Tag: prayer

Categories
anxiety

Choose Your Battles

Since I’ve had to go through some tough love recently, I have some tough love for you, friend:

If you can’t control your anxiety, your anxiety will control you.

In 2014, a dear friend of mine prayed for me and encouraged me with this word: You’re stronger than you think. I have never forgotten that, because it was something I didn’t believe. I think that I’m weak because I have anxiety. But that’s a lie. Anxiety does not have power over me. I am stronger than my fear by the grace of God.

When facing my fears, I choose my battles. There are some fights I’m not willing to engage in, where I let anxiety be my excuse, but there are some fights where I take out my biggest weapon and attack it head-on.

One of those fears is being on stage, being the center of attention. My best friend just got married this weekend. I was so incredibly happy for her, and I was blessed to be one of her bridesmaids. However, I couldn’t shake the fear of standing on the steps at the front of the church, where anyone could be looking at me. Leading up to the wedding, I realized that this fear was totally selfish. This was my friend’s day, not mine. Not a single eye was looking at me during the ceremony, and that’s the way it should be. Instead of letting the fear stop me from enjoying the ceremony, I filled my mind with the reminder that I was doing this for her, and for her and her husband’s commitment to God. By standing up there, I wasn’t just facing my fear; I was displaying to her and to everyone else that I supported her union to her husband and that I believed that God is at the center of their marriage. That is something worth fighting for.

Another one of those fears is flying. My fear if flying is debilitating. Most people get scared going through security, but I’m scared once the cabin door is shut and we have no way out until we land on the other side (even just writing that made it difficult to breathe!). On the flight, I shake uncontrollably, my muscles tense up, and I usually end up crying. Like, ugly crying. However, I love to travel. I want to see the world with my husband and my family. My husband’s family also lives in another state, and we have to fly to see them. When my grandfather was alive, he made a vow that he would never fly because it scared him too much. I cannot and will not do that. So I do whatever it takes to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepare myself for the flight. I remind myself that whatever is waiting on the other side of the plane is worth the panic attacks.

Some anxiety is not worth fighting. I don’t go on roller coasters because the five seconds of thrill I’d feel conquering my fear is not worth day-long stress I would feel leading up to the experience. I don’t go on high ropes courses or go bungee jumping or sky diving because I’m afraid of heights; I have given up on the desire to add those things to my bucket list.

When you’re panicking, ask yourself: If I fight my fear, will it be worth it? My criterion for choosing my battle is: Will conquering my fear help me and my loved ones? Choosing to fight against my fear of being on stage helped me to celebrate with my friend and to show my support for her. Choosing to fight against my fear of flying helps me to enjoy God’s creation and to spend time with my loved ones. Although it may take time to fully overcome my fear, chopping away at the wall of fear a little bit at a time will eventually make the wall crumble.

You are indeed stronger than you think. God has great plans for you, and He will give you strength to fight each battle that comes your way. Today, try to conquer fear a little bit at a time. If you need help, reach out to a friend. I’m always here if you need prayer or encouragement!

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” -2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Photo by Henry Hustava on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

What to Pray When You’re Anxious

Update from last week: I decided to take my own advice and to make time for myself. Last week was more than I could handle, and instead of moving around like clockwork, I knew I needed to pause and do something for myself. My husband had gotten me a gift certificate to get a foot massage. Sunday seemed like the perfect time to get one! After doing nothing but get my feet rubbed for one whole hour, I realized that I very rarely do nothing anymore. I made a decision to make time to do nothing more often. I will consciously put away my phone, put down the book, and just let my mind wander for a set amount of time. It’s a discipline, but it is so totally worth it!

Before I met Jesus, I didn’t know how to pray when I needed help. I thought that God was staring down at me from Heaven, angrily waiting for me to concoct the perfect prayer while I stammered anxiously. As a perfectionist, I wanted to give God the best prayer to help me in my need. However, the process of trying to make up a great prayer left me too scared to even pray.

But as I grew to know Jesus as Savior, to understand that He is a Person who genuinely cares about me, that’s when my prayers began to change. I began to read His Word and to study more about who Jesus is and God’s plans for my life. Prayer became talking to God. Just like I talk to my earthly father, I can talk to my Heavenly Father with even more love and peace, knowing that He cares deeply about me and only wants the best for me. I received that privilege as a child of God through Jesus’ sacrifice of dying on the cross and forgiving me of my sins. Now I trust in Him as my Lord and Savior.

