Tag: inspiration

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Wisdom Wednesday

When Fresh Water Looks Familiar

We just set up a television in our office to display a calm waterfall scene.  So far, the scene has managed to distract me from getting work done because it is so relaxing!  My eyes are drawn to the water spewing out of the waterfall.  How does the water look so fresh every time, but the water is never replaced by an outside force (well, obviously, besides rain in real life, but in this picture, there is no sight of rain anywhere).

I feel like the word of God is accurately portrayed in the vision of a waterfall.

I’ve heard people ask for a fresh word from the Lord.  We want to hear something new from God, not something that we’ve heard before.  We’ve been following His direction about an issue for several months, and we need something new to follow.

Isn’t that so much like our culture, to always expect the new and unfamiliar?

Come on, God!  Let’s get on with it.

God really challenged my belief when I was brought to read Psalm 23.  Let me tell you, if I could get a Masters in a verse or passage in the Bible, it would either be Philippians 4:6-7 (thank you, anxiety) or Psalm 23.  I had to memorize Psalm 23 for one of my classes in my undergrad.  I had done a Bible study on Psalm 23.  I heard a speaker talk about Psalm 23 during another one of my Bible studies.  I had studied sheep and shepherds and understand the importance of the sheep and the shepherds.  I studied each and every word out of the study.  I analyzed every, single, verse.  I sucked the verse dry, as if it were a hose with a limited amount of water.

So, why was God leading me back to read it again?  Didn’t I already graduate from Psalm 23?  Where was my fresh word?  Where was God going to meet me?

I read the chapter, and nothing in particular stuck out to me.

But that is exactly what I learned.

See, I approach God with what I want Him to teach me.  I approach God expecting Him to speak to me, expecting a fresh word, expecting His Word to bend and mold so that I could be satisfied with new information.  But I realized that God isn’t going to change His Word for me.  He isn’t going to feed me new food when He has already provided me my daily bread.

When the Israelites wandered through the desert, they got sick of the manna that the Lord was miraculously providing them daily.  The LORD was literally making bread fall from Heaven, and the Israelites were mad that they had to have manna again.  They were getting sick of it.  They were so numb to the miracles of God that they had forgotten that their provision truly was a miracle.

Instead of expecting a fresh word from the LORD, I should be grateful every time I approach God’s Word because God speaks to me through His Word.  Even if He keeps repeating “I love you” or “I will provide what you need,” God is speaking to me.  Psalm 23 may be a familiar word, but the word will always be true.  No matter if I’m about to walk into a difficult season, if I’m walking through a difficult season, or I just came out of a difficult season.  I’ve learned through time that the LORD is my shepherd.  Even though I can believe that now, there have been times in my life where I’ve really had to trust God to provide financially or emotionally, and I’ve seen Him provide money for me when I need it, as well as peace when I was going through a panic attack.

In that moment I was getting a reminder of the times that God had revealed Himself to me as shepherd, and has taken me through the hard times.  If I was expecting a fresh word, I would have missed the wonderful lesson that God wanted to show me.  When we approach God’s Word, let’s not be expectant of a fresh word.  Let’s be humble, teachable, and let God speak to us through His Word.

Photo by Robert Lukeman on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Grace Covers Our Happily Ever After

There is a lie from our culture that says that once we have a husband, everything is going to be okay.  We struggle with sin, and we feel ashamed and unworthy, but once that Prince Charming comes on his white horse to pick us up, we’re clean and we no longer struggle.  Friend, my Prince Charming came a long time ago, and His name is Jesus.  I didn’t need my husband to rescue me, and even if I did, he did not (and cannot) make me perfect.

Even after you’ve found what our culture calls your “Prince Charming,” your marriage will not instantly be a happily ever after.

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we had a lot of internal (between the two of us) and external (from other people) conflict while planning.  I thought that all the conflict would be resolved once we crossed the finish line into marriage.

But it didn’t go quite like that.

Once we made it back from our honeymoon, once the drama of wedding planning was officially over…we looked at each other and thought, now what? Although the Bible says that two become one flesh when we get married, we still felt like separate people.  We still had our own agendas, our own habits, and our own traditions to maintain.  Where did this whole marriage thing fit in?

