Tag: anxiety

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anxiety

Where Healing Begins

In 2010, Tenth Avenue released their album “The Light Meets the Dark,” featuring a list of songs that had gotten me through a rough season with anxiety in the summer of 2012. These are the lyrics of the chorus of the song “Healing Begins”:

This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark

I believe that you come to where you’re broken when you are surrounded by a great community who can support you while you are dealing with your feelings.

Naturally, I am an introvert. I prefer to be by myself most of the time. While it is healthy for me to journal and process my feelings on my own, I learned early on in my faith that I needed to be around people who can help affirm my identity and remind me that I am bigger than my darkest moment.

I praise God for the many communities that He had provided for me throughout the years. At age 12, I accepted Christ at the church I now attend because of the non-judgy attitude of the youth group. In college, I had friends on campus that would understand me at my core, because they loved me and pursued me enough to reach into those depths and ask me deep questions. In the summer of my sophomore year, I relied heavily on my college-aged friends from back home when I was dealing with loneliness and depression. When I went to Spain, my culture shock immediately dissipated when I met the godly group of young adults and teens who volunteered to take me under their wing. Because I’d had such an easily accessible community at Nyack College, it was difficult for me at first to branch out and make new friends when I graduated. However, God shortly provided a co-worker that would eat lunch with me and challenge me to grow.

I’ve found that at this time in my life, I truly need intentional community. The other communities that I had been a part of were handed to me on a silver platter. However, now, while I spend most of my days alone, I need to intentionally make time to be around my friends and family. Thank God for the three groups that I have joined this summer, where I can let my hair down and let people love me for me. As I write this, I’m sitting in the house of one of my best friends while she does schoolwork. Yesterday, I visited my sister, and we spent the day together while I did laundry and edited my novel. My husband and I also plan regular date nights each week.

Marriage does not make loneliness disappear. I want to be vulnerable with you and say that sometimes I feel lonely. Having a husband and (eventually) a house full of kids does not replace the need for Christ-centered, consistent community.

Community is not just sitting around the table and breathing the same air. Community is laughing together, crying together, listening to each other, and breathing life into each other. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you realize the importance of being together for the purpose of encouragement, support, and sharing experiences. While seasons change, pursue the people that fill you up, and know that they will walk with you in the best and worst days of your life.

If you’re like me and community does not come naturally to you, I would encourage you to find people in church, a gym, or in your own home. There are a ton of people around you who desire community, who have thousands of friends on social media but who feel disconnected from others. True connection is having the courage to reach deep into the hearts of those you love and pull out the good, the bad, and the ugly. Often, the hard part is allowing them to do that to you as well. However, as you open up and risk, you will grow more and more comfortable over time.

Matthew 18:20 says that Jesus is in the midst of a group of two or three who gather in His name. The same God that sheds light on Scripture in your locked bedroom is present in your meetings with friends and family who want to lift you up.

Here are some questions to get you thinking about how to have godly community and experience the healing that God has for you:

Who can you ask to be your friend today?
How can you invest more in the friendships you already have?
What is keeping you from truly opening up to your friends and family?

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anxiety

Dealing with Your Feelings

Since anxiety is a feeling, I don’t like dealing with the negative emotions that surface in my heart. While God has given me the ability to feel anger, sadness, and fear, I don’t like to admit when I have those feelings. Little do I realize on a daily basis that my anxiety stems from the bottling up of my emotions, until that uncontrolled energy explodes out from within me in the form of a panic attack, an angered outrage, or isolation.

From childhood until the present day, I’ve enjoyed writing in my journal. It has always been a way for me to process my emotions without being judged, criticized, or punished. I would write about everything, from my daily activities to the things that made me angry, sad, afraid, happy, surprised, or excited. I looked forward, I dreamed, I looked back, and I remembered. If you want to really know me, better than I know myself sometimes, read my journals.

