Tag: freedom

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Books

Freedom’s Ring: Boston Comes Alive

It is ironic to me that I’m writing a Christian fiction novel and I really don’t read a lot of Christian fiction.  When I went on the reNEW writers conference, I met a sweet woman who had just published her first novel.  It was so great listening to her story and hearing the journey that she endured while writing, rewriting, editing, and submitting her first novel.  I am glad that Heidi Chiavaroli’s novel Freedom’s Ring was my first real look at Christian fiction.

Freedom’s Ring is a time-slip novel, a novel that compares two stories in two different time periods.  The story follows Anaya, who, along with her family, suffered trauma from the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013.  In the midst of the chaos that day, a mysterious hero gives Anaya a ring that is able to sustain her through her healing journey.  They spend the rest of the book learning the history of the ring, trying to discover its ancient meaning, while learning about themselves in the process.

The ring dates back to the 1700s, on the onset of the Boston Massacre.  During this time, Liberty, whose brother James is a Patriot, is servant to a Redcoat.  She develops feelings for the Lieutenant and must choose between her allegiance to her country and her desire for love and acceptance.

This book was Christian fiction done right.  It captured my heart with emotion, but it also left me inspired.  I felt like I was there with the women in the story, talking with them, getting inside their brains.  From a writer’s perspective, I was able to admire the character development and the change of thought as Anaya heals from her trauma and Liberty undergoes the trauma of the Boston Massacre as well as the political drama of the American Revolution.  Heidi does a wonderful job in making a story so historical to us so relevant to the reader.

I also love that Heidi brought to life the city of Boston.  I didn’t really know a lot about Boston when I read this book.  I have been to Boston a few times to check out colleges around there and to visit my aunt, but the streets were not familiar to me after visiting a few years ago.  I felt like I had bought a one-way ticket to Boston and had taken the scenic route, admiring the culture of this city rich with history.

The book is great for anyone who loves history.  I can imagine a few people I know that like Christian fiction and history enjoying this novel.  The romance is innocent, the emotions are real, and the historicity is realistic.  I give a solid thumbs up to Heidi for a great success on her first novel.

For more information about the book, including where to buy it, you can check out Heidi’s website at http://www.heidichiavaroli.com/

Categories
Church

Renewing Your Love for the Church

The usual alarm wakes me up.  It’s the same time I usually wake up for work, except this time, I’m not going to work.  It’s Sunday…time for church.

I want to hit the “Snooze” button, but it’s church.  I can’t skip out on my obligation to show God He matters to me.  Truthfully, what really motivates me to get out of bed is the promise that I’ll be able to take a nap after the service.

My husband and I leave the house a few minutes late.  We have a squabble about the importance of hearing the first song, how it sets the mood for the rest of the service, and if we show up late we’ll not only miss the song but will receive judgmental stares from the congregants who do not want to be interrupted during the first song.  With this new anxiety in mind, we speed our way to church, yelling at cars that are safely driving but are in our way.  We make it into the parking lot on time, but we still have to park the car, get out of the car, walk into the church building, say hello to the greeters, get a bulletin, and find a seat. By the time we get to our seats, the first song is half-way over.  We are officially late to church.

After the usual announcements and the rest of the songs, we sit down, ready to critique the message, hoping it was worth the stress it took to get to church this morning.  The pastor stands up and begins his message talking about Christians all over the world who are being persecuted for their faith.  He looks right at me, as if he knows what I’m thinking, and says, “Praise God for the freedom we have to come to church every morning.”

In the hustle and bustle of the day, in the craziness of my week, I missed the point of going to church.

Needless to say, I made sure I paid extra attention to the message that day!  It was the 4th of July service at our church, and after the crazy week I’d had (conveniently while working at a church during VBS week!) the only thing I wanted to do was crawl back into bed.  I’d confessed my desire to my husband, and prayed that God would change my heart.  I knew it was wrong to not want to go to church, but knowing that did not increase my interest in going to church.

There are a ton of reasons why people (especially but not limited to millennials) are leaving the church in droves.  You can read about those on your own.  Most of them blame pastors/church leadership, and while I agree that pastors should be held to a high standard, completely putting the responsibility on pastors completely takes the responsibility off of everyone else.

