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Marriage

what about me?

Over the summer, we’ve seen so many of our friends and family go through various life events, including buying houses and having children. We are genuinely happy for them. We know some of their stories, and the hard work and grace it took to get to where they are today, and we are so proud of them and so thankful to God for His faithfulness. But, although I still don’t want these things yet, as strong as my contentment is, the temptation is still there to want what everyone else has.

What about me?

If you feel overlooked because of your waiting period, here are some ways that I’ve learned to find contentment in this season:

  • Think about what you have. Last week, I struggled with contentment, and with the belief that I’m not enough. I realized how many people have what I want, and how I just can’t seem to get there. When I prayed, God asked me to focus on what I have instead of what I don’t. Later, in the car, Lauren Daigle’s “You Say” came on the radio. The first line of the song? “I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough.” In that moment, God showed me that He sees me and He knows me. He asked me to focus on what I have, and what I have, no matter what season I am in, is His Presence. He is always with me, no matter what I have, no matter how I feel. Do you have the assurance of God’s continual presence? If you struggle with contentment, take some time to think about how God has been faithful to you.
  • Celebrate those around you who have what you want. You may feel like you’re not enough or you don’t have enough, but you have everything you need. Often, we need to step outside of ourselves and give ourselves a little pep talk. David did this all the time in the Psalms, when he would command his soul to bless the Lord (see, for example, Psalm 103). His soul didn’t feel like blessing the Lord all the time, but he knew it was the right thing to do. Sometimes, we have to fight to do the right thing. It is right to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. When your friend tells you good news about what is happening in her life, be happy for her, even if it is exactly what you wanted.
  • Talk about it and pray with a friend. Contentment truly is a fight in this progressive, ever-changing world. But we don’t have to fight alone. My husband has been my number-one partner in fighting against contentment. I often add my own fears to the situation, but my husband, the voice of reason, helps me see what is real and what is simply based on what’s inside my own head. Thankfully, I also have friends who understand me, who can also get inside my own head and my heart and feel what I am feeling. Those friends have prayed for me and have helped me love where I am in this season.

The final point is to remember your prayers. I had asked God for a chill year this year.  (Please, no major life events in 2019!). Witnessing how good and faithful He has been these last couple of years, I know He could give me a brand new house, an army of kids, and a super-successful business in the snap of His finger, but He was faithful to answer the deepest prayer of my heart: rest. Help me find meaningful rest. These last couple of years have been like a whirlwind, and I’ve barely had time to process it all. I realize that this season is so essential for me, because, when I do have all those other things, I will need to know how to find meaningful rest.

What have you been asking God for lately? What is truly the deepest desire of your heart? Remember what you prayed for, and believe that God is working on it!


Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

 

 

 

Categories
Marriage

Prayers for Unity in Your Marriage

Relationships are essential for our well-being. Studies show that people who have healthy relationships live longer and have an overall higher enjoyment of life. There’s no better relationship (besides God) to invest in than the relationship we have with our spouse.

I believe that there is an enemy of our souls that wants to keep us isolated. Jesus says that this enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Based on the fact that relationships help us live longer, he literally is killing us by destroying our relationships and stealing our joy.

When I fight with my husband, it’s usually about selfish stuff. When I get mad at my husband, I’m not thinking of him. I’m only thinking of myself. While it’s important to have needs and to express those needs, we also need to be aware that ultimately, we are a team.

When you pray for your marriage, after praying for yourself, it is imperative that we pray for our unity. That is what the enemy of our souls attacks the most. That is what society thinks is the most archaic part of our relationships. But it is also what we need in order to have a thriving marriage.

Obviously, you should pray this prayer with your spouse, but you can also pray it individually on behalf of your relationship.

Thank God for your marriage. Your marriage is a gift from God. Start your prayer by thanking God for the unity you have with your spouse. By thanking God, you not only acknowledge marriage as a gift from God, but you’re also declaring that there is unity in your marriage. Decide to put God first in your marriage, starting today (if you haven’t done so in the past).

Acknowledge the areas in your marriage where it is hard to have unity. Last week, we prayed for ourselves. Specifically, we discussed praying for what is hindering us from being the best husband/wife we can be to our spouse. Today, we can apply the same prayer to our unity as a couple. Where do you struggle with being a team? Do you try to take control of the finances? Do you parent your spouse when it’s time to do chores? Do you make decisions before consulting your spouse? Ask God to show you where you need improvement in your unity.

Surrender those areas to God. When you acknowledge these areas where you need improvement, give them over to God. Allow Him to help you grow in these areas. If it’s an area you can’t control (like outside relationships such as how your in-laws treat you or how loud your neighbors are), surrender that fully to God. You can’t control other people, but you can control how you respond.

Ask for protection. The enemy of our souls will try to attack your marriage when you least expect it, or when you’re most vulnerable. For me, I’m exhausted by ten o’clock at night, so of course, most of our fights happen at ten or eleven o’clock. Pray that God would protect you during those times, and be on your guard. Now, when we get snippy with each other, I check the time. Okay, it’s ten-thirty. Whatever our issue is, clearly has to do with the fact that we’re both tired.

Make goals together. Aside from putting God first, nothing brings you closer to your spouse than creating common goals. When you’re working toward the same goals, you tend to work together rather than competing.

If you comment below, I will pray for unity in your marriage as well! God bless 🙂


Photo by Jenna Jacobs on Unsplash