I didn’t realize how important it was for me to journal until I wasn’t able to do so a few years ago. When life gets busy, all of your priorities and hobbies get pushed to the side. I replaced the outpouring of my heart with the hardening of it as I would fight work anxiety, do my homework, or walk from class to class. If journaling wasn’t required for a few of my classes, I would have never journaled until I would graduate college. Then, what would it take for another obligation to fill that empty space again?

You see, when I got to college, I realized that my emotions were scary. I held on to a lot of bitterness and hurt from my childhood. I didn’t realize that my life wasn’t normal until I went off to college and met “normal” people, people from homes that were peaceful and encouraging. I didn’t want to talk about my feelings to anyone for fear of judgment. I couldn’t talk to my friends, because they couldn’t possibly understand. I couldn’t talk to my family, because I didn’t want to bring up old memories between us. I feared tension, I feared conflict, and so I did whatever it took to avoid the feelings of anger, sadness, and fear in my heart.

I would run from my emotions like I was an Olympic athlete competing in the 800m. Instead of facing my anger, I would fill my day with busy activities. Instead of dealing with my sadness, I would work out. Instead of dealing with my fear, I would isolate myself. As long as I kept the smile on my face, no one had to know the pain that I carried inside of me.

Jesus says in Matthew 15 that it is not what goes into you that is unclean (meaning food), but what comes out of you (meaning bitterness, hatred, and hypocrisy). Modern day psychologists have described humans as a filled cup. If the cup is filled with anger, that’s what is going to come out if it’s tipped. If the cup is filled with love and compassion, that’s what’s going to come out. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I couldn’t hide from these feelings, even if I tried. Eventually, trials would come, and my raw emotion would be exposed.

My raw emotion did come out, through panic attacks. I wasn’t able to control myself around anyone. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and exposed when I knew I couldn’t hide anymore.

Eventually, I asked to see a counselor, and I reached out to some of my friends for support. Slowly, I learned how to journal again, and I learned how to ask for help from a healthy community. I still have feelings of anger, sadness, and fear, but I’ve learned to control them by remembering that they are indications and not dictations about my life.

Emotions may seem scary, but they don’t have to be. If you don’t learn how to control your emotions, your emotions will control you. Make time to rest and process how you are feeling these days. If you have been feeling extra anxious lately, take some time to journal and figure out why. When you read through the pages of your journal, after you’ve calmed down, you can have better insight into your emotions. You can also call up a friend or family member and ask if you can vent (ask first, though!). Making a daily habit out of journaling or talking to a trusted friend can help you better control your emotions, and take action when you need to make reconciliation with someone.

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anxiety

Does the Word “Busy” Make You Sick, Too?

I’ve been so busy these past few years (yes, years), that the word “busy” makes me want to gag. “Oh, Elisabeth, I know you’re busy, but…” is how so many of my friends and family have approached a conversation with me lately. It wasn’t until recently that I learned that I have control over my schedule, and I can schedule periods of rest.

Like so many of you, I feel guilty when I take a break. My husband works forty hours a week, drives through an hour of traffic each way every day, and comes home with only a few hours to rest before bed. We are also both involved in ministries at church, we have family events, and we obviously want to spend time together. So, it seems natural to have a little bit of guilt to carve out a nap in the middle of the day while my husband can’t do that.

However, like all of us have unique triggers to our anxiety, we also have unique limits to our energy and unique requirements for rest. Studies say that young adults need 7-9 hours of sleep each night. You might only need 7 hours and 15 minutes, but I might need 8 hours and 45 minutes. (I haven’t quite figured out that magic number yet, but when I do, I will let you know).

God has been making it abundantly clear that I need to rest these days. I’ve been trying to develop a workout routine, start my own business, keep the house clean, maintain a blog, write a novel, and have somewhat of a social life. If you don’t work out regularly (like me), you might not know that it is important to take rest days so that your body’s muscles can recover from the intensity of lifting weights, running, or contorting into shapes that you didn’t think were possible. As a writer, I need mental and emotional rest days so I can recover from the emotional outpouring of my heart and mind into a story for all to read. When I’m editing, I also need to emotionally recover from the remorse I feel for the characters when a story ends. Practically, rest days are suggested, but biblically, rest days are required.