My job is to encourage others through writing.  So instead of beating you over the head and telling you to go to church, let me encourage you with some stories that my friends have shared on social media regarding why they call their church home:

“I would have to say the messages of truth. But there is so much more. The warm godly people that I get to call my brothers and sisters. The beautiful worship music we sing to our Lord. The transparency of our church and the dedication of the staff. It is home to me. To Him be the glory in the church.”

“The thing I love most about church is the people. Knowing that people truly care about you, pray for you and want the best for you. I also love being there for others, praying for them, and serving them. There’s no other place like the Lord’s house.”

“This is tough, but I think I’d have to say my pastor. He’s always in the hallway after the service greeting and shaking hands with everyone, and just how real he is. He’s not afraid to speak Biblical truth and he doesn’t shy away from talking about areas in his life where he has failed. Like, he’s honest about his life before coming to Christ and he doesn’t put up a front of having everything figured out. And just his passion for the Lord.”

“My favorite thing about [the church I attend] is feeling at home there. It’s exactly where God wants me to be.”

“What I love about my church is that one member or office is not held in higher regard than the other. We are all servants of Christ and the glory goes to God for any achievements. This is HUGE…The sense of community is awesome. I have so many friends that I do things with outside of church that go to [the church I attend].”

Overall, they feel like home.  They like hearing the truth.  They like not having to compete, to just be themselves, and to feel welcome somewhere.*

Isn’t that what this every broken heart needs?  A place to belong?  A good dose of truth?  A sense of acceptance?

I got saved at the church I attend.  I had many life-changing experiences at the church I attend.  I got baptized at the church I attend.  I learned how to pray, I met my husband, and got married at the church I attend.  It is rare that I have had so many life experiences at my church, especially since I live in a transient area.  Nevertheless, I keep coming back.  God is doing amazing things in His church, and I want a front-row seat to the action!

If you are sick of church, I pray that God draws you back.  Whether it’s the church you last attended, or a church that you’ve never tried before, I pray that you feel welcome, accepted, and loved.  But please, please, be patient as well.  People who lead and serve in churches are broken, imperfect people.  It may take time for you to feel at home.  But if you want hope, encouragement, and guidance, check out what God is doing at the local church near you.

*There was one person who commented on the question I posed on Facebook whose answer I did not use.  This person expressed the difficulty of finding a good church to attend.  Although I did not quote this person’s answer in this article, I believe that this person is also looking for a place to call home, a good dose of truth, and a sense of acceptance.

Photo by Luca Baggio on Unsplash.

Categories
Book Update

Quick Book Update: When Writing is Like Breathing

Hey, all!  I’ve got some honest news for you.  In the process of rewriting my entire book, I have no emotional energy or mental stamina to write a full update for you.  Let me just send you a big thumbs up and tell you that everything is going great!

I had to take a break from writing my book for a little bit because my husband and I went away for four days.  The drive back and forth from our destination gave me a lot of time to think and process.  From that, I was inspired to write an article that I posted on Monday night. Since then, I’ve been reading a book for my Bible study, working, straightening up the house, and mustering the strength to write a chapter of my book.  I don’t exactly have a hard deadline, but lately, I’ve been writing a chapter a day.

No one (except for myself) is pressuring me to finish this book.

For those of you who do not share my passion for writing, here is an inside look at what it’s like to value writing just as much as you value breathing.  It was very late (about ten o’clock), and my husband and I were settling down to bed.  I knew I had to get up early for work, but for some reason, I could not fall asleep.  I tried sorting out my feelings by venting to my husband, but all the poor guy wanted to do was snooze.  After a few minutes, I gave up and decided to try closing my eyes.

When I finally relaxed, a thought came to my mind. No, not just a thought…a chapter.  In the five seconds it took me to gain consciousness again, I had conjured up a full chapter outline in my mind.  All I had to do was write it down, since I knew that such a genius idea would fly out of my head quite quickly.

There was only one problem: my journal was in my purse…in the other room, and not by my bedside.

Did I really have to get out of bed to write down my fantastic ideas?

