Categories
Marriage

Prayers for Eyes to See

Marriage is hard. It’s not impossible, and it’s definitely worthy of fighting for, but marriage really is a fight. It’s a fight against our own will, against our spouse’s idiosyncrasies, and against what society expects of us.

The hardest part of marriage is that you realize that your Prince Charming, or your Queen, is a human. A human who burps, says the wrong thing sometimes, and leaves his socks on the floor (in all seriousness, I left my socks on the floor yesterday!). A human who talks too much, nags sometimes, and leaves her hair ties everywhere.

We need to pray for eyes to see our spouses the way that God sees them.

God made man and woman in His image (Genesis 1:27). When God created us and put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, He called His creation “very good” (v. 31). In light of that knowledge, doesn’t that make our spouse a little more valuable in our eyes? But instead of focusing on that, we tend to focus on their flaws, slip-ups, and imperfections.

Since the Fall of man, it is true that we are not perfect. We have been stained by sin, and the image of God has been distorted in us. But by the grace of Jesus, and what He did for us on the cross 2,000 years ago, we now wear the righteousness of Christ when we accept Jesus as our Master. Now, when God looks at us, He looks at us with grace. We are no longer marred with sin in His eyes; instead, we are His precious, beloved children.

Are you viewing your spouse with grace, or with judgment? Are you nitpicking his every mistake, or are you choosing to look past his imperfections? Choose today to pray for eyes to see your spouse the way that God sees him.

If you’re not sure where to start, here are some Biblical tips to help you pray:

Search your own heart. In Matthew 7:1-5, Jesus tells us to remove the plank in our own eyes before we judge the speck in our brother’s eye. Before you say a word about the faults in your spouse, think about your own faults. As I mentioned before, God looks at you with grace. Forgive your spouse as the Lord has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32). When you realize how much God loves you and how much He has forgiven you, it makes it easier to overlook your spouse’s shortcomings.

Make a list of what you love about your spouse. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective. Your spouse may seem like a loser, but that’s only because you’re focusing on his flaws. Focus on what makes him a winner. Write down a list of things you love about your spouse. Think especially back to why you first married him. Thank God for this person that He has given you, the one who will be doing life with you from now until the day you die.

Surrender your idiosyncrasies to God. Admittedly, I’m a control freak, and I often want to fix everything about my spouse (truthfully, there isn’t much to fix!). But I’ve realized in the twenty-six months we’ve been married that I can’t fix him, nor can I control him. What I can control is how I respond to his shortcomings. If I find some flaws more difficult to overlook than others, I need to let them go and surrender them to God. You can tell God how you feel about your spouse, but ultimately, you need to get to a place where you put the issue in God’s hands.

Choose grace for your spouse. Grace is a choice, and it’s a choice more easily made when the God of grace is with you. In light of all that we have discussed, choose to have grace-colored glasses when you look at your spouse. You’ll find that whatever bothered you about him is no longer as apparent.

Photo by Bud Helisson on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

The Price of a Woman

This post may be inappropriate for those under age 18 due to the subtle mention of sexual language. Reader discretion is advised.

Yesterday was Shine a Light on Slavery Day, a day to promote the #EnditMovement (Did you wear your red X?). Today, I’m ready to share how I feel about human trafficking, not only in the United States, but all over the world.

For those who don’t know, human trafficking is “the action or practice of illegally transporting people from one country or area to another, typically for the purposes of forced labor or sexual exploitation” (Google Dictionary). Not only does modern day slavery involve sexual exploitation, but it also involves unfair wages for laborers, physical and emotional abuse, and a debt that can never be repaid. Young men come to America in hopes that they will have the money to support their families back home, but when they arrive, their new owners put them to intense work, often sexually abusing them and refusing to pay them. Young women are enticed by men who promise to give them a good life, only to sell them into prostitution and make their lives living nightmares.

After praying and doing my research, I realize that we all have a part to play as the body of Christ in tackling this issue. My part may not be traveling around the world, busting down brothel doors, rescuing innocent babies, and counseling victims of human trafficking. However, my part may be writing about it. God has given me the gift of writing, so I intend to use it for His glory, to further His Kingdom.