When you struggle with anxiety, it’s hard to know when to rest. Sometimes, even when you stop working, your mind still races a mile a minute. So, let’s talk about what it means to rest and when you should make time to rest.

God commands us to have a Sabbath rest, which is modeled after the fact that He rested on the seventh day of creation. The Sabbath shows a satisfaction in creation. God saw all that He created, and it was very good, so He rested. He didn’t have to do any more work. We should have that same mindset. If we are working 24/7 and are actually doing well at what we do, we should make time to rest, to celebrate what we’ve already done and to anticipate what we are going to do. The Sabbath was also established in the Old Testament to remind Israel that they are no longer slaves of Egypt. God had set them free, so the only master they needed to serve was Him. If you feel like a slave to your commitments, maybe you need to take time to rest.

God set up this time for us as a symbol of our need for rest. But what does it mean to rest? Like me, there are some people who cannot sit still without falling asleep. Some people have to go out for a run or draw or read a book. I believe that rest is making time for you to recharge, however you do that. Pastors Pete Scazzero and Rich Vallodas of New Life Fellowship in Queens have a video that helped me learn the idea of biblical Sabbath, and what you should do on the day that you designate to be your Sabbath.

Although we should physically rest from our jobs, our chores, and our workouts, true rest is not just a ceasing of activity; it is ultimately having inner peace. When we cease from the mundane projects that we do each day, we are reminded that our identity is not found in these things. God says that we are enough, just as we are, because of all the work that He has done for us. Do you believe that God is enough for you? Then take time to rest this week. You don’t have time? Make time. You can skip the meeting. You can call a babysitter. You can show up a few hours late to that party. Make time for you to recharge, reflect, and celebrate what God is doing in your life.

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anxiety

What Triggers You?

My tree nut allergy has done me more harm than good. When I go to a restaurant, I have to tell the server that I have a nut allergy. I’ve been to some restaurants that won’t even serve me because their food has been “produced in a factory that may contain nuts.” The fact that I have to explain my allergy to everyone makes me roll my eyes in disgust.

Despite the inconvenience of people misunderstanding, I could die if I didn’t explain this to people and inadvertently ate nuts. My throat could close up and I could lose my ability to breathe.

Did you know that anxiety also has allergies? They’re called triggers.

Triggers are objects, actions, or behaviors that can stir up anxiety in an individual. Our triggers are unique to our different childhood experiences. What is anxiety inducing for me may be no sweat for you, and vice versa. According to Psych Central, triggers “set off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of his/her original trauma.”

The level of anxiety that each trigger brings also depends on the level of trauma an individual has faced in his/her lifetime. Victims of sexual/physical abuse or near death experiences may have triggers that cause them to pass out or break into a panic. Others may be easily angered by a specific topic or the way a person behaves. Regardless of what you faced as a child or young adult, you don’t need to have had a traumatic experience for you to have triggers.

Unlike allergies, triggers can be eliminated in your life. However, it requires a bit of self-analysis and patience. Journaling can help you identify your triggers. Take time to think about what makes you uncontrollably angry, sad, or anxious. Dr. Margaret Paul suggests considering when the triggers started. Thinking back to what started the trigger could cause you to have a panic attack, so remember to take deep breaths and stay grounded. Remember that what happened in the past isn’t happening in this moment. If this is too difficult for you to do on your own without having anxiety, ask a trusted friend or a counselor to help you calm down as you process.

When you’ve identified your triggers, consider how you typically respond. Do you tense up? Do you feel faint? Do you have explosive anger? Do you get really quiet? The next step is to decide how you’re going to handle it differently. The traumatic experience that happened to you is in the past, and your present does not need to be defined by your past. You will need to be patient with yourself as you learn how to act differently. Take some deep breaths and practice healthy coping mechanisms to get back on track. You can’t always control how you’re going to react, but focus on what you can control: your breathing, counting backwards from 10, or squeezing a stress ball.