On Sunday, it will be our one year anniversary.  The other day, we were thinking about the past year.  I realized how much we had learned in just one year.  What was difficult for us before was still difficult, but it is a lot easier now.  What was impossible for us before was now thinkable, and we know it will only get better in time.  After one year, we now communicate better.  After one year, we now have shorter fights.  After one year, we now strategically pray for each other and know how to ask for what we need.  After one year, we have realized more about becoming one flesh.

We should have a strong foundation in Christ when we go into marriage, but we should not expect that everything will go according to plan.  We don’t have to worry if we make a mistake in our marriage, as long as we learn from them to improve for the future.  It’s not the end of the world if we fight and use words that we, according to pre-marital counselors, should never use.  Our marriage isn’t going to fail just because we skipped out on date night.  We’re not terrible people if we go over budget every once in a while.  Our habits, conflicts, and communication styles can change, because God is constantly changing us.  While we seek to do everything right in our marriage, when we fall short, we can rely on God’s grace to keep us together.

Now that we’re nearing the end of our first year of marriage, we can look back and see all that God has done in our marriage from the beginning.  But we also understand that we’re not marriage experts.  Looking back on our first year, we can plan ahead for the next year.  How can we communicate even better?  How can we make our quality time even more meaningful?  How can we resolve conflict in such a way that we both win?  How can we make better decisions that accommodate both of our needs?

Marriage does not make everything better.  As a matter of fact, marriage exposes the flaws that we have so that we can work toward making them better.  Marriage takes time, and time takes patience on the part of both the husband and the wife.  Celebrate your successes together, while also looking at how you can both improve.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Wrapped in His Arms: My Story of Singleness

I want to encourage some singles who may be wondering why God isn’t answering their prayers for a husband/wife.  While I’m not God and I can’t speak for Him, I can speak of what God taught me during my time as a single woman.

I had a crush on a different guy from the time I started preschool basically until shortly before I met my husband.  I just wanted to know what it felt like to be loved and to have a person.  Unfortunately, whenever I liked a guy, he did not like me back, and whenever a guy liked me, I did not like him back.  There would be days where I thought the guys that I liked actually liked me back, and I would get super excited that maybe I’d finally get a boyfriend.  Then I’d find out that he had a girlfriend, or that he was just trying to be friendly.  I would spend several weeks wondering why I wasn’t good enough for him, and what I had to change so that he would like me.  After those weeks were over, I would get over him, and then another guy would come into my life.

During this time, I was still following God.  It wasn’t like God was punishing me, or that I was pushing God away because He wasn’t answering my prayers.  I still attended church, I still read the Bible, and I still sought fellowship with other believers.  I knew God was in control, and I loved Him, but the desire for a boyfriend was like a constant poking at my side.  When I would have moments of loneliness, I would put on some worship music and cry.  I wouldn’t even have words.  When I did have words, I would journal pages and pages about my loneliness, ending with the reassurance that God loved me.

I clearly remember the day when I was done.

I was in church, sitting with one of my best friends.  We sang “Revelation Song.” Although I’ve sang this song hundreds of times, these words from the chorus stuck out to me: “You are my everything, and I will adore You.”  I broke into tears realizing that Jesus really was my everything.  I had been placing my faith in a boyfriend for so long that I forgot where my faith actually belonged.

In that short song, I prayed that Jesus would have my heart.  I told Him that He could have it all.  I told Him I would wait as long as He wanted me to wait for a boyfriend.  I was content having it be just me and Him.

That Tuesday, I met my husband.

I was so in shock that God had sent me a man so soon that I didn’t trust my husband at first.  I thought he was a distraction from the plan that God had for me.  But, after praying and seeking counsel from friends and family, I realized that God really did send this guy for me.  We quickly got engaged and married, before I could even blink.  And God has used him to heal me from my past and to feel the love that God intended for me to have.

When my husband and I sit together in church, he’ll put his arm around me.  After seeing couples together in church, I’d always wanted a guy who would put his arm over my chair.  A few weeks ago, God revealed to me that’s what He was doing when those other guys I wanted wouldn’t chase after me.  He had His arm around me, protecting my heart from the guys who didn’t love me in the way He intended.