Think about it: there are 40 million people in slavery today around the world. Including in your backyard. Including in the sweat shops that make your clothes. Including in that sketchy hole-in-the-wall store around the corner from you. Like little ugly cockroaches, these pimps are everywhere, and if we continue not to do anything, they will multiply.

When we first hear about human trafficking, it may seem overwhelming. How can we stop such a dangerous industry? Well, as a writer, I hope to offer you some practical tips that you can start doing today.

At every For King and Country concert, Joel Smallbone talks about their song “Priceless.” He says that the human trafficking industry is all about supply and demand. As long as there are men who look at pornography and buy the services of a prostitute, there will always be a need for sexual exploitation. However, I also believe that women also gain from this. Obviously, there are women who look at pornography and buy the services of prostitutes (and there are also males who are sexually exploited), but I’m talking about a different type of satisfaction. Many of the women who are brought into this industry feel worthless. Sometimes, their families even sell them as sex slaves because they do not have the money to support them. As I mentioned before, boys will woo these women by buying them jewelry and cars and making them feel valuable.

So, what can we do today? Let’s start with the simplest (not the easiest) step, and then move on from there.

First of all, every woman needs to know her worth. From the time a girl is born, she needs to be told that she is priceless. No one can put a price on her. She is beautiful, she is loved, and she is enough. Start to see people as those who bear God’s image, not as those who can be sold for any dollar amount. That is the first step, but I believe it is the fundamental step to seeing any real change in this industry.

You can also pray. International Justice Mission sends out a prayer letter e-mail. Pray for victims all over the world, and pray about how God can use you. You can also give financially to the work that International Justice Mission and other organizations are doing. Some organizations even have short-term trips where you can see this evil first-hand (definitely prepare your heart for that!).

If you feel led to do something more tangible, such as breaking into that sketchy store and bringing the exploited workers into your home, I suggest that you read this brief page from Homeland Security. They encourage us to leave any suspicious activity to the authorities, but they do tell you what actions you can take to alert the authorities and what to look for.

For more information, I highly recommend Nina Belle’s book (she published an updated book which is found here. In addition, here is the website to Priceless the movie.

Photo by Tiko Giorgadze on Unsplash

Note: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Categories
anxiety

The Spirituality of God

As I’ve started working out on a regular basis, it has reminded me of God’s Spirit. I feel more in tune with God as I’m focusing on my breathing and specific muscle movement. Because there are so many spirits out there, I believe that most Christians have shied away from the spirituality of God. While there are demonic spirits that we should be careful not to entertain, we can also trust the Spirit of God to guide us, comfort us, encourage us, and strengthen us.

God isn’t just spiritual. Christianity isn’t just spirituality. As a matter of fact, in the Christian faith, we believe in the Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God is Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:17). Each of the above mentioned are equal in power, essence, and authority.

For most of us, the Person of the Trinity that is most relatable to us is the Son, Christ Jesus. This obviously makes sense, because Jesus came to Earth and walked among us. Humans have physically seen Jesus with their own eyes. They have heard Him speak, and He has humbled Himself to understand our weaknesses and struggles. Of course, His ultimate sacrifice and resurrection have also caused us to cling to Him for our salvation.

The Holy Spirit is Jesus and God the Father in Spirit form. As I explained before, He is the third “Part” of the Trinity, but He is not like God or a form of God. He is God. Before Jesus was crucified, He explained to His disciples that it was better for Him to leave than for Him to stay on the Earth: “But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you” (John 16:7, NIV). Forty days after Jesus ascended to Heaven, the promised Holy Spirit came to the world through tongues of fire (see Acts 1). Ever since Pentecost, the Holy Spirit has lived in and among those who have accepted Christ as their Savior, for the glory of God the Father.

In addition to God being Spirit, we are also spiritual beings. “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (Romans 8:16, NIV, emphasis added). God communicates to us (generally) through the Holy Spirit. If we are not filled with God’s Spirit, we can become spiritually dry. This can cause anxiety, depression, addiction, loneliness, and stress in our lives.