As a Christian, I believe that God can heal your pain by filling that hole that the trauma left. If you were in a near death experience, maybe God wants to show you how He saved your life. If you were abused, maybe God wants to show you His perfect love. If you were abandoned, maybe God wants to show you how He will never leave you or forsake you. Since people have had different experiences, this may seem like a slap in the face that I’m simplifying these Biblical truths like a spiritual band-aid over your deep-rooted pain. However, I’ve seen God heal people from severe trauma, whether it took a few hours or a few decades.

I can’t speak for God and say how He was specifically with you in the midst of your trauma. However, I can say that Romans 8:28 says that God works all things for the good of those who love Him. That does not mean that we have a carefree life, but it means that God can even make a bad situation good. God can redeem your story so that you can help others and you can experience joy again.

God can meet you in your pain. Let Him redeem your story. Be patient with yourself as you heal from the triggers that your past experiences have caused you. It will take time, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Categories
anxiety

Do it Scared

I am excited to announce that I am now a freelance writer and editor! This dream was birthed in me at the young age of six, when I realized I could write books for kids who loved reading, just like me. Thank you to the people in college who told me I should major in English (I didn’t listen), and to my family and friends for supporting me in this transition. While I will be writing several books and waiting for them to be selected for publication, I will also be offering writing and editing services to those who want to make their writing dreams a reality.

Although this has been a dream of mine, I woke up this morning with a sense of fear. What if I put myself out there and nobody bites? What if people don’t like me? What if they find out that I’m not perfect? The good-girl Christian in me says, “God has a plan! It’ll all work out in the end! Don’t be afraid!” We tend to be scared of being scared, so we put a spiritual band-aid on our fear and call it a day. However, I’m still afraid! I’ve never done this before. Fear is a natural response to the unknown.

To help me launch my career, my husband bought me a copy of the book Business Boutique by Christy Wright, a professional who helps women start their own businesses doing what they love. In one of the beginning chapters of the book, she wrote about fear in starting your own business. Fear is normal, and everyone experiences fear at one point or another. Her solution? “We just do it scared” (15).

As I re-read through Chapter 2, “Fear is Normal,” Wright only mentions that phrase a few times. However, after reading all 19 chapters of her book, I can clearly remember that phrase as my takeaway. If we only did things when we weren’t afraid, we would miss out on a lot of life. I’m actually more afraid of settling than neglecting my dreams. What is more fearful to you, being stuck in a job that isn’t your passion for the rest of your life, or taking a leap of faith and risking it all to pursue your dreams? Doesn’t the latter option sound like a movie?

A few people in my audience struggle with anxiety like me. I used to get scared just going out to eat with friends. You may get scared going to parties or traveling or visiting certain places or even not having plans. Going on retreats as a teenager, the staff members would tell us to aim for our yellow zone. The green zone is our comfort zone, and the red zone is our debilitating fear. While high ropes courses might be easy as pie for you, they make me nauseous and dizzy; I literally can’t move when I get to a certain height. Doing something in your yellow zone is doing something that stretches you just enough not to break you.

If you feel God calling you to do something in your red zone, which is quite possible, have grace with yourself to take baby steps there. If you are scared of publishing a book about your traumatic past, start off small by sharing your story with a trusted friend or a small group of people. No matter what you do, don’t let fear keep you from doing what you love and what you feel God is calling you to do.

Here are some quotes that I found when searching the phrase “Do it scared.” May they inspire you to pursue your passion, even if you have to do it scared:

“If you’re afraid, don’t do it. If you’re doing it, don’t be afraid!”-Genghis Khan

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

“What you feel doesn’t matter in the end; it’s what you do that makes you brave.” – Andre Agassi

“Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the absence of self.” – Erwin McManus

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”-Marianne Williamson

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anxiety

What You Can Control

I woke up this morning feeling nauseous, in pain, and tired. This meant that I could not do the things that I planned to do today (you know, like finally submit my book to a literary agent!). I had everything set up to submit, and all I had to do was do a final run-through and e-mail it. Unfortunately, all I could do was stay in bed and hold my stomach, as if holding my stomach would somehow relieve the pain. I couldn’t control my health, and I couldn’t control my schedule, but I could control the food I ate and the books I read while lying down.