When I am in need of a Savior, I know I can call on the name of Jesus.

No matter how long or short my prayers are, they have turned into genuine prayers that cry out to Jesus for help. Sometimes I just whisper His name, and sometimes I say, “Please, Lord, help me.” I trust that He is able to help me when I need Him.

Jesus truly has a beautiful name. When He came to Earth, His name was very common. But the meaning behind it is what has shaken the atmosphere and has caused us to live in new hope, power, and life. The name “Jesus” means “our God saves.”

Jesus was sent by God to save the world.

The angel Gabriel came to Earth and told Mary and Joseph to name their son Jesus. Names were very important during that time. Your name represented your identity. Jesus’ identity is Savior. Jesus points us back to God and reminds us that He alone is our salvation.

Do you trust in His name? Do you trust in His saving power? When we know that His name has power and we trust him to meet us in our moments of deep weakness, He will meet us in His strength to change the world. When we speak the Word of God over our situations, we know that He will use His promises to bring healing and redemption into our mess.

We will trust in his name as the One who saves.

So when you are anxious, you don’t have to concoct the best prayer. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to ask for His help. It doesn’t get more simple than that: just trust in Him, and call on His name. Let Him speak to your heart in your anxious moments.

Jesus, please help me.

By speaking those words, you trust that Jesus is able to help you.

I can tell you from many years of past experience that whenever I call on the name of Jesus, He answers me and helps me in my weakest moments. May the Prince of Peace become the Lord of your life that will never leave you or forsake you!

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Categories
Wisdom Wednesday

How to Overcome When You’re Overwhelmed

As I’ve been slightly overwhelmed these past few weeks, I find it appropriate to write about what to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed.  Two week ago, I shared that if you’re overwhelmed, you’re in good company.  This week, let’s talk about what to do in the heat of the moment.

It amazes me that some people don’t know what a panic attack feels like.  For me, they are a regular struggle; I used to have multiple panic attacks a day, and then they stopped for a few months, and now I have about one every two weeks.  Needless to say, panic attacks are a major inconvenience, no matter how often I get them or how long they last.

For those who don’t know, let me describe a typical panic attack (although panic attacks look different for everyone): throat feels tight, trouble breathing, racing heart, dizziness, blurry vision, hot flashes, nausea, muscle spasms, dry mouth, and stomach knots…all in a matter of five minutes.

Panic attacks tend to occur when I’m feeling overwhelmed.  When I have a ton of things to do and I don’t even know where to start, my muscles tense and I literally become frozen.  I pray and wait until the storm within passes.  Eventually, it does pass, even when it feels like it will never end when it’s actually happening.

If you’re anxious or overwhelmed right now, you probably don’t want to read about it.  You just want help.  Look no further!  Here are five things you can do to calm your nerves and get back on track:

  • Close your eyes: Looking at the pile of work on your desk, the dirty laundry in your bedroom, or a person with whom you have a conflict, can be very overwhelming.  It may help you to just push your chair away from your desk for a minute, turn your head away from the mess, or even go into another room to collect your thoughts.  Don’t let this become an excuse to not get your work done, but taking a break for a few minutes can help you calm down and be ready to face whatever comes your way.
  • Take a deep breath: When I’m anxious, I forget to breathe.  I didn’t realize that I do that until I was in college, and my friend noticed I wasn’t breathing.  Anxiety actually subsides when we let oxygen flow through our brain and allow the body to heal.  I just did a quick search on how oxygen helps with anxiety, and I found that people actually use concentrated oxygen (under doctor or professional supervision, I’m sure) to heal from anxiety and other mental disorders.  So, the air around you can help you if you just, well, use it!
  • Make a list: Write a to-do list and study it.  Seeing all your tasks causes you to look at them and make a plan of action.  They can be counted; they are not innumerable.  You will feel more in control, and you will remember your tasks, if you list what seems like impossible activities.
  • Pray: You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.  He will give you the wisdom to handle your tasks, and the peace to overcome your anxiety.  Pray for clarity of mind as you use wisdom to sort through your to-do list.
  • Move: Do not let the fear paralyze you.  As I said before, anxiety or feeling overwhelmed may hinder you from getting anything done.  Sometimes the best way to overcome the stress is to simply do the task.  When you start moving, you’ll be able to accomplish what you thought was impossible.