How do we know it’s the Holy Spirit speaking to us and not our flesh, or another spirit? God does not lie, and God does not contradict Himself. If the words you hear do not line up with God’s Word, you may be hearing something different. It will take time to learn how to hear God’s voice (whether audibly or in your heart), but if you read God’s Word, His voice will become more clear to you.

In the book of Ephesians, Paul tells us to keep in step with the Spirit (5:16-26). In light of this, how can we be more in tune with the Spirit of God? Here are some ways that help me to feel God’s presence on a regular basis:

  • prayer
  • meditation (of Scripture or a prayer)
  • silence
  • contemplative prayer (intently focusing on a phrase or Scripture)
  • dancing/creative movement
  • exercise
  • stretching
  • spending time outside
  • creativity (writing, drawing, painting, singing)
  • worship music

For more information about these topics, check out Francis Chan’s Forgotten God and Craig Groeschel’s message series called The Ghost.

Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Prayers for Unity in Your Marriage

Relationships are essential for our well-being. Studies show that people who have healthy relationships live longer and have an overall higher enjoyment of life. There’s no better relationship (besides God) to invest in than the relationship we have with our spouse.

I believe that there is an enemy of our souls that wants to keep us isolated. Jesus says that this enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Based on the fact that relationships help us live longer, he literally is killing us by destroying our relationships and stealing our joy.

When I fight with my husband, it’s usually about selfish stuff. When I get mad at my husband, I’m not thinking of him. I’m only thinking of myself. While it’s important to have needs and to express those needs, we also need to be aware that ultimately, we are a team.

When you pray for your marriage, after praying for yourself, it is imperative that we pray for our unity. That is what the enemy of our souls attacks the most. That is what society thinks is the most archaic part of our relationships. But it is also what we need in order to have a thriving marriage.

Obviously, you should pray this prayer with your spouse, but you can also pray it individually on behalf of your relationship.

Thank God for your marriage. Your marriage is a gift from God. Start your prayer by thanking God for the unity you have with your spouse. By thanking God, you not only acknowledge marriage as a gift from God, but you’re also declaring that there is unity in your marriage. Decide to put God first in your marriage, starting today (if you haven’t done so in the past).

Acknowledge the areas in your marriage where it is hard to have unity. Last week, we prayed for ourselves. Specifically, we discussed praying for what is hindering us from being the best husband/wife we can be to our spouse. Today, we can apply the same prayer to our unity as a couple. Where do you struggle with being a team? Do you try to take control of the finances? Do you parent your spouse when it’s time to do chores? Do you make decisions before consulting your spouse? Ask God to show you where you need improvement in your unity.

Surrender those areas to God. When you acknowledge these areas where you need improvement, give them over to God. Allow Him to help you grow in these areas. If it’s an area you can’t control (like outside relationships such as how your in-laws treat you or how loud your neighbors are), surrender that fully to God. You can’t control other people, but you can control how you respond.

Ask for protection. The enemy of our souls will try to attack your marriage when you least expect it, or when you’re most vulnerable. For me, I’m exhausted by ten o’clock at night, so of course, most of our fights happen at ten or eleven o’clock. Pray that God would protect you during those times, and be on your guard. Now, when we get snippy with each other, I check the time. Okay, it’s ten-thirty. Whatever our issue is, clearly has to do with the fact that we’re both tired.

Make goals together. Aside from putting God first, nothing brings you closer to your spouse than creating common goals. When you’re working toward the same goals, you tend to work together rather than competing.

If you comment below, I will pray for unity in your marriage as well! God bless 🙂

Photo by Jenna Jacobs on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

Intimacy with God

Intimacy with God is made possible through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit. We are able to draw near to God when we accept Jesus’ sacrifice as truth, because we now have the righteousness of Christ.

A couple of weeks ago, I read Tauren Wells’ devotional on the YouVersion app called “Known,” based on his song of the same title. He said something on Day 3 that has stuck with me for about a week: “Access to information and an invitation to intimacy are two very different things.” Basically, God knows everything about us, but He doesn’t just want to know about us; He wants to be invited into those details.