I heard a sermon a few years ago where the pastor told us that we are responsible for our bodies and our choices. I was taken aback by that comment. I couldn’t control my body! I have anxiety. Anxiety controls me.

Or does it?

One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. That means that God empowers us to control ourselves. Addiction may be tough to beat, but God gives us the strength and the willpower to stop. The same is true for anxiety. Anxiety wants you to think that you don’t have control, but the reality is, you do have control.

When life gets overwhelming, it feels like I’m not in control. However, since one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control, that means we have a responsibility for something, and that is ourselves. We are in control of the self when we practice self-control.

I may not be able to control what people say to me, but I can control how I respond. I may not be able to control my noisy neighbors (do your kids have to scream at the top of their lungs in the middle of the day?), but I can control my approach to the situation. I may not be able to control people’s expectations of me, but I can control how I spend my time and the choices I make with my habits and activities.

When anxiety strikes, you have a choice. It may feel like you can’t breathe, but you have a choice to take deep breaths and to practice positive self-talk. You may have a stomachache and feel like you’re going to throw up, but you have a choice to pray and to take your mind off of the pain. My therapist told it to me this way, “No one ever died from a panic attack.” Remember that your anxiety will pass. Don’t do anything to harm yourself physically or to talk down to yourself. Find healthy coping mechanisms such as memorizing Scripture, journaling, deep breathing, or talking it out with someone. Over time, your anxiety attacks will be more manageable.

In the long run, take a look at your life and see what is causing you anxiety. Is it your job, family, living situation, health, free time, relationships, or something else? Any and all of these things can cause us stress. Before trying to take control, identify which of these aspects of your life you can control and which you cannot. You can switch jobs, set boundaries with your family, move out, take care of your body, plan activities that fuel you rather than drain you, and pray about how to approach the conflicts in your life.

Unfortunately, sometimes life isn’t always that easy. Money isn’t always in our favor, families aren’t always that understanding, and medical conditions may cause difficulties in maintaining a healthy weight or working out efficiently. As my friend used to say in high school, “Do your best, and let God do the rest.” Focus on what you can control, and surrender to God what you can’t control. Do what you can control well, and trust God to do His part in your life.

Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. We are not able to control ourselves without God’s help. Pray today for wisdom in how to control yourself, your anxiety, and your life.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13

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Categories
anxiety

Clutter Wears You Out

We covered in the last post the idea that clutter negatively affects your mental health; it adds unnecessary stress to your life and causes a loss of concentration and an increase in mental fatigue. In this post, we will discuss the effects of clutter on your physical health.

Your Muscles and Your Breathing

It takes an unnecessary amount of physical labor to move your stuff out of the way while you look for the stuff you actually need. I just spent an hour replacing our cardboard boxes of junk with plastic bins of junk, and then lifting them off the ground to get the junk out of the way. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, sort of. This junk has affected my arms, all the muscles that are involved in lifting and moving items (cue medical friends!) and of course my breathing since it takes a lot of energy to move these things. Although you rarely think of it, clutter physically makes you tired.

In terms of time clutter, when we pack up our schedules, we have to run from one activity to the other. Since I live further away from where I work now, I feel the urge to speed when I’m cruising from home to work, and then work to whatever night activities I have. Instead of giving 100% to one activity, we spread ourselves thin and give 10% to ten activities. I pack my schedules so that I have no time to breathe in between activities.

(Hey, let me pause this for a second and give YOU a minute to breathe. As I wrote that word before, I took in a deep breath, and it felt so good! Deep breath IN through your nose…hold it…deep breath OUT through your mouth).

