Category: Encouragement

Categories
Marriage

Start with Me

A few weeks ago, I shared how we should start our years off on the same page as our spouse. We don’t have to be the same person, but we do have to make an effort to compromise and share goals with each other.

The best way to get on the same page as your spouse is through prayer. Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share how to pray for your marriage in specific circumstances. Before praying to change my spouse, I always want to examine my own heart for anything that needs to change in me.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us to look at our own lives before we judge others:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:1-5).

This is not to say that we should not judge others, but that we should do so only after making sure our conscious is clear. Applying this to marriage, if I judge Lenny for leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and yet I leave my dirty socks on the floor, I need to get my priorities in order. If you don’t leave your dirty socks on the floor, but it bothers you when your husband does, there is a way to bring it up to him. We will talk about that in the coming weeks.

This week, we want our prayer to be three simple words: Start with me. The temptation is to try controlling our spouses, but in reality, we simply cannot control anyone but ourselves. No matter how much you nag or complain or even pray, you cannot change your spouse’s behavior or attitude. But you can bring your concerns to God.

I personally like to journal, so if you’re looking for a nice format to bring your concerns before God in a written prayer, here are some tips:

Be honest with God about how you feel. It may actually bother you if your spouse leaves his dirty socks on the floor, to the point where you can’t even sleep at night. If so, take it to God first! Your husband may not understand why it bothers you, but God does. Write down exactly how that action your husband does makes you feel. You’ll be surprised about what comes up.

Ask God to bring up any past hurts that could contribute to why something bothers you about your spouse. Looking back at the feelings you wrote down, think about why your husband’s actions invoke these emotions in you. Maybe your little brother used to leave his socks on the floor and it would stink up the whole house. Maybe you have an obsession with keeping your house clean. Maybe you want to control your spouse because you’ve put him on a pedestal and you don’t want him to disappoint you. Whether or not you know the reason why his actions bother you, ask God to reveal the meaning behind your feelings to you. If needed, ask God to bring healing into these hurts so that you can see past the faults of your spouse.

Confess your sins to God. This really should be before the other points discussed, but usually when we pray about our marriage, we pray to try to change our spouses or our situations. Now that your guard is down, and you’ve realized that whatever problems you have in your marriage are also your responsibility, you can deal with your own sins.

Ask for (and received) forgiveness. God wants a relationship with us. We can check off the list of sins we’ve committed, but unless we know that God forgives us, and we accept His forgiveness, we can’t fully, intimately connect with God. Don’t rush through this. Take time to receive the grace and forgiveness of God in your life.

If your marriage has problems, you are not the problem, but neither is your spouse. Before you blame your spouse for the chaos in your life, make your prayer, “Start with me.” Whatever you want to see changed in your spouse, ask it for yourself as well.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

How Exercise Has Helped My Anxiety

At the beginning of this year, I made a commitment to lose weight that I’ve gained over the past couple of years. Since starting (and finishing!) the 21-Day Fix from Beachbody, I’ve been able to not only shed some pounds, but shed some bad habits as well.

My anxiety stems from emytophobia and agoraphobia. Although no one likes vomiting, I have such an intense fear of it that I avoid certain foods that could make my stomach hurt. I didn’t realize until I was required to fuel my body that I was also afraid of being full. I thought it meant I was sick, and it would scare me. But now that I’m burning calories and gaining muscle, I need to be full more than ever. And, thankfully, I’m learning to eat the right foods, rich in nutrients, so that I could have a satisfied tummy rather than a sick tummy.

Agoraphobia is the fear of being stuck somewhere. I get it when I’m at work, at a party, out with friends, you name it. Wherever I don’t feel in control is where I have anxiety. In an indirect way, working out has helped me to feel more in control. When I do anything out of my comfort zone, I think to myself, “If I can do a 30-minute workout this morning, I can do anything!” When I feel anxiety come on, I remember to breathe and get myself in a healthy mindset.