So, if you’re discontent in your singleness, let me encourage you to think of your relationship with God like the featured image: walking through life with your father holding your hand.  She’s got the doll in her hand, but her focus is really on her father, and on what is in front of her.

Our God is jealous for us, and He desires us to treasure Him above all else.  Remind your soul that Jesus truly is your everything.  And watch how God works in your life.

Photo by Carly Rae Hobbins on Unsplash

Categories
Wisdom Wednesday

Feeling Overwhelmed?

I’m writing this post after an overwhelming day.  I woke up, left late for work (but by the grace of God made it to work on time), worked eight hours straight under pressure, had a wicked stomachache (which is an absolute nightmare for someone with a fear of throwing up), dealt with crazy drivers on the way home, quickly ate dinner with my husband, and then washed the dishes for two hours.  All the while, I tried to keep a smile on my face and plow through the day without having a breakdown.

Trust me when I say, I know what it’s like to be overwhelmed.  I honestly feel like God puts me in these situations not only to grow me, but to encourage someone else who may also be feeling overwhelmed.  So, if you’re overwhelmed, this one’s for you!

For a long time, I wished that the craziness would stop and that I could just live at peace.  I thought that if I just worked a little bit harder, spent time with the right people, and prayed a little more, I would sort of get to the next level of life, which is the relaxing time.  My older friends lovingly pointed out that the craziness never stops, that life will grow busier and busier as I progress.  This fact honestly just makes me want to dig my face in my hands and cry for a little bit.

What if I told you that God actually wants you to be overwhelmed?

I looked through the Scriptures to find out what to do when I’m overwhelmed.  Although I wish that I could have found evidence that God wants to completely eliminate our chaos, what I’ve found is that God actually wants us to be overwhelmed.  Think about it: Do you think Abraham was overwhelmed when God called him and his wife to start a new life in a foreign land?  Do you think Jacob was overwhelmed when he had twelve kids and two quarreling wives, and he eventually thought his son was dead?  Do you think Gideon was overwhelmed when God shrunk his army from 22,000 to 300 to fight an army that was considered innumerable?  Do you think David was overwhelmed when Saul literally vowed on his life to kill him? (David was so overwhelmed that he wrote several psalms about his experience!)  Do you think Jesus was overwhelmed when He sweat drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane?

Friend, if you’re overwhelmed, you’re in good company.

When you are at the end of your rope, that’s when God reveals His strength to hold you up.  When you are running on empty, that’s when God wants you to run to Him.  When you feel like there’s no hope, that’s when God wants you to find hope in Him.  When you’re overwhelmed, that’s when you need to take a deep breath (in through your nose, out through your mouth) and pray that God would give you what you need in that situation.  And when He reveals Himself to you, you realize that your problems aren’t so big anymore.  That’s when your faith in God grows.

So, if being overwhelmed is supposed to happen, how come it feels so wrong?

The difference between being overwhelmed in the way we understand it and being overwhelmed in the way God understands it is the source of our overwhelming.  In other words, what overwhelms us defines whether or not we can live at peace.  Being overwhelmed by the things of this world (our jobs, our families, our school, our health, our chores, etc.) will drain us, but being overwhelmed by God will fill us.

When the people of the Bible were overwhelmed, what did they do?  They looked up. They remembered that their Heavenly Father was bigger than anything they could face. As Abraham walked, God revealed all the land that He had created, the land that Abraham’s descendants would one day inherit.  When Jacob had doubts, God wrestled with him and overtook him, reminding Jacob of the Lord’s mighty strength.  When Gideon doubted that God could use the weakest member of the smallest clan of Israel, God used him and 300 willing men to defeat an innumerable army. When David was overwhelmed, he meditated on the greatness of God, and it brought him peace.  When Jesus was overwhelmed to the point of death, He spent the last few hours of His life on Earth praying for God’s will to be done.

If you’re overwhelmed, you’re in good company.  You’re also in good hands.  If you trust in God, He will guide you in the way you should go.  When you’re feeling overwhelmed, look up at Him and remember that what you are facing is no match for your great God.