Anyway…financial clutter also physically exhausts you because you have to work harder to get more money. That could mean working overtime and getting less sleep. That could mean driving from one job to the next day in and day out. That could mean more physical labor at work to build up your weekly inventory quota. Taking the time to budget could seriously give you more energy and make you more productive.

Decluttering and Physical Health

You can turn the decluttering process into a workout! I know my friends that work out at the gym are totally cringing right now. However, I don’t have time or money to work out at the gym, so I have to get creative when it comes to making a workout that actually works. Think about the physical activity it takes to move your stuff from one place to the next. Do some squats and pick up some boxes. Do some bicep curls and throw your unwanted items into boxes. Any amount of clutter you can purge will allow you to have more energy to do what you love, including working out at the gym.

Physical Health and Anxiety

Since my blog is for those who suffer with anxiety, it is also fit to mention that exercise helps with anxiety by allowing you to have a positive outlet to releasing the negative energy that anxiety brings. By having more energy and feeling more awake, your mind will be alert and will not be subject to the schemes of the enemy of our souls. Next week, we will discuss this topic more as we discover how decluttering improves our spiritual health.

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anxiety

Stop Beating Yourself Up

The title of this post may be all you needed to hear. Listen up: it is doing you no good to beat yourself up. Take a look at my story and know that you are not alone in self-criticism.

I am my own worst critic. Most of the time, I’m not satisfied with myself. I wrestle between if I’m smart enough, pretty enough, hygienic enough, financially stable enough, prosperous enough…and ultimately, good enough. I compare myself to everyone. It’s a game. As long as I’m smarter than you, or prettier than you, or better with my finances with you, then I’m confident. But as long as there are people who are better than me at something, I beat myself up until I’m the best.

You wonder why I feel overwhelmed.

My anxiety is stemmed from the fact that I don’t feel confident in myself. I am constantly in fear of failure. I am constantly afraid that people will judge me. I am constantly in fear that whatever crack in my perfection someone notices will ruin our relationship forever.

I feel that way, because all of those things have happened to me. I have failed. I have been judged. I have been abandoned when all the plates I’ve been juggling fall to the ground in one sweep.

I have become my own worst critic so I can be better than others at criticizing myself.

No matter how good I get at anything, I’m never going to be better than Jesus. And do you know what Jesus says about me? That I’m worth dying for. That I’m enough. That God can use me to accomplish great things. Why would Jesus waste His time dying for me if I wasn’t good enough? Why would God create a plan that involved me if I wasn’t good enough?

God’s grace is bigger than our own worst criticism.

First John 3:20 says: “If our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” When we feel like we are not good enough, what God says is mightier than what we say about ourselves. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows that we make mistakes all the time. He knows that we are not perfect. He knows we have been broken by our past. But He chooses not to look at our shortcomings but to edify us according to His word.

Do you choose to listen to the One who has never abandoned you (God), or the one who has left you out in the cold (the world)?

Make a conscious effort to stop beating yourself up, even with your panic attacks. I know it may be considered shameful to have a panic attack because you are not in control and honestly it’s embarrassing. But when panic strikes, think about what God says about you. If you don’t know what God says about you, spend some time reading the Bible, which is filled with God’s promises for His people. By His people, I mean those who have fully trusted in Christ as Savior.

Here are some Bible verses compiled by Neil Anderson that affirm who we are in Christ. Read them out loud and let God transform your way of thinking. Accept His grace into your life instead of the world’s condemnation.

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Categories
anxiety

When to Go and When to Stay

As a young person (under the age of 30), a huge source of anxiety has come from when to take the next step.  When do I get married?  When do I move?  When do I take that job?  When do I have children?  The instant gratification world that we live in answers all these questions with right now.  Do what makes you happy right now, no matter what it costs.

However, when we follow God, we have to ask ourselves, and God, the question: What does God want for my life?

