Tag: Christ

Categories
anxiety

“If you can’t love me at my worst…”

“…You don’t deserve me at my best.” This saying was popular when I was in high school. In the days before memes, we had AIM icons, away messages, and MySpace graphics. The context in which this phrase was used when I was younger is for friends and relationships. It’s hard being a teenager. If you are having a bad day, people don’t want to hang out with you. But when you’re all dolled up and you have a smile on your face, everyone wants to be your friend.

After I did a quick Google search, I realized that this phrase is still popular. The memes aren’t quite appropriate for this blog post, but you can make the decision for yourself how funny they are!

Unfortunately, there have been people in my life who could not love me at my worst. I’m not perfect, but I enjoy helping people, almost to a fault, when they are broken. But when it was my turn to be depressed, bitter, anxious, and broken, they decided I was too much work. When I needed them most, they turned their backs on me.

Then, when I would figure it out (generally on my own, but sometimes with friends and family I had allowed to speak into my life), suddenly they were back in the picture. And guess what? They would want me to fix their problems. When they would hear about my struggle with depression, anxiety, etc., they would act shocked. “Oh no! Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you reach out to me? I would’ve helped you.”

Yeah, right.

It turns out that, while there were some good people in my life who have supported me through tough times, there is only one person in my life who has truly loved me at my worst.

Before I knew Jesus, I literally was at my worst. Anxiety and chaos defined me. Sure, I looked happy, but that was just my shell. I was sitting in silence, plotting my next move, preparing myself for the unknown. As a result, I wanted nothing to do with God. But, as Romans 5:8 says, Jesus died for me anyway, knowing that I didn’t love Him, so that He could give me a better life.

I wish I could say that I came to God on my own, but His Spirit literally dragged me by the heels to youth group one night. And that’s where I found love. That’s where I found acceptance. That’s where I found Him.

And that’s when I knew that Jesus truly loved me at my worst.

My youth pastor told me that Jesus wanted to be my best friend. I have never heard it so eloquently put since then, probably because those were the words that the Holy Spirit used to tug at my heart and invite me into a relationship with Jesus. Although I couldn’t phrase it this way at the time, in that moment, God was inviting me to have a different life. He was inviting me to surrender my old way of doing things so that I could do things His way.

He was willing to give me His best. Now, only He is worthy of my best.

What does it look like to give God my best? For me, it’s being intentional about spending time with Him every day. It’s inviting Him into every aspect of my life, from the time I wake up to the time my head hits the pillow. It’s honoring Him at work. It’s writing the books He has called me to write. It’s treating my friends and family with respect.

When I’m at my worst, God still loves me. I’ve learned that my friends and family cannot fully love me at my worst, because they are all broken. We are all broken. But we can try. We can encourage each other, and point to the One who truly loves us at our worst, and wants to give us our best.

What are you willing to give Him in exchange?

Photo by Tiago Bandeira on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

appreciating your spouse

In the midst of all we have to do, it’s often tempting to neglect the aspects of your spouse that you appreciate. It’s even possible to complain about the things your spouse isn’t doing (like helping you clean up the house or making enough money or letting you have “me” time). But we all need a reminder that our spouses are from God, ordained by God to walk through life with us and share in our ups and downs. We need to make time to appreciate what our spouses do on a regular basis, as thanks to God for blessing us with our life partners.

This past weekend, I asked my friends on Facebook one thing they appreciated about their spouses. Multiple people struggled to share just one thing they appreciated about their spouses. It warms my heart to see people who have been married ranging from one year to multiple decades find a plethora of reasons to thank their spouses for what they do. In a world that is so quick to complain, there are people out there who have the good things their spouses do at the forefront of their minds and tongues.

I also appreciate through that there was no competition, comparison, or griping (talking about what our spouses don’t do for us, or complaining that our spouses aren’t like another person’s). We truly came together, as a community, to affirm each other’s positive comments. Positivity and encouragement can truly help us see our spouses as the blessings that they are. Focusing on what we appreciate our spouse, as one woman commented, can even help us love our spouses even more.

The original post is here.