Oh, and did I mention how I actually made it through the day today?  I started the day with worship.  My commute to work was so much easier knowing that God was with me in that car.  The prayers I prayed and the moments I shared with Him in the morning planted the seeds of hope that I needed for the rest of the day.  I sat in the car, overwhelmed by God, and not overwhelmed by my circumstances.

Next week, I will address practical steps to handle stress in the heat of the moment.  But for now, I think it’s time for bed!

Photo by Rich Lock on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

My Husband is Not My Everything

About a year ago, my husband (who was my fiance at the time) woke up with a serious migraine.  He had never had a migraine before, so his mother and I brought him to Urgent Care to make sure he was okay.  The physician gave my husband a shot that was supposed to help his headache, but ended up making him nauseous.  I wanted to be there for him, but I have a fear of throwing up that makes it traumatic for me to even listen to someone gagging.  Knowing this, my husband told me to leave the room because he felt like he was going to throw up.  I didn’t want to leave him.  I wanted to prove that I could be there to support him.  I wanted my love for him to be stronger than my limits.  I wanted everyone to know that I was willing to be my husband’s everything.

But the minute he started to gag, I involuntarily bolted out of the room before he could start vomiting.

The rest of the day, I felt so guilty for leaving him there.  He ended up having to go to the hospital because they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him.  When I found out, I was on my way to my sister’s house to celebrate Father’s Day with my family.  There was nothing I could do but pray and enjoy my time with my dad and siblings.  Eventually, I did get to see my husband in the hospital, bring him some pizza, and keep him company.

This may be an extreme example, but God used this moment to teach me a valuable lesson: I’m not meant to be my husband’s everything.  God used my husband’s parents, the doctors, and our family members to minister to my husband in a way that I was not able to at the time.

It’s a cute idea to say that my husband completes me.  But do you realize what that looks like?  Just think about what it would be like for my husband to be everything for me.  He would be a mind-reader so that I feel understood, a fitness instructor to motivate me to work out, a literary coach to make sure that my writing is top notch, a pillow for when I can’t sleep at night, my alarm clock for when I want to sleep all day, my chauffeur, my chef, my resume-builder, and of course, the guy that helps me know I’m loved!

So basically, if my husband were my everything, I would have no responsibility, and I would have no need for anyone else in my life.

But that’s not how God created us.

You see, my husband can’t be my number one, because God is my number one.  God is the only One who can complete me.  Colossians 2:10 says that I are complete in Christ.  Second Corinthians 1:3 says that God comforts me when I need to be comforted.  Matthew 22:37 says that I am to love the Lord with all I am first, and then I love others and myself.  The love that I have for my husband is just an overflow of the love that God has given me.  God is love, and I love because He first loved me.

A relationship with God is most important in order to find contentment, peace, and joy in your life.  Only after establishing your relationship with God can you then have a successful relationship with your spouse.  If you try to put your husband first, you will end up looking to him for things that only God can perfectly give you.

An example of this in my own marriage is quality time.  My husband and I spend plenty of time together, but I still get sad whenever he leaves for work or whenever he wants to see his friends.  It’s obvious that quality time is my love language!  When I feel lonely and expect my husband to stay home with me, I take out my Bible or my journal and I pour my heart before the Lord, knowing that He will never leave me or forsake me.

Gaining insight from other people also helps my marriage in addition to my well-being.  I have a small group of women that I can call when my husband just isn’t understanding girly issues.  My husband has friends that understand his love for video games and can just chill with him.  When we spend time with other people, we take the load off of each other, and have more to talk about when we actually do spend time together! (For more information, check out my blog on separation here).

May you be united to the Lord in love and peace, and may your union to Him bring you even closer to your spouse!

 

Photo by India Tupy on Unsplash

Categories
Throwback Thursday

#ThrowbackThursday to the Desires of My Heart

I wrote this blog on my previous blog five years ago.  I was going to put the site on here, but it looks like my Blogspot account was deleted! Thank God I copied and pasted it before I lost all of the other content.  Enjoy the musings of a single young woman, a yearning college student with her whole life ahead of her!