I’m not paid by Beachbody or anyone to say how I feel about the 21-Day Fix, but if you happen to be Google searching the program and stumble upon this post, my takeaway is that the workouts are awesome. Each week, I could feel and see myself getting stronger, so I knew it was working. However, the recommended nutrition plan didn’t work for me, as it didn’t allow me to eat enough calories. I ate a little extra carbs, and I used MyFitnessPal to keep track of my calories and nutrients. I also don’t plan on doing the Fix again for a couple of months, but most people get results by doing the program several times.

For those of you who want to incorporate exercise into your life in order to improve your physical, mental, and emotional health, here are some ways that have helped me stay on track.

Decide. You can start working out at any time, but no matter when you work out, you need to commit to a program. Whether you do a workout program, go to the gym, or follow a fitness instructor on YouTube, choose a program that works for you. You may think to yourself, “I’ll give it a try, and if I mess up, oh well.” Get that thinking out of your head! During the 21-Day Fix, I kept telling myself, “You can do this. It’s only three weeks.” I didn’t allow myself to quit because I knew that after the 21 days, I would see results, and I would be proud of myself for sticking with it.

Get an accountability partner/group. Over the summer, my friend would help me stay accountable to my running goals. There were days when I didn’t feel like working out, but I knew I had to text her to update her, and I honestly didn’t want to disappoint her! While working out, you’ll need people to encourage you. You also need people to tell you when you’re working yourself too hard and when you should take a break.

Do it first thing in the morning. I do my workout first thing in the morning because: a) I don’t have any excuses first thing in the morning; b) I usually work out on an empty stomach; c) It fuels me for the rest of the day. Set an alarm, roll out of bed, have your workout clothes folded next to your bed, suit up, and get started!

Push yourself, but don’t hurt yourself. I usually make excuses during my workouts because I have a screw in my elbow. Although I push myself beyond what I think I can do, that doesn’t mean I’m invincible! Push-ups are still hard, and using heavy weights can be a burden. If you’re finding yourself wondering when to push yourself, remember why you’re working out in the first place. You may want to lose weight, but the main goal is to take care of yourself.

The # 1 way that exercise has helped my anxiety is that it has changed my thought life. I catch myself thinking negative thoughts about my body, my personality, and my circumstances. That negative thinking is not going to get me the results I want. Instead, I think about what God says about me, and I look to Him to guide me for the rest of the day.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

I Didn’t Bring Anxiety Into 2019

Somebody needed to read this today! I was writing about a totally different topic, but I felt led to share this one. So, if you’re reading this, my message today is for you.

Every year, one of my plans is to overcome anxiety. And of course, every year, I still struggle with it. Yesterday, however, I was in my car, driving everywhere under the sun to complete my to-do list. I realized that, even though my schedule was full, I was still calm. I had a sense of peace even in the chaos.

As much as I wanted to declutter my life, the clutter wasn’t what caused the anxiety. My desire to play with it was.

Imagine you’re running on a trail. Anxiety is like a rabid, wild animal, foaming at the mouth and thrashing around in a circle. When anxiety crosses your path, you can either run from it, fight it, or let it attack you. That’s right: you get to choose whether it overwhelms you or not.

While in my car yesterday, I made a commitment not to bring anxiety into 2019. I wasn’t going to think about it, and I wasn’t going to let it stop me from crushing my goals and living my dreams. Of course, even since making that declaration, I have run into anxiety a couple of times. However, I didn’t entertain that crazy rabid dog like I normally would have.

So, what does it look like to leave your anxiety in 2019? Well, we’re in control of our minds. Only we (besides God) know what we think about. So, if anxiety creeps into your head, whether through a TV show or a friend’s comment or a memory, you get to decide not to think about it. Anxiety always begins with a thought.

Don’t entertain it. I know the attacks are strong, but don’t even think about it. You’re in control of your body. Whatever thought leads you to anxiety, let it go and get it out of your life.

