Tag: writinglife

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Wisdom Wednesday

Choose Your Wisdom

You guys have known me long enough for me to say this: I’ve been struggling with making decisions lately.  This isn’t the first time I’ve had this problem, but nowadays, it takes me even longer to feel peace about the decisions I’ve been making.  And after several months of praying, waiting, and hearing mixed messages, I realize the reason behind the confusion.

I need to choose my wisdom.

Now, this is not a new idea, but because of social media, TV programs, and extended families, we now have a lot of people trying to pour into our lives.  Losing weight, planning vacations, making a family, and choosing careers have never been more difficult.  We have so much information available to us that we don’t even know where to start.

We’re getting bombarded by “wisdom.”

As a Christian, I believe that true wisdom comes from knowing God and studying His Word.  I wrote last week about the importance of reading the Bible every day.  We receive wisdom from God when we read His Word and apply it to our lives.  When we read/listen to the Bible in the morning, we gain wisdom for the day ahead of us.  With every decision that comes our way, we can hold the “wisdom” we hear from others against the perfect wisdom of God.

If I read Colossians 3:23 about working for the Lord, I will choose to give my best at work and not slack off on the job.  If I read Philippians 2:14, I know not to join in on complaining with others.  If I read Proverbs 20:19 and I hear my friends gossiping, I won’t jump into the conversation.

So why is it so difficult to make decisions, if all I have to do is read the Bible to know what is right?

The wisdom of this world, the popular wisdom, does not always correlate with God’s wisdom.  Instead, the wisdom of this world correlates with human emotion and what feels right.  When God says that we get wisdom from spending time with Him, the world says, “No, you can get wisdom over here too, away from God.”

This earthly wisdom can come from a Facebook article that sounds so cleverly and creatively crafted.  This earthly wisdom can come from a news reporter who is “just trying to state the facts” (AKA their opinion).  This earthly wisdom can even come from a family member who genuinely wants to see you happy and successful.

But this earthly wisdom, in the end, will lead you down a path that could bring you  away from God’s plan for your life.

The wisdom of this world is transient.  What works for me might not be right for you.  One example of this is with weight loss.  There are so many diets out there; they can’t all be right!  One diet says to eat all carbs and no fat, one diet says to eat all fat and no carbs, and one diet says to eat fat, carbs, and protein, as long as you keep it balanced!  For me, I’ve discovered that eating less carbs has helped with bloating and hunger, but maybe for someone else, fats make them feel, well…fat.  If I follow the wisdom of everyone else, I will end up discouraged.

Instead of choosing wisdom, I’ve been grabbing onto any wisdom that floats my way.  Anytime someone offers me what appears to be wise, I chew on it for a little bit and consider what they’re saying a possibility.  Then someone else comes along and says something different but also considerably wise, and I am conflicted with two pieces of information that cannot both be right.  I’ve been so obsessed with appeasing the voices around me that I’ve lost touch with the voice that’s whispering within me.

It may take time, but I will hear the voice of God again, and I will feel the peace of God that only He can give me.

Although the Bible may not explicitly explain how to handle each and every task, I know from experience and from hearing others’ testimonies that once we put God first, once we make it our mission to please Him over everyone else, once we pray in Jesus’ name for God’s will to be done…then everything else falls into place.

And I mean, everything.

Whether you’re deciding what to make for dinner or where to go to college, choose the wisdom that aligns with the wisdom of God.  Surround yourself with encouraging, wise people who can offer you advice that correlates with God’s Word.  Just because it’s on social media doesn’t mean that it’s advice that’s been tested or researched.  Choose wisdom, and choose wisely!

 

Categories
Marriage

What’s Better than Lovey Dovey Feelings?

You typically feel those feelings when you’re first flirting with a guy and/or first dating.  If you so much as touch hands without trying, it’s like an electric spark gets sent straight through your arm.  The thrill of the moment is so exhilarating, and all you can think about in that moment is spending the rest of your life with that person.

I truly believe that God gave us these feelings to help us build a foundation of unity early on in our relationships.  If you took away all those mushy gushy feelings you had for your partner, especially in the beginning of the relationship, your partner would be no more than just another human being.  Even if you had the same likes and dislikes, you would probably not want to be more than just friends, and you’d both be OK with that.

