Tag: fiction

Categories
Marriage

Busy seasons in your marriage

I haven’t been posting nearly as often as I should. I’ve been working on my novel. Lately, I’ve discovered that I’m really good at writing words, but what my readers want is quality words strung together into a beautiful narrative. And hey, by the way, I know I normally write non-fiction on here, but if you also read fiction, can you let me know? I’m trying to figure out how to best serve my audience.

In addition to this, my husband has also been working a tremendous amount of overtime hours. Of course I am thankful for this. My husband’s company has been very gracious in letting him work overtime and making sure he’s putting money away toward our down-payment-for-a-house fund. And my husband has done a great job in showing up, being present at his job, and giving his best.

Our marriage is not suffering. We don’t have any problems. But we have big-kid responsibilities now, like paying rent (and taking care of our apartment), buying a house, starting a family, and (gulp) paying taxes!

If you’re in a busy season like we are, don’t be afraid. Your marriage is not in jeopardy. You just need to be intentional with your spouse about the time you spend together and the love in your marriage. Here are some points to remember!

This is a season. Before we even started dating, Lenny and I had conversations about our dream jobs and what it would look like for us to pursue them. At the time, we were in great jobs, we had no idea that Lenny would be doing IT for a law firm and I would be working in the editing field. But even at the beginning, we made it clear to each other that we would never let our jobs come before each other. We would never spend so many hours in the office that our marriage or our future kids suffer. And while I was tempted for a while to fear that it was happening, that we were placing our jobs above our marriage, I realize that it is just a season. We are busy now, but we won’t always be. We are saving for a house, and we are building wealth for our future. We’re living that DINK (Dual Income No Kids) life. And, quite honestly, staring googly eyed at each other isn’t going to pay the bills. We need to be busy right now, in this season, so that we can survive and enjoy the blessings God has given us. If you’re in a busy season, do not let it become a lifestyle. If you have years where you are busy, maybe you need to sit down and reevaluate your priorities.

Your marriage isn’t taking a back seat. If I really sat down and thought about why I write, it’s because I enjoy writing. My writing doesn’t necessarily help my husband, but it helps me express myself in a way that makes me happy. Happy wife, happy life. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is start working on my manuscript. No questions asked. But I get up before my husband is awake, so that when he is awake, I can make sure he has what he needs to get to work, and I make sure I can give him my attention. While my husband loves his job, he’s not working just because he likes to work. He’s also working because he wants to fund our future, because he believes in my dream as a writer and he’s helping me be able to make time for that, while also saving for a house. No matter what your job is, remember that you are working to support you and your spouse. May that fuel you to work your best and be intentional at your job.

Make time for each other. No matter how busy we are, Lenny and I always have one meal together each day. We sit down and read the Bible and a book on marriage. One day this week, when he was gone for more than twelve hours, he wasn’t hungry, so we just sat on the couch and watched a TV show. I know all the marriage counselors frown at couples watching TV together, but…You try talking to your spouse when he’s been working ten hours straight, and then had to sit in an hour of traffic. At that point, he just wants to decompress and sit with me. And I’m happy to do that. Besides, if you know me, you know that I talk through the whole show anyway! (Blame the writer in me that sees every plot hole and can’t sit still until it’s resolved!). Since my love language is quality time, it is essential for us to have at least an hour a day to sit together and talk.

What do you do when you and your spouse are in a busy season?

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Categories
Books

All the Feels of “Redeeming Love”

*WARNING: If you have PTSD due to sexual abuse, this post may be difficult for you to read. Proceed with caution.

If, for some reason, your emotions have been on the fritz, try reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It’s not like I have any trouble tapping into my emotions, but after reading this book, I’m pretty sure I’ve managed to feel every single emotion that the human heart could fathom.

Although this book was published in 1997, several people recommended this book to me because they know I’m writing Christian fiction. Each one of them told me it was a “good” book. Good? You all tricked me! It was exceptionally wonderful and altogether awful wrapped in five-hundred pages of an emotional roller coaster. But yeah, I guess you can describe that as “good.”

Some people did warn me that it was heavy, and I thank you for that. I just about lost my cookies on page 185.

Redeeming Love tells the story of Sarah, who was later named Angel when she was sold into prostitution at the age of eight. She finds herself in California during the California Gold Rush about ten years later, as the highest-prized prostitute in the Pair-a-Dice brothel. Through her experience dealing with customers and horrible bosses, she learns that she has no worth except what she could give to men, and that men want nothing from her except for her body. All that would change when Michael Hosea walks into her life and makes her his wife.