Think of your brain like a cup. If you let anxiety fill your mind, it will overwhelm you, and you won’t see a way out of it. Choose not to fill your mind with anxiety. However, if your mind is empty (like they tell us to do in meditation), you’re left with an empty cup that has the potential to be filled with anxiety. Instead of leaving your cup empty, fill it with good things. Instead of thinking the worst about yourself, think about encouraging yourself.

More than any other motto or mantra or saying, God’s Word has kept my cup filled with good things. I have never felt more encouraged than knowing what God says about me. Here are some verses that give me peace in the midst of anxiety, especially since they demonstrate what God says about us. I wrote seven here, so choose one to focus on each day of the week.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”-1 Peter 5:7, NIV

“Set your mind on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life,appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”-Colossians 3:1-3

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”-Isaiah 41:10

“But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.”-Isaiah 43:1-3

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”-Colossians 1:13-14

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?” -Psalm 27:1

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
     In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?”-Psalm 56:3-4

Photo by bady qb on Unsplash

 

Categories
Marriage

Start this Year on the Same Page

I have plans. Lenny has plans. We have plans together. But which ones are we going to focus on in 2019?

I really like to plan. It’s how I handle waiting for God to move in our lives. One day last year, I was planning in my head, and I realized that my plans did not line up with our plans. I was setting my heart on what would have destroyed the plans that we created together.

Now, I can’t read Lenny’s thoughts, but he also plans so that he could feel a sense of control over the future. If he came to me and had an entire 30-year plan for the rest of our lives, without consulting me, I would be pretty upset. So, why do I do that with him?

Even if our plans never come to fruition, we shouldn’t set our hearts on things that conflict with our marriage. Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). If we keep hoping for what will never happen, our hope will always be deferred, and our hearts will be sick.

The best part, and the hardest part, of marriage is bringing two totally different beings together and having them survive under one roof. We each have grown up differently, so we don’t have the same worldviews and beliefs about certain aspects of life. However, just like every little boy and little girl, we have had dreams about each other and for each other since the day we knew we wanted to be married and have kids someday.

Although we surrendered our single lives at the altar, in a lot of ways, our past desires still come and threaten to tear us apart. We make New Year’s Resolutions that don’t even correlate with the resolutions we’ve made as a couple.

More than anything, we need to be on the same page as our spouses. We don’t have to completely surrender our dreams, but we need to compromise when our dreams are not the dreams of our spouse.

Lenny and I have charts on our refrigerator to remind ourselves of our goals. Our biggest goal right now is buying a house. We have a picture of a house on our refrigerator, and every time we put another $2K in savings, we color in another line of the house. It is so fun dreaming about what kind of house we’d like to have, and our non-negotiable necessities for our ideal living space. We also have a list of goals we’d like to accomplish in the next couple of years, things that we’ve decided we want to do as a couple.

To get on the same page as your spouse, start with prayer. Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share about ways you can pray for your spouse, and for your marriage in general. For now, pray that you and your spouse would have one mind. Thank God for each other and for the plans that He has for you. Ask for help to see His plan clearly.

Talk with your spouse about your own personal goals, and listen to him talk about his. As you talk together, you will begin to see how God has shaped both of you to work as a team. After that, make a list of goals that you’d like to accomplish, both individually and as a couple. Whether you are a visual person or not, it is necessary to make your goals known to each other. You can make a list, or a chart, or even record a song! I know several families that make mission statements and hang them up in their living rooms. Do whatever you have to do to make your goals visible and attainable.

Start 2019 on the same page as your spouse. If you’ve let yourself drift apart from your spouse, use this new year as an opportunity to forgive, ask for forgiveness, or resolve a silent conflict that has put a wedge between the two of you. Let’s see how God works in your marriage this year!