Then I remembered: we’d brought the mail into our apartment, and we received a letter that had come in an envelope.  That envelope had enough blank space for me to write the sketch of Chapter 4!

I groped around in the dark, trying to find the envelope that I had tossed on the floor.  My husband leaned over and asked what I was doing, since I was moving the bed in the process. “It’s OK, honey,” I whispered, “just trust me.”  He is not one who values writing as much as breathing, but he did respect my need to get my thoughts on paper.  Finally, I found the envelope on which I could release the thoughts that had been caged inside my mind.

And now, the outline of Chapter 4* is safely written on two sides of said envelope.  Now expanding on my ideas, especially on a Thursday night, has been like pulling teeth.  But it’s fun, trust me!

 

*Chapter 4, as well as the preceding chapters, will be available to read once Chapters 5-31 are rewritten.  Stay tuned!

Categories
Wisdom Wednesday

Stop Light

The following blog post is 99% metaphorical.

As I left the school today, I groaned at the time. 3:40.  By the time I hit the road, it would be rush hour, and there would be no chance of me getting home before 5.  The commute to the school is never that bad.  Sure, sometimes there will be an accident or construction on the road, but usually I make it to the school in less than an hour.  But for some reason, no matter what time I leave the school (especially during rush hour), I do not make it home at a decent hour.

I turned up the radio and drove to the main road.  I managed to get to the highway entrance without hitting any lights.  As I raced my car down the highway, I thought I actually had hope in getting home early.  Then, all of a sudden, there is a sea of red lights in my path.  Every car was completely stopped.  My car jolted as I slammed on the brakes, barely missing an accident with the car in front of me.  Well, there goes my opportunity for fun.  Did I mention I was thirsty, in desperate need of some watermelon?

If there was any chance of movement in the next lane, I would quickly change lanes to get at least a foot farther than where I was before.  I kept moving, I kept going, not being satisfied where I was.  But no matter where I moved, there was traffic in my way.  I couldn’t go far.  I had to simply stay put and wait for the traffic to end.

I rolled my eyes as each exit sign slowly passed by my view.  One exit closer, ten minutes later.  My mind replayed all of the people who have complained to me about rush hour in the past.  Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as some people have made it out to seem, but it still wasn’t a pleasant experience.  Thirsty, hungry, and tired, I could not even sing along to the music on the radio.

As I listened to the radio, the song “One Thing Remains” came on.  I decided to sing it out loud, because it talks about dealing with trials.  I sang each word, enunciating each consonant.  The traffic didn’t go away, but suddenly, I began to laugh at my predicament.  Here I am, sitting in a car, after having a great class with my students, having had the opportunity to practice what I have learned in my TEFL certification class, and I am complaining!  How long would I really be in the car, two hours at most?  Why would I let two hours ruin my whole day?

To cope with the rest of the ride, I did a few things to lighten the situation.  First of all, I continued playing music from a CD.  I used my steering wheel as a drum.  I found harmonies to the songs on the radio.  In the end, although I was by myself, I laughed at the ludicrousness of the whole situation.  I didn’t care if other people were watching me dance. As a matter of fact, I was hoping that my laughter and joy would catch on so that they had no reason to complain.

Secondly, I looked to the other side, to the people who were going in the other direction.  They really were at a dead stop, while we were at least crawling.  I know it’s bad to laugh at the misfortune of others, but I at least had to enjoy the fact that I wasn’t as unfortunate as the drivers on the other side of the road.

Finally, I thanked God when the road actually began to clear.  It would have been easy for me to say, “Well, it’s about time!”  However, I knew that, at that time in the day, the roads should have been jammed until my exit.  After all of my complaining and expecting, I made it home in a little over an hour.  I was home before 5.  God showed me mercy on this hot, thirst-inducing day.  All I could do was thank him that my experience wasn’t much worse.

Before I finally got home, there was a stop light that almost brought me over the edge.  There were at least ten cars waiting for the stop light.  Seriously?  I had one more little obstacle blocking me from making it back to my house.  Just as I was about to find a detour, I stopped myself.  I made it this far; why wouldn’t I stick it out until the end?  I waited a few seconds for the light to turn green.  I shifted into the turning lane and made it safely back to my house.