Without spoiling too much, the book is an example of the book of Hosea from the Bible. In that story, Hosea marries a prostitute as a means to show the people of Israel God’s love for them. When I look at Redeeming Love in that light, my heart breaks. It forces me to examine my own sin and pride, and remember how many times I have run from God and how many times I probably will still run from Him. I couldn’t help but think while reading this book that my heart is not any softer than Angel’s is.

The key in this book is the relentless love of Michael, who seeks in every moment to demonstrate God’s love to his wife. Even when she runs away, even when she commits the worst sins against him and exposes her past sins to him, he does not give up. When it is difficult for him, he turns to God and begs Him for help. His example of redeeming love helps to heal her soul. It is also obvious that God’s love is compelling him to love her, so that Angel could see the love of God and put her faith in Him.

Whenever I read a book, I like to think of my overall takeaway. So far, in the last month, two books from decades ago have made their way into my lap. Why am I reading A Handmaid’s Tale when it was written in the ’80s? Why am I reading Redeeming Love when it was written in the late ’90s? Well, I truly believe that God is challenging me to look at how much we have (or haven’t) progressed. In the ’80s, some people believed that they were one step away from a dystopia. Do we still feel that way, and if so, what can we do to change that?

Redeeming Love reminds me not to give up on those I love, even when they push me away, even when they do everything imaginable to make me angry. It also reminds me to continue to support and pray for ministries that are rescuing men, women, and children from prostitution around the world. I believe we have come a long way to show women their true worth, but I also believe that we have a long way to go. May God reveal His redeeming love to us, and help us to share that love with those around us. Amen.

Categories
Book Update

Book Update: My Journey at reNEW

Nine thousand, one hundred, and seventeen.

That’s how many pages I had written toward my third rewrite of my book.  By hand.  All my book needed was time, character development, and a meaty storyline.  I’m pretty sure God gave me all of that when I went on this retreat a few weeks ago.

I’d signed up for reNEW (retreat for New England Writing) over the summer.  One of my friends from church invited me after she saw that I wanted to pursue a career as a writer.  The three of us from church who traveled together on Columbus Day Weekend did not know what to expect.

I’d already told you about what I learned spiritually and emotionally.  You’ll be amazed to know what I learned vocationally.

The retreat took place at Holy Family Retreat Center in West Hartford, Connecticut.  Having been built in the early 1950s, this retreat center has served as a source of hope, recovery, and a renewed love for Jesus Christ.

Believe it or not, this is what my book was missing!

As you know, my book is about a young woman who struggles with anxiety and learns to deal with the wounds from her past.  My book started as a testimony of how God healed me of anxiety.  Because I wanted to minister to a non-Christian audience (so that they can also find freedom from anxiety), I made God a symbolic, ambiguous character in the story.  When people read the story (even Christians!), they had no idea that the King was supposed to serve as the God character.

Before going on this retreat, I had been wrestling with how much of God I should put in my book.  On this retreat, I learned that God should be where he always was in my life, my marriage, and my writing: right at the center.  After walking through the Stations of the Cross, I could imagine my character walking along the trail, seeing her anxiety through the eyes of her Savior who literally moved Heaven and Earth to save her.  That experience brought healing not only to my soul, but to the soul of my main character, Tori.

If you never read anything from me again, may this message stick with you: Jesus Christ died for all of our sins, defeating death and all that it entails, and rose again three days later, carrying with him the hope of eternal life.  We think that eternal life begins when we die.  Well, we die when we surrender our lives to Christ, and He gives us new life right now.  And that’s how I was finally able to understand how to overcome anxiety, when I realized how dead I was before Jesus came and breathed new life into me.  Now my anxiety has no power over me.  And that’s the message behind my book Kingdom of Truth (title pending).

I’m thankful for the people who made reNEW possible.  I’m so blessed to have met some wonderful ladies who are now encouraging me in my writing and are giving me some interesting material to read as well!  I felt like I was a spark plug in need of an outlet, and this retreat truly helped me get connected and revived.

Now that I’m back to “the real world,” please pray that I would take the time to really invest in this book.  I have very little free time in my schedule, and when I actually have time, I’m tired and just want to curl into a ball and drink some tea.  But the desire to write has been burning within, even more now that I’ve attended this retreat.  My goal is to finish the book by the end of this year.  I’m celebrating each time I write even a hundred words (a paragraph) a day.

Thank you all for your support and prayers!

Photo courtesy of Green Chameleon on Unsplash.