Photo by Fancycrave on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety Encouragement

My Word for 2019

Although I have focused on a word each year since I graduated from college, I haven’t started documenting my words until last year. My word for 2019 is commit, based on Psalm 37:5

“Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.”

I was going to explain to you what the word “commit” means in the original Hebrew, but it has a pretty obscure meaning. I’ll commit to doing more research on it, and I will get back to you!

First and foremost, I want to commit this year to God. Whenever I put Him first, He provides, guides, and blesses. I want Him with me in 2019!

When praying about this year, I realized that I mentally put my life on hold. In particular, my husband and I have been saving for a house. In 2018, we made incredible progress, but I spent a lot of time wishing that we had a house so that we could have parties or have more space. We have also pushed off going on vacation and other fancy adventures because we are saving every penny. For the majority of the year, I believed that my life wouldn’t start until we had a house.

The truth is: life is too short to wait to live. God gives us waiting seasons, but He doesn’t call us to stop living until we’re done waiting. Waiting in the Bible is active. People who waited prayed, worshiped, met with other believers, and kept living their lives. And that is what I intend to do in 2019.

The last couple of years have been crazy. I’ve been asking since 2014 for a chill year. You all know about my instant push into adulthood, from getting a full-time job to getting married and moving into two apartments in two years. This year may finally be my chill year! During this year, we can focus on living our lives to the fullest while sticking to our financial and spiritual goals.

In 2018, I decluttered all the stuff that wasn’t producing fruit in my life. In 2019, I am now holding onto what is producing fruit and making room for those ministries, relationships, and habits in my daily life. Yesterday, I wrote a list of what I wanted to commit to this year. I won’t be sharing that list in public, but now I have a vision for the rest of 2019. What I will share is what has inspired me to commit:

  • We are losing our connection with our friends and family through our busy schedules and our addiction to social media.
  • We are losing our ability to discipline ourselves and practice self-control due to the instant gratification offered by technology and quick commercial services.
  • We are losing our need for commitment because we have so many options. You don’t like your spouse? Get a divorce. You don’t like your family? Disown them. You don’t like your friends? Ghost them. According to the world, you can have a hundred superficial friendships in order to replace the few meaningful relationships.

I fully admit that I have fallen victim to each of these points I’ve mentioned:

  • Due to my busy schedule, I find it hard to make time for my friends and family. This year, I have committed to do a better job of keeping in touch with them, and even inviting them to our apartment. I don’t have to wait to get a house in order to see my friends.
  • Due to the difficulty of eating healthy and fitting a workout plan into my schedule, I have been very bad at sticking to my fitness goals. This year, I have committed to a workout plan, and I intend to keep that commitment until the end of the year.
  • Due to the pain of conflict and emotional abuse from others, it is difficult for me to keep lasting relationships with others. It is much easier for me to cut them out of my life than for me to deal with conflict or to go deep with them. This year, I have committed to be intentional about attending church, being present at my small group, and participating in the community where God has placed me. Although I have been committed to my husband, I have committed to dig deeper into our marriage and grow even closer together.

I am reminded of Jesus’ teaching about abiding in the vine. This past year, God has pruned the areas of my life that have not produced fruit. This new year, God is making space for me to produce more fruit and to flourish where He has planted me. I cannot wait to see what 2019 holds for me and my husband. We’re ready to commit!

What word has God placed on your heart for 2019?

Photo by Oscar Ivan Esquivel Arteaga on Unsplash

Categories
Encouragement

Best of 2018

I took this template from last year’s post to compare my progress from this year. I’m so thankful for what God has done through this blog and how I’ve grown as a writer. Thank you for all your support!

This year, people from fifty-five different countries have viewed my blog.  I’ve always said that I wanted to be a world traveler, and it seems that my writing is doing that for me!  Glory to God!  Here are the top ten countries that have viewed my blog in 2018:

  1. United States
  2. India
  3. Canada
  4. United Kingdom
  5. Thailand
  6. Ireland
  7. Australia
  8. South Africa
  9. Philippines
  10. Italy

If you are from those countries or are residing in any of those countries, thank you reading!  I pray that my blog has been able to help you overcome anxiety, put God first in your marriage, or dig deeper into His Word.