As much as I hate to admit it, anxiety reminds me to invite God into my day.

Yesterday at work, I had a mini panic attack where I felt nauseous and dizzy. I looked down at the plaque on my desk: “Pray more. Worry less.” Taking a few deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth, I prayed that God would meet me in the office.

I hate to admit that my anxiety reminds me to invite God into my day, because without anxiety, sometimes I forget to invite God into my day. I feel like I don’t need God unless something is wrong with me. But the point of intimacy with God is, God doesn’t just want us to need Him. He wants us to want Him.

I’ve struggled with writing about this topic for several reasons, the most prominent being that I struggle with this topic in general. I’m a practical, to-do list kind of person, and intimacy is just not that easy. I wish I could give you a step-by-step guide to help you grow in intimacy with God, but there is none. I wish I could tell you exactly what to do to have the perfect relationship with God, but we’re all different.

All I can tell you is to be.

Unless we micromanage the other relationships in our lives, we can’t expect that micromanaging our relationship with God will work. While we should be intentional about spending time with Him, instead of squeezing Him into our schedules, we shouldn’t think that if we follow a magic formula, we can expect God to act a certain way. God is faithful, but He does not fit into the box we’ve created.

So, the point of this post is to tell you that intimacy with God is important. We were created for relationship, and that’s starts with a relationship with God. God is the only One who can fully know us and love us. When humans fall short, God reaches into the depths of us and pulls out things we didn’t even know were in there!

In Christ, there are multiple ways to experience God. Whether you enjoy music, journaling, dancing, meeting with other believers, studying the Bible, or taking a long walk outside, God can meet you when you invite Him into what you love. (As a side note: All of those things are necessary! You still have to read the Bible if you want to encounter God, even if you don’t like it).

James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” While it’s not easy, it is simple. When we make time for God, when we invite Him into our day, He miraculously comes to meet us. Today, invite Him into your day, and begin that journey of intimacy with Him.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Start with Me

A few weeks ago, I shared how we should start our years off on the same page as our spouse. We don’t have to be the same person, but we do have to make an effort to compromise and share goals with each other.

The best way to get on the same page as your spouse is through prayer. Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share how to pray for your marriage in specific circumstances. Before praying to change my spouse, I always want to examine my own heart for anything that needs to change in me.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us to look at our own lives before we judge others:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:1-5).

This is not to say that we should not judge others, but that we should do so only after making sure our conscious is clear. Applying this to marriage, if I judge Lenny for leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and yet I leave my dirty socks on the floor, I need to get my priorities in order. If you don’t leave your dirty socks on the floor, but it bothers you when your husband does, there is a way to bring it up to him. We will talk about that in the coming weeks.

This week, we want our prayer to be three simple words: Start with me. The temptation is to try controlling our spouses, but in reality, we simply cannot control anyone but ourselves. No matter how much you nag or complain or even pray, you cannot change your spouse’s behavior or attitude. But you can bring your concerns to God.

I personally like to journal, so if you’re looking for a nice format to bring your concerns before God in a written prayer, here are some tips:

Be honest with God about how you feel. It may actually bother you if your spouse leaves his dirty socks on the floor, to the point where you can’t even sleep at night. If so, take it to God first! Your husband may not understand why it bothers you, but God does. Write down exactly how that action your husband does makes you feel. You’ll be surprised about what comes up.

Ask God to bring up any past hurts that could contribute to why something bothers you about your spouse. Looking back at the feelings you wrote down, think about why your husband’s actions invoke these emotions in you. Maybe your little brother used to leave his socks on the floor and it would stink up the whole house. Maybe you have an obsession with keeping your house clean. Maybe you want to control your spouse because you’ve put him on a pedestal and you don’t want him to disappoint you. Whether or not you know the reason why his actions bother you, ask God to reveal the meaning behind your feelings to you. If needed, ask God to bring healing into these hurts so that you can see past the faults of your spouse.