Our default answer with God is to wait.  Most of the time, in the Bible, God asks His people to wait.  Joseph had to wait 40 years before his childhood dream of ruling would come to fruition.  The Israelites had to wait 400-plus years to be set free from their slavery in Egypt.  Paul the apostle had to learn and grow for several years before he began his missionary journey, and he had to wait several years in jail for God to be glorified in his situation.

Despite these valuable stories, I believe that some people use “the call to wait” as an excuse not to have the faith and the courage to move forward.  We think that just because we are comfortable that we are in God’s plan for our lives.  But behind closed doors, we worry that God will call us out of our comfortable lives and allow us to experience inconvenience.

There is a time and a season for everything. We are called to enjoy each season but to trust God with every season. We cannot wait and say that we are currently enjoying this season and do not want to move on to the next one. We cannot tell God that it is inconvenient to move right now. God gives us peace, and when we don’t feel His peace, we know it’s time to change something.

And once we change according to his will, he gives us peace, and that peace is beautiful.

Through much of this blog, I have gone through several transitions in jobs, living situations, and relationship status.  Leaving what I can tolerate for something that can fulfill me is so difficult, but it has always been worth it.  I do not regret agreeing to my husband’s marriage proposal six months after knowing him.  I do not regret taking a job offer from my church the day I was sitting in my kitchen eating cereal, thinking I was going to be teaching English overseas in the near future.  I do not regret every opportunity God has pushed me to make a decision quickly, because when God leads me, I feel His peace.  When He pushes me and I don’t move, I feel a burden in my soul that cannot be quenched.

The Bible also includes times when God pushes His people to move.  God told Abraham, without warning, to leave his family behind and start a new legacy on Earth.  God spoke to Gideon to take an Israelite army against the Midianites, as Gideon was hiding from the enemy in a cave.  God told Cornelius to talk to Peter so that he could receive the gospel and find healing.  If any of those people had waited, God wouldn’t have been glorified in those situations in the way that He intended.

How do you know when it’s time to go and it’s time to stay? Well, I could give you practical tips. I could tell you step-by-step ways to know. But God doesn’t work like that. Sometimes his plan doesn’t make sense.  Seek God’s peace through reading His word and sharing your feelings with other people.  When you know it is time to move, you will know.  When it is not time to move, you will know that as well.  Whether God calls you to stay or to go, trust Him in the process.

Photo by Bryan Minear on Unsplash

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Book Update

Book Update: You Can Help!

This book has been a journey that has taken a lot longer than the perfectionist in me has expected!  I have finally finished editing my third rewrite.  The editing involved taking the 80,000 words I had written and seeing what fit into the plot of my book, what needed to be cut, and what needed more development.  I have a bullet point list of what I need to develop.

Would you like to help me?

My book is about a woman who struggles with anxiety.  I know my own struggle with anxiety, but I don’t want the main character’s experience to be one-sided.  My goal for this book is to have a familiar character that encourages those who struggle with anxiety that they are not alone.  If you have an anxiety disorder of any kind, click here to fill out a special form for you.  As the form explains, your answers are confidential and your name will not be shared anywhere.  Please answer as honestly as possible, and if you want to speak further with me about it, please provide your e-mail address so that I can reach out to you.  Your story will make my character more relatable.

I’ve had experience helping others with anxiety, and I believe this experience will help me create an environment for my character to find hope in the midst of anxiety.  If you are a therapist and/or have experience with helping people with anxiety, click here to fill out a special form for you.  Please do not include anyone’s names or relationship to you so that you don’t not break the confidentiality.  Your name will not be shared.  Please answer as honestly as possible, and if you want to speak further with me about it, please provide your e-mail address so that I can reach out to you.

I’m posting this on a Tuesday.  I am going to give you all until Saturday to fill out the form if you are interested.

Now that I’ve taken such a long time to write this book, I want to make sure I do it right.  I want to put more research into the book, to show that I have fully invested in this story.  I want to find just the right setting, just the right character development, and just the right ending to comfort a hurting soul.

Thank you for your help in my endeavor, whether through prayer, encouragement, or providing feedback.

Photo by Trent Erwin on Unsplash