In terms of views, here are the top ten blog posts of 2018:

  1. Divorce (In Friendships) is Not an Option
    In my marriage, divorce is not an option. We don’t even joke about it. What would it look like for us to fight for our friendships instead of cutting them off?
  2. Struggles in Marriage
    Marriage is hard, but it’s not impossible. What do you do when you’re going through a difficult season with your spouse?
  3. Dealing with Your Feelings
    If you don’t control your feelings, your feelings will control you. Instead of ignoring your feelings, learn to deal with them.
  4. Your Spouse’s Spiritual Journey
    The Bible says not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Does that mean I should always be on the same level spiritually as my spouse?
  5. The Rings
    What do our wedding rings symbolize?
  6. What IS the True Meaning of Christmas?
    The true meaning of Christmas can get lost in the mix of everything. It’s really cool that this blog post was among my top read for the year, considering I just wrote it a couple of weeks ago!
  7. Travel is the Best Marriage Therapy In this post, I share an honest account of what happens when I travel with my husband!
  8. Decluttering and Anxiety (tie for 8th)
    My word that I focused on this year was “declutter,” and in this post, I share why.
  9. Do it Scared (tie for 8th)
    I read a book by Christy Wright that encouraged me to start my business even when I was scared. What is fear keeping you from doing?
  10. 1 Corinthians 13: Living up to the Vows
    We read this chapter of the Bible at our wedding. But what does it actually mean to live out these verses in our marriage each day?

Thanks again for helping make 2018 a great year!  I also want to say a special thank you to my ninety-two new followers. For those who have been following, please let me know in the comments how this blog has impacted you this year, or if you have any feedback about how I could improve my blog in 2019.

Honestly, my blog is where I want it to be now. I’ve got a pretty good schedule going, and my topics seem to be attracting people. My writing goals will most definitely involve my Christian dystopian novel, as well as promoting my business. In terms of my personal goals, my word for 2018 was “declutter,” and I cannot tell you how much cleaning I have done to answer this word! Not only have I donated and got rid of a bunch of stuff, but I’ve also decluttered my time, my diet, and my attitude. My apartment feels clean, and I’m at peace mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I’ll be sharing on Wednesday about my word for 2019!

Happy New Year, everyone!  May God bless you abundantly in 2019.

Categories
anxiety

No Holiday Blues Here!

I pray that you all had a lovely Christmas season!

This past week, I posted a lot about the holiday blues. I’m happy to report that I didn’t have the holiday blues this year! Remembering that the holiday season is about Christ and His redemptive work in our lives, remembering to include my husband in everything I do, and remembering that my family isn’t perfect, made everything better. Did people say the wrong thing (including myself)? Of course! Was everything perfect? Of course not! But God was glorified as I did whatever I could to honor Him, and we laughed at all the imperfect moments.

I’m keeping this post short today. My word for this year was declutter, and I have definitely made some extra progress this week. So, unfortunately, writing is taking a back seat while I clean up and get rid of the filth that has crept into our apartment in the couple of months we’ve been here!

Feel free to comment below of anything you want to read in the next couple of weeks.

Have a happy new year!

Photo by Jewel Mitchell on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

The Worst Kept Secret: Depression

I guest posted on Crystal Twaddell’s Made to Brave blog this week about depression during the holidays. Unfortunately, it is a sad reality that more people are depressed/suicidal/anxious during this time of the year than any other time. As I’ve said before, depression and anxiety go hand in hand. Anxiety is high energy fear of the future, while depression is low energy fear of the past.