The Desires of Your Heart
(Originally posted on August 9, 2012 on Blogspot)

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4, NIV

 
But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.-Matthew 6:33, AMP

Did you ever wonder if you were completely following God’s plan?  Being a college student, I see people constantly asking themselves if God actually wanted them to major in such and such.  Students change their major numerous times to find that perfect plan that God has for them.  Although it is great to seek God’s counsel in your life, while considering what God wanted you to do with your life, did you ever consider what you wanted to do with your life?

For the past two days, God has been waking me up with the desire to study Psalm 37:4.  The first time that God woke me up with this verse, I had a dream that I was talking to one of my friends about the calling on his life.  He was really worried that he had chosen a major in college because it was what he wanted to do, not what God wanted him to do.  He felt that he had wasted his time in college studying at an expensive school instead of pursuing a degree at a Bible college or seminary.  In my dream, I was telling him that God gives us the desires of our hearts.  Although God has a plan for us, He gives us interests and uses those interests in His plan.

I have mentioned before that I am studying TESOL in a small Christian college.  Before I started going to this school, I had wanted to be a writer.  I had a passion for writing.  Writing was what I wanted to share with the world; I wanted to write books that children would enjoy.  I loved reading, and I wanted to give children something to read so that they could be entertained just like I was by books. Although I had felt that writing was in my future, when I went on my first missions trip, I felt God calling me to be a missionary.  As a result of this call, I completely threw away my desire to be a writer.

Over time, I realized that I still loved writing.  During my first semester at college, my friends would constantly complain about writing papers.  I could not relate; even if it was a research paper about the long history of the Baptist church, I loved getting my ideas written out in words.  I had no problems helping my friends write their papers for classes.

When I transferred to my current school, I learned that many missionaries are now pursuing a degree in teaching English abroad.  When I first heard of TESOL, I ran from it.  I had stuffed my desires deep into my heart, hoping never to have them touched again.  God had given me the desire to be a missionary, and that should supersede my desire to be a writer.  That semester, I was required to take a class about starting a transforming spiritual journey with God.  My professor confessed that he had liked art as a kid, but he had suppressed his love for arts.  Later in life, he had explained, God had told him to start writing, singing, playing music, and painting again.  God had given him the desires of his heart; He had given him the desire to creatively express himself and share his emotions with the world.

When my professor said that to us, it spoke to me.  God asked me, “Why are you hiding your love for writing?  I gave you that love.”  I did not want to start writing yet.  I wrestled with what God was saying to me for about a year.  As I have posted before, after starting a job at the Writing Center, I realized that I could use my love for writing to help students who did not like writing.  I could still use my ideas to inspire others to have a voice.  Nothing made me happier than knowing that I could please God and still enjoy life.

The second time God woke me up with Psalm 37:4, I was wondering when my husband was going to come into my life.  About two months ago, I broke off a relationship that I had had with my boyfriend for two years, and I feel that God wants me to wait before I go back into another relationship.  God has taught me that being in a relationship takes time and energy that I do not have as a college student.  However, the yearnings for a husband are still there.

During my quiet time, I desired to know the meaning of the verse.  I looked in my study Bible for answers, but it had almost nothing to say about Psalm 37:4.  Finally, I asked the Holy Spirit to bring light to the words I was reading.  As I started saying the words to the verse out loud, I thought of Matthew 6:33: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  These words from Jesus are like the New Testament version of Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  As I started thinking of this, I felt the sense that desires are not wrong.  To act on that desire and choosing to ignore God’s plan for me right now would be a sin, but the hope that I will be married in the future is not a sin.

It amazes me that something could be a sin just because it is not what God has for you at that time.  For example, it is simply showing love if you have sex with your spouse, but it is sexual immorality if you have sex with a stranger.

As Jesus said, we need to seek first God’s interests.  Your love for God should shine in everything you do.  Obviously, because of your sinful nature, you have desires that go against God’s will for your life.  However, by surrendering your desires to God, you can discover that the wants that you have actually stem from a necessity to know God more.  Instead of praying for that perfect man or woman to come into your life, acknowledge your desire to be loved and to show love to someone else in return, and be encouraged that the Creator of the universe loves you enough to listen to your prayers and to forgive you.