But when you have those feelings, you are suddenly attached.  You’re like a duck imprinted on the first person you saw the minute you came out of your egg.  Suddenly, you want to impress this potential mate.  You might lose weight or start working out more. You might start reading to appear smarter.  You might rearrange your schedule so that you have enough time to spend together.  No matter what, your goal is to be united, and to make sure that nothing gets in the way of that union.

I used to be afraid that my lovey dovey feelings would fade.  After all, the lovey dovey feeling was all I knew!  The farthest I’ve ever been with someone (before marriage) was that cute electric stage.  Plus, growing up on fairy tales and romantic comedies, I didn’t know what to expect after the “happily ever after.”  If the “happily ever after” didn’t last forever, what would become of my marriage?  I couldn’t imagine life without feeling “in love” forever with someone, especially my husband!

My husband and I have only known each other for about 2 1/2 years, so our feelings are still in the honeymoon stage.  However, between our married small group, our friends that are married, and pre-marital counseling, we’ve heard the cold hard truth that the honeymoon stage of our marriage does not last forever.  One day, we will “wake up” and smell the morning breath that suddenly doesn’t smell so beautiful anymore.  One day, we will make plans without each other, and may go days without having quality time together.  One day, the veil will be taken off of our eyes, and we will see each other as imperfect, human beings.

I don’t know how that’s supposed to be appealing to anyone.  If that were all there was to marriage, why would anyone want to get married?

I’ll tell you.

My love with my husband is growing.  Flirting is always a mystery, but my husband’s love for me is not.  I never have to wonder if my husband loves me.  Even when we have busy schedules and aren’t able to have dinner together, even when he has a different definition of “quality time,” even when I mess up a meal and try to compromise, I know that at the end of the day, he’s still coming home with me.  And he still manages to give me butterflies by surprising me, spending time with me, and overall making me feel special.

Our love isn’t a lovey dovey kind of love.  It’s a secure, protecting, committed love.  And I’d take that over the spark any day.

If you’re afraid of your feelings fading, remember this: lovey dovey love is a seed that has to die for your committed love to grow into a strawberry bush.  The “honeymoon” love is what helps your relationship take root, but the commitment produces fruit that will sustain your marriage for many years to come.  Let your love grow, no matter the season of your love.

Categories
Book Update

Quick Book Update: When Writing is Like Breathing

Hey, all!  I’ve got some honest news for you.  In the process of rewriting my entire book, I have no emotional energy or mental stamina to write a full update for you.  Let me just send you a big thumbs up and tell you that everything is going great!

I had to take a break from writing my book for a little bit because my husband and I went away for four days.  The drive back and forth from our destination gave me a lot of time to think and process.  From that, I was inspired to write an article that I posted on Monday night. Since then, I’ve been reading a book for my Bible study, working, straightening up the house, and mustering the strength to write a chapter of my book.  I don’t exactly have a hard deadline, but lately, I’ve been writing a chapter a day.

No one (except for myself) is pressuring me to finish this book.

For those of you who do not share my passion for writing, here is an inside look at what it’s like to value writing just as much as you value breathing.  It was very late (about ten o’clock), and my husband and I were settling down to bed.  I knew I had to get up early for work, but for some reason, I could not fall asleep.  I tried sorting out my feelings by venting to my husband, but all the poor guy wanted to do was snooze.  After a few minutes, I gave up and decided to try closing my eyes.

When I finally relaxed, a thought came to my mind. No, not just a thought…a chapter.  In the five seconds it took me to gain consciousness again, I had conjured up a full chapter outline in my mind.  All I had to do was write it down, since I knew that such a genius idea would fly out of my head quite quickly.

There was only one problem: my journal was in my purse…in the other room, and not by my bedside.

Did I really have to get out of bed to write down my fantastic ideas?

Then I remembered: we’d brought the mail into our apartment, and we received a letter that had come in an envelope.  That envelope had enough blank space for me to write the sketch of Chapter 4!

I groped around in the dark, trying to find the envelope that I had tossed on the floor.  My husband leaned over and asked what I was doing, since I was moving the bed in the process. “It’s OK, honey,” I whispered, “just trust me.”  He is not one who values writing as much as breathing, but he did respect my need to get my thoughts on paper.  Finally, I found the envelope on which I could release the thoughts that had been caged inside my mind.

And now, the outline of Chapter 4* is safely written on two sides of said envelope.  Now expanding on my ideas, especially on a Thursday night, has been like pulling teeth.  But it’s fun, trust me!

 

*Chapter 4, as well as the preceding chapters, will be available to read once Chapters 5-31 are rewritten.  Stay tuned!