It seems that it’s more socially acceptable to be anxious. After all, if you have a busy schedule to be anxious about, doesn’t that make you important or popular? But if you’re depressed, it means (supposedly) that you’re ungrateful for everything in your life, and no one wants to invite you to parties because you drag the mood down. I’m not downplaying the severity of anxiety, but I do believe we as a society talk about anxiety more than we talk about depression. It’s time to continue the conversation by discussing what happens when your anxiety disappears: it is often replaced with depression.

Anxiety is a large part of us. For some of us, it’s who we are. If you struggle with anxiety, can you even think of a time in your life when you weren’t anxious? Although we want to be set free from it, when we finally get better, we sometimes get worse. The hole that anxiety leaves in our lives is big and loud and aggravating. If we’re not anxious, then who are we?

That’s when depression kicks in. When we don’t have something to worry about, we get depressed. When our schedule isn’t filled to the brim, we get depressed. When we don’t have our usual five o’clock panic attack, we get depressed. Not because we miss our anxiety, but because we don’t know how to move forward. I know, because I’ve experienced this big time over the last couple of years.

During the holidays, we expect that Santa Claus and the smell of pine and gingerbread cookies and all the sugar will make of our problems go away. But they don’t. As a matter of fact, the holidays often make things worse for us. Some of us have to see family members we don’t like. Why do we have to sit across the dinner table from the people we haven’t spoken to in twenty years because of a fight that happened over a shovel? Some of us put our hope in gifts only to be sorely disappointed when we unwrap all the presents just to find our hearts as empty as ever. Did you really think that a new computer would make you feel more fulfilled?

With that logic, it’s no wonder that so many people kill themselves or die of natural causes during this time of year. Depression hangs in the air like the frost that comes out of our mouths when we’re whispering in the cold.

But depression is not the final word.

I encourage you this Christmas season to start by being honest. If you’re depressed, please get help. Reach out to a friend. Go to church. Even comment on this post. Be honest about how you feel and why you feel that way. Our emotions are not the truth, but they are an indication that something in your life needs to be fixed. It is essential for you to get the help and answers that you need in order to move on with your life and to enjoy the many blessings of the Christmas season.

This year, I feel like more than ever we’re trying to get back to the true meaning of Christmas, Jesus coming to Earth to bring us peace with God, with others, and with ourselves. If you focus on the other stuff, I cannot guarantee that you will feel peace at the end of the day. However, I am a living testimony that Jesus is the giver of life, not just eternal life when we die, but abundant life while we are still breathing. There have been times where I’ve wondered what the point of life is, and I’ve felt God’s peace saying that He has a purpose for me here. The same is true for you. You may feel depressed, hopeless, even meaningless, but God has a different story for you. The hope of Christmas is that you’re not alone, and that your life is worth living.

Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

How to Help Your Spouse Overcome the Holiday Blues

I had the privilege of guest blogging for Crystal Twaddell’s blog Made for Brave. I discussed the reality of the holiday blues and how we can focus on the true meaning of Christmas to combat these unmet expectations. Check it out this link when you have the chance!

A grieving process happens during the holidays, where traditions you had even last year don’t happen anymore. Loved ones pass away. Divorce separates us from those who are still alive but have chosen not to be part of the family. It is normal to have feelings of disappointment during the holidays.

In light of this topic, I wanted to discuss the value of communication. Lenny and I have carried traditions from both of our sides of the family that have clashed. We’ve been able to work through them every year because we’ve been able to communicate. Now that we are one, we have the opportunity to create new memories and new traditions with our new family (meaning the two of us). The question is: Which traditions from our childhood do we carry with us to our future traditions? Communication will help us find out answer.

However, as I mention in my guest post, there’s an expectation for everyone to be perfect and for there to be no negativity and no conflict. If anyone speaks his/her mind, Christmas is ruined! To be honest, I’ve probably “ruined” a couple of Christmases over the years. When you get married, you definitely step on the toes of your in-laws when it comes to the holidays. Both your side of the family and your spouse’s side of the family are trying to squeeze in time to see you, when you honestly just want to sit on your comfy couch, drink hot cocoa, and watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Talking to your spouse about your expectations can help you communicate your expectations to each side of the family. They won’t understand if you won’t teach them, and you can’t understand unless you process how you feel yourself.