Confess your sins to God. This really should be before the other points discussed, but usually when we pray about our marriage, we pray to try to change our spouses or our situations. Now that your guard is down, and you’ve realized that whatever problems you have in your marriage are also your responsibility, you can deal with your own sins.

Ask for (and received) forgiveness. God wants a relationship with us. We can check off the list of sins we’ve committed, but unless we know that God forgives us, and we accept His forgiveness, we can’t fully, intimately connect with God. Don’t rush through this. Take time to receive the grace and forgiveness of God in your life.

If your marriage has problems, you are not the problem, but neither is your spouse. Before you blame your spouse for the chaos in your life, make your prayer, “Start with me.” Whatever you want to see changed in your spouse, ask it for yourself as well.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

How Exercise Has Helped My Anxiety

At the beginning of this year, I made a commitment to lose weight that I’ve gained over the past couple of years. Since starting (and finishing!) the 21-Day Fix from Beachbody, I’ve been able to not only shed some pounds, but shed some bad habits as well.

My anxiety stems from emytophobia and agoraphobia. Although no one likes vomiting, I have such an intense fear of it that I avoid certain foods that could make my stomach hurt. I didn’t realize until I was required to fuel my body that I was also afraid of being full. I thought it meant I was sick, and it would scare me. But now that I’m burning calories and gaining muscle, I need to be full more than ever. And, thankfully, I’m learning to eat the right foods, rich in nutrients, so that I could have a satisfied tummy rather than a sick tummy.

Agoraphobia is the fear of being stuck somewhere. I get it when I’m at work, at a party, out with friends, you name it. Wherever I don’t feel in control is where I have anxiety. In an indirect way, working out has helped me to feel more in control. When I do anything out of my comfort zone, I think to myself, “If I can do a 30-minute workout this morning, I can do anything!” When I feel anxiety come on, I remember to breathe and get myself in a healthy mindset.

I’m not paid by Beachbody or anyone to say how I feel about the 21-Day Fix, but if you happen to be Google searching the program and stumble upon this post, my takeaway is that the workouts are awesome. Each week, I could feel and see myself getting stronger, so I knew it was working. However, the recommended nutrition plan didn’t work for me, as it didn’t allow me to eat enough calories. I ate a little extra carbs, and I used MyFitnessPal to keep track of my calories and nutrients. I also don’t plan on doing the Fix again for a couple of months, but most people get results by doing the program several times.

For those of you who want to incorporate exercise into your life in order to improve your physical, mental, and emotional health, here are some ways that have helped me stay on track.

Decide. You can start working out at any time, but no matter when you work out, you need to commit to a program. Whether you do a workout program, go to the gym, or follow a fitness instructor on YouTube, choose a program that works for you. You may think to yourself, “I’ll give it a try, and if I mess up, oh well.” Get that thinking out of your head! During the 21-Day Fix, I kept telling myself, “You can do this. It’s only three weeks.” I didn’t allow myself to quit because I knew that after the 21 days, I would see results, and I would be proud of myself for sticking with it.

Get an accountability partner/group. Over the summer, my friend would help me stay accountable to my running goals. There were days when I didn’t feel like working out, but I knew I had to text her to update her, and I honestly didn’t want to disappoint her! While working out, you’ll need people to encourage you. You also need people to tell you when you’re working yourself too hard and when you should take a break.

Do it first thing in the morning. I do my workout first thing in the morning because: a) I don’t have any excuses first thing in the morning; b) I usually work out on an empty stomach; c) It fuels me for the rest of the day. Set an alarm, roll out of bed, have your workout clothes folded next to your bed, suit up, and get started!

Push yourself, but don’t hurt yourself. I usually make excuses during my workouts because I have a screw in my elbow. Although I push myself beyond what I think I can do, that doesn’t mean I’m invincible! Push-ups are still hard, and using heavy weights can be a burden. If you’re finding yourself wondering when to push yourself, remember why you’re working out in the first place. You may want to lose weight, but the main goal is to take care of yourself.

The # 1 way that exercise has helped my anxiety is that it has changed my thought life. I catch myself thinking negative thoughts about my body, my personality, and my circumstances. That negative thinking is not going to get me the results I want. Instead, I think about what God says about me, and I look to Him to guide me for the rest of the day.