After I meditated on my desire for a husband, I gave it over to God.  I declared that, even if I did not get a husband, I would still serve Him and honor Him in everything that I did.  When I meet someone, I proclaimed to God, I would love him with God’s love and I would honor God in our relationship.  Later that day, I went to my church and I saw two couples that are truly in love with each other.  Instead of being grouchy and asking God where my Prince Charming was, I stopped and admired what these two couples had.  I had hope that, if God had someone for me, we would love each other like the members of these couples did.  Instead of lusting for a husband to come into my life immediately, I had hope for the future.  I had hope that God had given me the desire to love someone unconditionally, and that in the future I will have the opportunity to do so.

Think about the desires you have and surrender them to God.  You do not have to stop doing what you love, but you do have to let God take control of those desires.  God knows that you want things for the future, and He loves you.  In His timing, if you put Him first in everything you do, He will give you more than anything you could ever imagine having on your own.

 

Photo by Jade on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Why Those You Love Most Hurt the Most

Why is it so easy to be hurt by the ones who love us most?

Nothing gives me more heartache than hurting or bothering those I love.  This is mainly due to the fact that I unintentionally hurt them.  Sometimes I say things with the purest intentions–making a joke, stating the facts, or relaying a message–and the ones I love leave the conversation confused, angry, or sad.

When my husband hurts me, intentionally or unintentionally, it hurts.  When I hurt my husband, intentionally or unintentionally, it hurts.  We both feel the hurt, whether we’re the victim or the attacker.  When one of us is hurt, there is no victory; there’s just pain that needs to be healed.

One night after a tiny squabble, I lay in bed with my arms folded over my chest and my knees curled into my stomach.  Any touch from my husband would just make me withdraw within myself.  My stomach was turning and my mind was racing.  If I moved a muscle, my husband might try to reach over and touch me.  I didn’t want him close because I knew I was wrong.  As a result of my fear, he was deprived of the attention that he craved.  However, I knew I hurt him, and any interacting with my husband would remind me of my shortcomings.

Those close to us are meant to make us better people by pointing out our shortcomings in love.

I was talking about this idea with one of my co-workers when I first got married.  Why is it that people we live with get on our nerves the most?  He reminded me of Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (NIV).  If you look up videos on what it looks like to sharpen iron, a lot of them involve loud noises, fire/coals, and a giant metal object getting all of up in the face of the piece of iron.  To put it in human terms, a person gets in your face and points out your flaws, brings out something ugly in you, and (ideally) helps you deal with your weaknesses.  And who do you trust enough to get that close to us and see us in our most vulnerable state?

Your spouse.

Unfortunately, your spouse will hurt you.  Unfortunately, you will hurt your spouse.  But when either of you feel hurt, you can use it to bring you closer to God and to each other. Pray that God uses this pain to heal and transform your marriage.  Be honest with Him about the severity of your pain or frustration, but trust that God is able to redeem your situation for His glory.  Trust your spouse to speak the truth in love, and pray about how to respond to his/her admonishing.  In the same way, if something bothers you about your spouse, pray about how to tell him/her what you notice in a loving, gracious manner.

Humans were never meant to complete us.  We are all fallen images of perfection, and we unfortunately make mistakes that affect the ones we love.  In the midst of these shortcomings, we can trust that God will never fail us.

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

Categories
Throwback Thursday

#ThrowbackThursday to When I Wanted to Give Up

I remember when I wanted to quit my retail job three years ago.

Let’s just say, my calling was definitely not folding clothes and handling money all day.  I had a Teaching English as a Foreign Language Certificate and a Bachelor of Arts in Intercultural Studies under my belt, and I was itching to travel, teaching English and writing for God’s glory.  If I could do the exact opposite of that, I felt like it would have been something similar to folding clothes and handling money!

Eventually, my time at the mall came to a close, and I was on to bigger and better things.  I started working at a bookstore, and then at my current job as an Administrative Assistant.  Despite my disgust at the minimum wage jobs that I had in the past (except for my job as a Consultant at the Writing Center!) I thank God that He used each of those transitional jobs to bring me one step closer to the person that He has called me to be.

I feel like we are trained to always wait for the next best thing.  From an early age, we go from preschool to kindergarten, then prepare for elementary school in kindergarten, then prepare for middle school in elementary school, then prepare for high school in middle school, then prepare for college in high school, then prepare for grad school in your undergrad, and then prepare for your full-time career in college.  We’re always preparing, but what are we preparing for?