If you are dealing with a frustrating situation, how are you going to respond?  Are you going to complain and try to avoid it, or are you going to make the most out of it?  Wait it out, and see what you can learn from it.  Sometimes, we can’t avoid the traffic in our lives, but we can still dance in the midst of it and appreciate what we have.

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Uncategorized

How Does That Make You Feel?

If you’ve been following my other blog posts, you would know that emotions are a big deal to me.  The reason why is the topic of this blog post: My failure to acknowledge my emotions on a daily basis has been the ultimate source of my anxiety.  For a long time, I kept my emotions bottled up inside of me, afraid to show others how I felt.  I was scared that no one would understand–or, even worse, that no one would care.  As a result, my anxiety became the only thing that I would let myself feel.  On the outside, I became quiet, reserved, and stoic.

I would have random moments where I would not be able to control my emotions.  My friend would invite me to hang out, and I would angrily scream that I was always busy and I could never hang out with anyone!  My mom and I would go out to eat, and I would start crying.  I would apologize and then become irritated because I would not know why I was crying.  I would have a great day at the beach with my friends, then come home and have a bout of depression.  I believe that this chaos of emotions is due to the fact that I did not deal with my emotions on a daily basis.

As a result of my inability to control how I felt, I would feel more and more anxiety because I did not know what was wrong with me.  I even developed psychosomatic symptoms (physical symptoms caused by mental or emotional stress) because I was not emotionally healthy.  There was a period of time where I could not eat anything; everything I ate made me sick.  I would also randomly get headaches.  These physical sicknesses, as well as the episodes of emotional outburst, were red flags that something needed to change.

This last year of college, I learned how to identify my emotions.  I discovered the value of my emotions, and the freedom to express them whenever I needed.  When others told me to stop overreacting and just calm down, I stood firm in my ability and entitlement to feel what was in my heart.

I am finding a balance between expressing when I feel sad and forgetting about all of the blessings that I have. Today, I read some insightful advice from Tommy Newberry’s 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life.  He made it clear that it is okay to feel emotions, but it is also important not to let those emotions justify negative thinking or behavior.  I realized that my negative emotions (irritability, feeling unloved, and feeling belittled) come from my refusal to take responsibility for my emotions.  I justify my emotions by blaming others or saying that I’m entitled.  I have a right to feel irritable because I did not sleep well last night.  I would feel happy, if she did not look at me the wrong way this morning.  Well, now that I am an adult, I am now responsible for how I feel and what I think.

You are responsible for your emotions.  You could either suppress them or dump them onto other people.  It is important not to justify your emotions but to validate them.  You can start by writing a journal entry, maybe something like this:

Today, I feel (emotion) because (reason why you feel this way).  I know that this is a valid emotion, but it does not have to control how I live.  In order to be happy today, I can (practical ways that you can feel joy again, whether it is talking about it with a friend, changing your perspective about the situation, or doing something fun to distract yourself from it for a little while).  Today is going to be a great day, filled with joy and peace rather than anxiety and negativity.

It is difficult to sort through your emotions when you have a lot of them. However, identifying your emotions can dispel anxiety and cause long lasting peace.  I can honestly say that identifying and learning how to express my emotions has been the most helpful exercise in overcoming anxiety.  Because of the support of other people, the grace of God, and the many hours I spend a day writing in my journal, I do not have any more stomach problems or headaches.

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Uncategorized

Trying on New Clothes: You Can’t Go Around It

Transitions are those moments in life that are in between two seasons.  In a lifetime, one has many seasons.  In college, these seasons are packaged tightly into neat packages called semesters.  After college (for me), seasons are more disorganized, and transitions are more drastic.

Transitioning from a college student to a…well, a non-college student…has been difficult.  It seems like I had let go of so many great opportunities after I had walked across that stage.  At the same time, I now have access to even greater opportunities that lie ahead of my path.  I said goodbye to some wonderful friends, only to say hello to new co-workers and deeper relationships with people I knew before college.  It has felt like trying on new clothes.  The clothes feel clean and refreshing, but there was nothing wrong with my old comfortable clothes.  At this point in my life, I am trying to discover what to wear, what to throw out, and what to save for later.  As I grow, the clothes that were once comfortable may become itchy, worn out, or tight.

