new business!” no one knows you who are. But when you apply those discipline techniques into your work, you will see more of a clientele over the next couple of months. As the Bible alludes to on multiple occasions, you reap what you sow. When you put work into your business, you will see the fruit of that work.

Truth: It is a fun adventure

I love what I do, so much. I have the opportunity to create my own schedule and workload. I create my own vacation time. It’s not that I don’t have a boss, but I am my own boss. There is a difference. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m closer than I was a few days ago. Working from home has been such a blessing, and I can’t wait to see how God grows the vision that he has given me.

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Book Update Marriage

Make Your Own Dream

When you first get married, you think that you will always agree with your husband. Let’s pop that bubble right now: You’re going to disagree, and it will probably be messy.

I can only speak from a woman’s perspective, but I was taught that my wedding day would be the greatest day of my life, where all my dreams will come true. But it wasn’t. Why? Because my dream wasn’t my husband’s dream. We both had a say in our wedding, so we mixed both my vision of what the perfect wedding would look like, and his, and formed our own special day. That vision required compromise from both of us.

As a couple, you will have to make a ton of decisions together. When are we getting married? Where are we going to live? When are we having kids? How are we going to raise our kids? Whether long-term or short-term, you will have to work together to make decisions on a regular basis.

Currently, our next major decision is buying a house. We still have a couple of months before we can afford a down payment, but we’re taking the time we’re waiting to figure out what we want before we buy the first house we see. We’re finding that our ideas of a dream house are both totally different. For example, I want a big backyard with a ton of lawn space, while Lenny wants to cover our front yard and backyard with cement and pavers! I grew up with a big backyard, so I’ve always imagined our kids running around a safe grassy space (Barefoot, probably, because who doesn’t love the feeling of grass on their bare feet?). Lenny, on the other hand, wants a lot of cars, so he wants to have enough driveway space for his possessions. I’m not saying my way is right and his way is wrong, or vice versa, but that we obviously have a different way of looking at our space.

How are we going to make this decision? Well, like every other decision, here is what we’ve committed to do as a couple:

  • Be clear. I could write a blog post alone about how to be clear. But before you could decide what you both want together, you have to decide what you both want individually. Like my example of finding our dream house, I generally want a space big enough for our future family, but specifically, I know that I want a big backyard, hardwood floors, and an open concept to our house. That’s pretty clear. And Lenny can work with that.
  • Make a list. I love lists! They help to make things even more clear, and they provide a visual. Write down everything you want in your dream house. I recommend making your lists in separate locations (you sitting on your couch and your husband sitting at your dining room table, for example) so you don’t influence each other’s preferences.
  • Circle similarities. Find a common ground. We both want a safe neighborhood and a good school district. We both have the same housing budget. We both have the same location desires. Those are our starting points. Those are non-negotiable. Everything else will have to be discussed.
  • Discuss everything else on the list. For whatever else is on your list, you both need to decide how necessary the other items are. How important is it for me to have a big backyard? If there is a park nearby, can I take my kids there to play instead of using our backyard space? What about for Lenny? If the current driveway is big enough, maybe we won’t need to completely get rid of the grass in the front yard. Regardless, you must talk about each point with your spouse and see how necessary it is.

If you can’t agree, don’t make a decision yet. We need to wait. Circumstances may change our mind over time. Maybe our kids will be allergic to grass, for example. Keep praying and wait it out. Don’t compromise your marriage for any decision. Whatever you do, make sure you put God first, your marriage second, your kids third, and everything and everyone else, last. You can disagree with me, but then we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Photo by Andre Revilo on Unsplash