The Bible says that when we meditate on the word of God day and night, we will be like a tree planted near streams of water (Psalm 1:1-3).  Wouldn’t you rather be a tree that is rooted on the ground than a leaf that is blown around by the wind?  Trust in God in the midst of anxiety.  He is our foundation, our ever present help in trouble.  Through Him, we can overcome when we feel overwhelmed.

Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

Categories
Wisdom Wednesday

Let’s Be Honest

I walk through the church atrium, greeted by many smiling faces.  “How are you?” they ask me, already knowing my answer.  “I’m good, how are you?”  Their smiles grow wider when they act exactly the way that they expect.  “Good!” they reply enthusiastically.

Little do they know that I’m not really “good.”  The truth is: I’m hurting inside, but I don’t want to talk about it.  I’d rather stuff it deeper and hide behind a polite smile.  I lift my hands in worship, putting on a show rather than truly surrendering to God, fearing that if I didn’t lift my hands, someone would ask me what was wrong.  The pastor leads us in prayer at the end of the service, but all I want to do is go home.

Sadly, I lived for too long under the mask of false positivity and rehearsed answers.  Sadly, people I love have lived the same way.  Sadly, the world makes it nearly impossible to be honest with others, with ourselves, and with God.

I believe that a huge portion of my anxiety was a result of hiding my feelings and being dishonest with those around me.  I would walk through life as if I was carrying a big package and I could never put it down.  It was difficult to breathe under the weight of my hurt.

Someone recently asked me if it was normal to be upset at God.  Learning to be honest with God was so liberating.  For most of my life, I believed that emotions were bad.  I believed that I should avoid emotions at all cost and just focus on the positive.  After all, the Bible says to give thanks in all circumstances.  Doesn’t that mean it’s a sin not to be thankful at any given moment?  But after meeting some great accountability partners in college, I learned that the Bible had a lot to say about being honest with our emotions!

Yes, it is normal to be upset with God.  Think about it.  God is sovereign over everything.  He can easily stop whatever is going on that is causing you pain or frustrating you.  He can easily heal me from my anxiety.  He can easily make the cars part on the parkway so that I have no traffic on the way home.  But for some reason that we don’t understand, He’s not stopping the pain or the confusion.

The beautiful thing about honesty is that it shows God your heart. I believe that God would rather have an honest worshiper who was angry than a fake worshiper who was happy. Psalm 51:17 says that God will not despise a broken and contrite spirit.

The Psalms are filled with honest prayers to God that make you wonder “Should those really be in the Bible?” As a matter of fact, David prays that his enemies’ babies would be dashed against the rocks (see Psalm 137). That’s obviously really extreme, but it shows how much anger was in David’s prayers. He was angry that his enemies had taken Israel into captivity; he was removed from his homeland and all he wanted to do was go back.

I sometimes drive home from work and simply ask God “Why?”  Why do I have to sit in this traffic?  Why do I still have anxiety?  Why is life so difficult?  The world calls this complaining, but I call it honesty.  The key to being honest with God about our emotions is that we must not stop there.  The Psalms never ended on a bad note and neither should we.  David would pour out his anger, sadness, and anxiety to God…but then he would declare his complete trust to God.

“God, I’m sad.  I’m angry.  Why is this happening?  Although I don’t understand what You’re doing, I trust that You will work all of this out for good, and You will never leave me or forsake me because You love me.”

I don’t know how long this season of questioning will last for you.  I don’t know what God has for you in the next season. All I know is that when you are honest with God, and you surrender your hurt, confusion, or anger to Him, you will grow closer to Him. It may be a daily surrender instead of a one-and-done deal. You may go to bed one day and surrender your hurts to Him, and wake up the next morning and still have the hurt. Keep surrendering, and then remind yourself of the hope you have in Christ.

 

Photo by Geetanjal Khanna on Unsplash