The reality is, if you’re married, you and your spouse are a team. If you’re dreading the holidays, you are not alone. First of all, a lot of people experience stress, anxiety, and depression during this time of the year. In addition to that, your spouse can be a source of comfort for you.

Focusing on the true meaning of Christmas helps put things in perspective. We celebrate the fact that God is literally with us. He’s not in some distant land, wishing us the best. He’s right there in the trenches, fighting for us and giving us the strength to overcome. When we have that lens, everything else falls into place. New traditions are made. Family drama suddenly doesn’t matter anymore. And the depression is slowly, but surely, replaced by the good news of great joy that was proclaimed on that first Christmas day.

Photo by https://unsplash.com/@kadh

Categories
anxiety

My Song for the Season: “Here Comes Heaven”

Every year, I focus on a different aspect of Christmas. I’ll usually hear a song on the radio that sticks out to me and reminds me to be conscious of whatever God is teaching me. Listening to actual Christmas music about the birth of Christ and not about drinking hot cocoa and waiting for Santa Claus is so refreshing for my soul!

The last couple of years, God has put it on my heart to pay attention to the fact that Jesus came to us. Before the Christmas season even started, I listened to Elevation Worship’s new CD Hallelujah Here Below on Spotify. On my phone, if I’m listening to a particular CD, sometimes Spotify will throw in songs from the artist that are on a different album. When the song “Here Comes Heaven” came on, I thought it was from a Christmas album. But that’s the beauty of Christian music: when we have Christ in our hearts, it is Christmas every day. This song brought tears to my eyes when I first listened to it. I knew this is what God wanted to teach me this year.

Before Christ came to Earth, the people of God did not hear a prophecy or any word from the Lord for 400 years. For centuries, people waited for salvation and peace with God. They performed their rituals in hopes that they were pleasing God, waiting to hear from Him. Little did they know that He was preparing the way for Heaven to come to Earth.

In the ninth chapter of his book, Isaiah prophecies what it would be like for the Messiah to come to Earth:

“the people walking in darkness
    have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
    a light has dawned” (Isaiah 9:2, NIV).

When I was a kid and would have panic attacks, I would run to my parents and ask them to help me. Instead of addressing it, sometimes they would just tell me to think about something else. If I couldn’t sleep, my dad would tell me to dream of going to Florida on vacation. Just putting my attention on something else brought me such peace.

This Christmas season, I want to focus my attention on Christ. During the most depressing time of year, it is easy to get caught up in buying the right presents, filling our schedules with parties, and forcing ourselves to interact with family members we don’t like. But that’s not what Christmas is about. In fact, it’s not about us at all. Christmas is about Jesus coming to Earth, giving us peace with God, peace with others, and ultimately, peace with ourselves.

“Here Comes Heaven” is about how peace has finally come. We don’t have to strive anymore. We don’t have to wait anymore. While we shop and wait and traffic and wear our ugly Christmas sweaters to different events, we can trust that the work is finished. Jesus already took care of everything that needed to take place.

What is our response to Christ coming to Earth? Worship. Praise. Recognition. It is okay to enjoy different Christmas traditions, but at the end of the day, we need to remember the One who took away our grief, our confusion, and our enmity with God. We can now have all the fruits of the Spirit.

This year, consider what it means for Heaven to come to Earth in your life. While God has a global (universal!) perspective of His creation, He also values you and has a unique and specific plan for you. If Heaven came to you this year, what would that look like? How would your life be different? What fears wouldn’t make sense anymore? What mourning would be lifted from you? What wait will finally be over?

Photo by Sam Schooler on Unsplash