Transitions between seasons are difficult, but they are worth it.  They can come in numerous forms, from graduation to getting a job promotion to losing a loved one.  The temptation is to try to avoid transitions.  It is possible to go from one season to another without taking the time to grieve what was lost, process what was gained, and make a plan for the future.  However, inevitably, you will hit a bump in the road and will have to go back to deal with what you did not process before.

Journey with me as I process through my transitioning from a college student to whatever else God has for me.  This time in my life is different, because I have never done it before, but I believe that there is hope at the end of this.  Life is a process that takes time to unfold, and we need to take the time to understand what we are facing.  I am thankful for those who have taught me the importance of reflection, grieving, and hope.  I hope that this blog series will not only help me verbalize my feelings, but will also encourage anyone else who is moving from one stage of life to another.

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Uncategorized

From Childish to Childlike: The Value of Transitions

Over the past few days, I have been talking about transitioning from childish to childlike.  But what are the benefits of going from childish to childlike?  If our goal is to be spiritually mature, why would we want to explore life as a child?

From the time I was seven years old until I was about sixteen, my life was chaotic.  My childhood was taken from me by divorce, stepparents, responsibilities, hidden emotions, and anxiety.  These events are still pretty tough for me to discuss, even though they happened nearly ten years ago.  When normal children were having fun and playing, I was in my house, trying to sort through how I felt.  I balanced taking care of my sister, seeing my parents, and entertaining a bipolar stepfather, while attempting to figure out why I was so anxious all the time.  My stepsisters made fun of me whenever I acted my age, despite the fact that they were only two years older than me.  They constantly compared themselves to me.  As a result, I put away childish things.  I grew up, forgetting the joy and peace I felt as a child.

During my college years, I was scared of growing up.  Whatever chance I had of going back to my childhood was over.  I cried a lot over the loss of opportunities.  I journaled about my fears and concerns, like getting a job or having my own family.  Because I missed my childhood, I did not feel safe about going into the future.

When I went on that retreat and played on the challenge course, I thought a lot about my childhood.  I remembered the fun time I had in kindergarten.  I remembered the embarrassing moments from elementary school.  I remembered my friends and the activities I enjoyed doing.  Honestly, although that time I had on the playground was short, it was helpful to grieve my childhood so that I could look toward the future.  It was not possible for me to grow up because I desired a childhood that I didn’t have.

As you walk from childishness to childlikeness, do not be afraid to grieve.  If you did not have a childhood, take some time to play. Humble yourself.  Take a break from work to do what you love.  Spend time with friends.  Look up at God and thank Him for the life that He has given you.

This blog post concludes my series “From Childish to Childlike.”  After a quick break this weekend, I will continue to discuss the importance of transitions.  Come back on Monday to read my new series. Thanks for your continued support.  Be blessed!

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Uncategorized

From Childish to Childlike: Sharing is Caring

When my sister was born, I had to change a lot about how I saw the world.  I used to have my parents all to myself.  I did not have to fight for their attention.  I would enjoy their company.  I would also enjoy the possessions that they gave me.  I did not need to share them with anyone.  Once my sister was born, I had to learn how to share my parents and my possessions.  Honestly, it was not easy. Whenever I would feel comfortable with my stuff, my sister would want to play with them.  I was having fun, and she wanted to have fun, so she tried to take my toys from me.  I would push her away, and she would cry and hug my mom.

I thought that the toys were my source of love and security.  When I was good, my parents bought me toys.  My grandma would give me gifts every time I would see her.  My toys meant that I was loved.  My childish brain could not comprehend that my sister needed love too.  Not only that, but she loved me.  She didn’t only want to enjoy my toys; she wanted to enjoy my company as well.  She wanted us to have fun together.  She wanted to be loved by my parents’ with me, not instead of me.  It was not a competition between us.  However, I was so used to having my parents’ love all to myself that I did not know how to share it with other people.

I didn’t realize that my relationship with my parents was not dependent on what I received.  I was always going to be their daughter, and I was always going to be loved by them.  My sister also had that relationship with my parents, but in a different way.  It wasn’t until I became comfortable with my identity as my mom’s daughter that I was able to share my toys, my time, and my love with my sister.  Now, my sister and I are really good friends.  We share almost everything.  We have both learned that our identities are not found in our possessions.