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Categories
Books

A New Book Series for Children!

This post was #sponsoredbyfaithwords. I was not required to give a positive review, so my review is my honest take on this book series by Hannah C. Hall.

I’m so thankful for the opportunity from Faithwords to read this book for free! I’ve enjoyed the other books that they’ve recommended to me as well, such as Pull it Off by Julianna Zobrist, Get Weird by CJ Casciotta, You Are Enough by Mandy Hale, Beyond Blessed: God’s Perfect Plan for No Financial Stress by Robert Morris and Dead Sea Rising by Jerry B. Jenkins.

Since I am involved in children’s ministry at my church, and I am a kid at heart, when I saw that they need a review for a few new children’s books, I signed up right away. The series contains four books: God Made the World, God Made the Animals, God Made Me, and God Made Night and Day. Each book involves two brothers, Clive and Ian, who look at the world around them and talk about how God made it all. In God Made the World, they are having a picnic in the park. In God Made the Animals, they are at the zoo. In God Made Me, they are playing in their house. In God Made Night and Day, they are camping. I believe the books should be bought together, because they all tie into each other. I also read them in order of when they took place in the Bible, ending with God Made Me, as a reminder that, out of everything God made, we were His favorite thing. God made us special.

Hannah C. Hall is a Christian writer, mom, and worship pastor’s wife who has published other children’s books, such as Sunrise, Easter Surprise and God Bless You and Goodnight. This book series is part of a new imprint called JellyPress, which involves content from the creators of VeggieTales.

Before knowing anything about Hannah C. Hall and her experience, while reading the books, I could sense that the writing was influenced by television in some way. I could imagine the dialogue taking place on a television screen. During humorous parts, I could hear a tuba playing in the background (wom, wom!). It would also be fun to read this book in funny voices!

Since I have no kids of my own, and I volunteer with girls that are probably too old for this book, I asked my friend (who has three kids) to read the books to see what age and gender is appropriate for this book. After discussing the book, we found that it’s probably suitable for age 2-5, but a 6-year-old can also enjoy it. Both boys and girls would be interested in it.

My favorite part of the book series is at the end of each book, there’s a parent connect. Instead of just reading a nice story, you have the opportunity to make this real for your kids. They suggest going for walks in the park and looking at nature, or having special conversations with them about God and creation. I personally enjoy that aspect of the series, because it allows them to apply what they’ve learned to their everyday lives.

You can find out more information about the books and how to purchase them here (the link will bring you to God Made the World, but on the bottom of the page, under “Related Books,” you should see the other ones). Whether you have little kids of your own, you have kids in your family, or you want to buy them for your church to use in the preschool room, find out if these books are a good fit for your family!

 

Categories
anxiety

I Didn’t Bring Anxiety Into 2019

Somebody needed to read this today! I was writing about a totally different topic, but I felt led to share this one. So, if you’re reading this, my message today is for you.

Every year, one of my plans is to overcome anxiety. And of course, every year, I still struggle with it. Yesterday, however, I was in my car, driving everywhere under the sun to complete my to-do list. I realized that, even though my schedule was full, I was still calm. I had a sense of peace even in the chaos.

As much as I wanted to declutter my life, the clutter wasn’t what caused the anxiety. My desire to play with it was.

Imagine you’re running on a trail. Anxiety is like a rabid, wild animal, foaming at the mouth and thrashing around in a circle. When anxiety crosses your path, you can either run from it, fight it, or let it attack you. That’s right: you get to choose whether it overwhelms you or not.

While in my car yesterday, I made a commitment not to bring anxiety into 2019. I wasn’t going to think about it, and I wasn’t going to let it stop me from crushing my goals and living my dreams. Of course, even since making that declaration, I have run into anxiety a couple of times. However, I didn’t entertain that crazy rabid dog like I normally would have.

So, what does it look like to leave your anxiety in 2019? Well, we’re in control of our minds. Only we (besides God) know what we think about. So, if anxiety creeps into your head, whether through a TV show or a friend’s comment or a memory, you get to decide not to think about it. Anxiety always begins with a thought.