  • I appreciate that my spouse always helps out around the house in every area! Laundry, cooking, cleaning and more ❤️
  • My husband helps readily and willingly without complaint and I’m so grateful!
  • She respects and recognizes me for taking responsibility as a husband and father,
  • She likes me and that makes my day
  • She wakes up early every day of the week and prepares me a complete and delicious breakfast
  • She’s a good administrator of our financial resources
  • She did not have an outside job so she could raise our two kids from when they were born up to middle school
  • She has fully supported me all these years as I serve the Lord in different ministries
  • He knows how to bring out the best in me
  • He loves me for who I am
  • He supports me and believes in me
  • He is my best friend
  • I can tell him anything without judgement
  • He makes me laugh even at myself when I need to
  • He makes me coffee every morning which starts off my day feeling loved
  • Having someone who can challenge me on anything but from a place of love
  • Someone who knows who I really am so after a long day of “saving face,” I can tell him how I was really feeling
  • Carrying the load of children together
  • Being able to deal with financial burdens together
  • My favorite part of the day is getting into bed and just laying there both of us being able to understand how exhausted each other is but still wanting to talk about the day and then argue over who is getting up to go put the fan on 🙂
  • I appreciate that [my husband] volunteers his time in helping others. I had only known [him] a short time when I saw how he was involved in helping in his church with the young people, various church committees, involved with community service groups. Because of his willingness to help others both of our children also enjoy helping others. [We] have the same motto we live by:”Happiness is thinking of others first,yourself last and God all the time.”
  • I am truly a blessed woman to have been given such a wonderful man. He’s my anchor that allows me to soar. He is an incredible listener and wise with his words. He cherishes me. I appreciate everything he does for me and his family. He recognizes God first and honors all He does on our lives. His prayers are mighty and powerful and the praise reports are incredible to hear. I appreciate so many things about him, it cannot be limited to just one. 💖
  • Is caring and understanding beyond anything I thought humanly possible
  • Encourages me everyday to remember to include God is all matters.
  • Is undefinably the most honest and transparent man I could ever ask for
  • Brings smile to my face and a shoulder to cry on when I need it the most
  • Being each other’s best friend 💕
  • Praying for one another
  • Lo que mas me gusta de el, es que siempre da gracias a Dios cuando lo bendice de alguna manera. [What I love most about him, is that he always gives thanks to God for every blessing].
  • Many of these wonderful comments are echoed sentiments for many of our marriages including ours. But first and foremost is putting God first in all that we do. HE is the rock that’s gets us through bad times and good times. I love my husband, my best friend who has helped me grow in my journey and reminds me to love the Lord first then him. I do the same. It’s an incredible journey indeed ! 💕
  • My husband and I are United and focused on running our race together for Christ
    ❤❤
  • I’m a rule follower so here’s my one thing unique to my hubby- he keeps me on task!
  • My husband lets me be me. He doesn’t try to change me or put me down.
  • His willingness to stand by me through thick and thin. To continue loving me faults and all. And to agree to disagree when needed.
  • The most important thing is I’m so grateful He is a man of God. He leads our family and me to know Christ more and leads our family in a Godly manner.
  • I love that he is an incredible father to our kids. He is the fun one and cares for our children in ways I never will be able to.
  • He often “talks me off the ledge” in life. There are many times I get inside my head and feel overwhelmed or lose perspective of the blessings God has given us. Instead of scolding me or making me feel worse about it he helps talk me through it, reminding me to focus on Christ and taking a step back to see it really isn’t as bad as I think it is.
  • I appreciate that he lets me be who I am unapologetically. I do not have to put on airs, make excuses, try harder, or be someone else. He lets me be me, and loves me gracefully.
  • She carries the burden of our family (3 kids and me) very well

As you read through these comments, maybe you’ll resonate with one of them. Does your spouse do the same? Today, stop and thank your spouse for doing what he or she does. It doesn’t take much to make someone’s day, all you have to do is thank them.

Photo by Cerys Lowe on Unsplash

Categories
Throwback Thursday

Like a Wife (#tbt to Preparing for Marriage)

Last year, I shared what I learned while preparing for my wedding.  Well, my husband and I have enjoyed nine months of wedded bliss since I posted this.  Honestly, we’re still waiting for it to become true that “it goes by fast.”  We feel like we’ve been married for our entire lives, even though it’s only been a few months.  I’m not sure what that means, but we’re loving it!

The post I wrote last year showed up on my Facebook memories about a week ago.  Right around that time, my husband and I had started a Bible plan on YouVersion called “Your Home Matters.”  Up until the very end of the plan (where they used the wrong verse to make a point), my husband and I appreciated the encouragement that this plan offers to have a more intentional view of marriage.  God has a bigger plan for us as a couple, and that plan is much bigger than ourselves.

On our wedding day, we made a vow to love each other and be faithful to each other until death separates us.  Just as Christ is faithful to us, we are called to be faithful to one another.  Just as Christ sacrificed His life for us, we are to consider each other more important than ourselves.  Just as the Holy Spirit helps us live as God wants us to live, we are called to help each other and guide each other to the Truth.

And although I say “just as,” God is way more faithful than we can ever be; when we fall short, God does not.  We can praise God when our spouses show us faithfulness, and we can praise God when our spouses miss the mark.

I challenged you to put just as much effort into preparing for the second coming of Christ as you do into planning for a wedding (obviously, you should put more effort into preparing for the second coming of Christ, but we have to start somewhere!).  My new challenge is to put just as much effort, if not more, into your relationship with Christ as you do in investing in your marriage.  In addition to this, we should aim to emulate our love for Christ in our marriage.

Here’s how my husband and I invest in our marriage:

  • Dedicated date time: We make time together an absolute priority.  No matter what we do together, we make sure our phones are off, our minds are focused, and our conversations are centered around improving our relationship.
  • Praying together: Every night before bed, we turn to each other and say a prayer for our marriage, our jobs, and our walks with Christ.  Hearing my husband’s heart for me and his desire for my well-being grows me closer to him.
  • Open communication: Whenever we have a problem, we talk about it right away.  We constantly work to make communication more open and understandable between the two of us.

Unfortunately, when my husband and I die, our marriage will be over.  However, my relationship with Jesus will always be.  Jesus is forever faithful to me, and He has granted me eternal life with Him.  So, considering I’m going to be spending the rest of forever with Jesus, I should be constantly trying to learn more about Him.

Here are some ways that we can grow closer to Christ in our daily lives:

  • Dedicated devotional time: I have to admit, marriage makes it more difficult to find a set time to spend with the Lord.  I usually listen to worship music on my drive to work, or I’ll read the Bible for a few minutes in the morning before I leave. Whatever amount of time you can give to God will be fruitful.
  • Prayer: Prayer is open communication to God.  Be honest with Him.  Even if you’re struggling to get out of bed, wishing you didn’t have work…share your heart with God.  Then, listen to what He says.  Read the Bible (which records what God has said and continues to speak to us today).  Be still and wait patiently for His peace.
  • Community: We were never meant to do life alone.  God created us for community.  When we spend time with people who have surrendered their lives to Christ and seek to encourage us, we can appreciate how God works in and through them as well.  This allows us to give glory to God for His power to redeem.

The Bible says that in the last days, the Church will be presented to Christ as a bride in fine linen (Revelation 19:7-8).  Are you ready for the ultimate marriage ceremony?

Photo by Thomas Curryer on Unsplash