Even as an adult, I struggle with taking pride in what I have.  One thing I take pride in is my joy.  I have a lot of joy; even when people are angry around me, I have the ability to be joyful.  However, I am so used to being the only joyful person around me, that it is difficult to enjoy being happy with other people.  Sometimes, I feel like my joy is an indicator of my relationship with God.  The more joy I feel, the stronger my relationship is with God.  So when other people take joy in the things that give me joy, I feel like I have less of God.  However, by sharing my joy with others, I am giving them the opportunity to experience the joy of the Lord as well.  Not only that, but I am allowing others to rejoice with me, so that I am not alone.  I am able to receive more of what God has for me; I experience true community as well as abundant joy when I share the joy that God has given me with other people.

As I go from childish to childlike, I remember that I am not the only one in the entire world that God wants to bless. He wants all people to experience his joy.  My relationship with God does not change because of my responsibility to share my gifts.  I am always going to be his daughter, and I am always going to be loved by him.  Only from true satisfaction in our relationship with God can we truly share the joy that he has given us, trusting that he will provide even more.

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Uncategorized

From Childish to Childlike: Learning to Live in the Light

I posted this in another blog that I have, but I wanted to write it here because I wanted to continue my blog series.  Enjoy!

In the famous love chapter of the Bible, the Apostle Paul says that when he became older, he gave up childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11).  This appears to be a call for us to let go of anything that is childish.  As you grow in spiritual maturity, you should put away things that produce spiritual immaturity.  However, Jesus tells us that if we do not become like children, we will not partake in the kingdom of God (Matthew 18:3).  Jesus calls us to inherit the kingdom of God just like a child (Mark 10:15).

How can these two ideas work together?  How can we put away childish things and still remain childlike?

A few weeks ago, I went on a retreat with my class.  We were all given assignments to take on for eight hours.  After serious prayer, my spiritual director and her assistant decided that my assignment was to play.  They brought me to a challenge course, prayed for me, and walked away.  I looked around at what I saw:  steps made out of tires that were suspended a few feet off the ground; a tight rope literally inches from the ground, with a rope attached to a tree to help me keep balance; a few blocks of wood to serve as benches; and lots of rocks.  At first, I questioned this whole thing.  How could I abandon all the maturity, all the rules, all the responsibilities that I have acquired during my twenty-one years of living?  But then I realized…I had eight hours to do whatever I wanted.  No one was around either, so who was going to judge me?  The sunlight hit my face between the shade of the trees.  Joy exuded through me. I was ready.

For eight hours, I did everything I had loved to do as a child.  I skipped on the rocks that were scattered all around the ground.  Pretending the dirt was molten lava, I ran around the rocks as if my life depended on it.  Then, when I got bored, I started jumping off some boulders into the cool, moist dirt.  I got to a point where I just danced.  I didn’t care who was watching (if anyone); I was free to do whatever I wanted.

As I acted like a child, memories of my childhood came back to my head.  I meditated on a few things my parents said to me, as well as incidents I had in school.  God helped me to find healing to the hurts that I had felt, but he also reminded me of the good times that I had in my childhood.

Ironically, this experience helped me to transition to adulthood.  All of the things that hindered me as a child no longer mattered; I was an adult now, so I was able to shake off my limitations.  I could hear the memory of my parents saying, “That’s not safe.  If you do that, you’ll get hurt.”   On this retreat, I jumped off of rocks and fell in the dirt.  I did everything that my parents had told me was unsafe.  I did somersaults, which I was told could actually break my neck.  What held me back before was childish.  I was now free to do what I felt like doing.  I was now free to do what God was calling me to do.  I was now free to live like a child.

Because of this experience, I have become more childlike.  However, I have put away childish things.  Over these next few weeks, I will be writing about the difference between childlike and childish in more detail.  As I learn what it means to have childlike faith, and as I lay down my pride and put childish things to death, I hope to encourage you that it is possible to have spiritual maturity while maintaining the freedom of a child.