Don’t entertain it. I know the attacks are strong, but don’t even think about it. You’re in control of your body. Whatever thought leads you to anxiety, let it go and get it out of your life.

Think of your brain like a cup. If you let anxiety fill your mind, it will overwhelm you, and you won’t see a way out of it. Choose not to fill your mind with anxiety. However, if your mind is empty (like they tell us to do in meditation), you’re left with an empty cup that has the potential to be filled with anxiety. Instead of leaving your cup empty, fill it with good things. Instead of thinking the worst about yourself, think about encouraging yourself.

More than any other motto or mantra or saying, God’s Word has kept my cup filled with good things. I have never felt more encouraged than knowing what God says about me. Here are some verses that give me peace in the midst of anxiety, especially since they demonstrate what God says about us. I wrote seven here, so choose one to focus on each day of the week.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”-1 Peter 5:7, NIV

“Set your mind on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life,appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”-Colossians 3:1-3

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”-Isaiah 41:10

“But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.”-Isaiah 43:1-3

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”-Colossians 1:13-14

“The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?” -Psalm 27:1

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
     In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?”-Psalm 56:3-4

Photo by bady qb on Unsplash

 

Categories
Marriage

Start this Year on the Same Page

I have plans. Lenny has plans. We have plans together. But which ones are we going to focus on in 2019?

I really like to plan. It’s how I handle waiting for God to move in our lives. One day last year, I was planning in my head, and I realized that my plans did not line up with our plans. I was setting my heart on what would have destroyed the plans that we created together.

Now, I can’t read Lenny’s thoughts, but he also plans so that he could feel a sense of control over the future. If he came to me and had an entire 30-year plan for the rest of our lives, without consulting me, I would be pretty upset. So, why do I do that with him?

Even if our plans never come to fruition, we shouldn’t set our hearts on things that conflict with our marriage. Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). If we keep hoping for what will never happen, our hope will always be deferred, and our hearts will be sick.

The best part, and the hardest part, of marriage is bringing two totally different beings together and having them survive under one roof. We each have grown up differently, so we don’t have the same worldviews and beliefs about certain aspects of life. However, just like every little boy and little girl, we have had dreams about each other and for each other since the day we knew we wanted to be married and have kids someday.

Although we surrendered our single lives at the altar, in a lot of ways, our past desires still come and threaten to tear us apart. We make New Year’s Resolutions that don’t even correlate with the resolutions we’ve made as a couple.

More than anything, we need to be on the same page as our spouses. We don’t have to completely surrender our dreams, but we need to compromise when our dreams are not the dreams of our spouse.

Lenny and I have charts on our refrigerator to remind ourselves of our goals. Our biggest goal right now is buying a house. We have a picture of a house on our refrigerator, and every time we put another $2K in savings, we color in another line of the house. It is so fun dreaming about what kind of house we’d like to have, and our non-negotiable necessities for our ideal living space. We also have a list of goals we’d like to accomplish in the next couple of years, things that we’ve decided we want to do as a couple.

To get on the same page as your spouse, start with prayer. Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share about ways you can pray for your spouse, and for your marriage in general. For now, pray that you and your spouse would have one mind. Thank God for each other and for the plans that He has for you. Ask for help to see His plan clearly.

Talk with your spouse about your own personal goals, and listen to him talk about his. As you talk together, you will begin to see how God has shaped both of you to work as a team. After that, make a list of goals that you’d like to accomplish, both individually and as a couple. Whether you are a visual person or not, it is necessary to make your goals known to each other. You can make a list, or a chart, or even record a song! I know several families that make mission statements and hang them up in their living rooms. Do whatever you have to do to make your goals visible and attainable.

Start 2019 on the same page as your spouse. If you’ve let yourself drift apart from your spouse, use this new year as an opportunity to forgive, ask for forgiveness, or resolve a silent conflict that has put a wedge between the two of you. Let’s see how God works in your marriage this year!

Photo by Fancycrave on Unsplash