The point of the article I wrote a few years ago was that no matter what season we are in, we should always give our best.  If you have senioritis and just want to graduate, take a deep breath and pause.  You only get to be a high school/college senior once; live it up!  If you are single and just want to find someone, take a deep breath and pause.  Once you are married, you have a long life ahead of you with that person; learn to take advantage of your free time and wholehearted devotion to God. If you are in an in-between job and just want to quit, take a deep breath and pause.  God has given you a unique opportunity right where you are, and He is training you through it!

So, how can we give our best in the season we are in, even if we don’t feel our best?

Be thankful.  God is sovereign and God is faithful.  He has allowed you to have this job/relationship status/apartment/time at school for a reason.  Think about what blessings can come out of the situation.

Be honest.  It may be difficult for you to praise God for this season.  Let Him know that!  He loves you.  He would rather have an honestly angry person than a fake happy person.  Plus, sharing your struggles with God brings you closer to Him.  Continue to stay connected with God, even when you don’t understand where He’s leading you.

Be surrounded.  As a woman in my mid-20s, I know I’m not alone in my struggle to find contentment.  People my age are all in different stages of life.  Some are single, while others are married with kids.  Some are stuck in part-time jobs, while others are well into their careers.  Some can travel, while others are trying to budget.  When I surround myself with Christian women who are fighting the same fight as me, it encourages me not to give up.

Be joyful.  Even in the midst of trials, we are called to be joyful.  Joy, I’ve learned, is meant to be shared.  If you’re at a job that isn’t exactly your calling, it might be a challenge to always have a smile on your face.  However, joy changes the atmosphere.  As God changes your perspective, others will notice, and they will be encouraged to find joy as well.

All of these points focus on becoming.  Through trials and transitions, we become more thankful, we become more honest, we become more encouraged, and we become more joyful.  God is more focused on changing our hearts than changing our circumstances.  Let Him grow you through these uncomfortable times.

 

Thank you to Unsplash for always providing great stock photos for me to use for my Featured Image.  This one was by Dhruva Reddy on Unsplash

 

Categories
Wisdom Wednesday

What Wisdom Do You Share?

Talking (or posting on social media) does not always produce wisdom. Proverbs 10:19 says that where words are many, sin is not absent.  The more we talk, the more likely we are to sin.

Are you sinning with your words?

Here are some reasons why people generally post on social media, or give advice that may or may not be helpful:

  • I want to be heard. Social media makes it so easy for us to feel important. When we receive information, we have a desire to share it, simply so that we can hear the sound of our own voices.  Have you ever talked and thought to yourself, “I have no idea what I’m even saying, but if I stop now, it will look awkward”?  You’re the type that has a lot to say, but may not be saying much at all. You may be motivated by the desire to feel significant, which, in and of itself, is not a bad desire. However, when you seek approval from others, it not only puts an unhealthy responsibility on them, but also an unhealthy attachment in you.
  • I want to put someone down.  So that I do not act as a hypocrite, I will not call anyone out when I bring up this point. However, I challenge you to ask yourself: When you post on social media, when you retaliate, when you wave your finger at another person, what good comes out of putting that person down?  You claim you’re trying to educate the ignorant ones in your sphere of influence, but the minute you start insulting them, they don’t want to listen to you.  You will no longer be teaching them, but using them as a sounding board to express your own frustrations and sound important (see previous bullet point).
  • I want to promote my business.  In essence, there is nothing wrong with this.  I mean, how else are you going to get the word out and make money?  As a writer and a blogger, I have to somehow weave my writing into conversations so that others will know about it and read it.  But I, along with my fellow artists and business owners, must consider my motivation behind promoting my products.  I write to encourage those around me to find freedom in Christ, especially from anxiety and discontentment (two struggles that I have overcome through Christ).  Fitness trainers can promote their services, not just to make money, but to provide others with the tools they need to live a healthy lifestyle.  Business owners can promote their products, not just to meet a quota, but to improve the lives of others through what they sell.  Advertising is not unwise, as long as the person comes before the product.

As I shared in my post last week, true wisdom comes from knowing Jesus Christ personally and learning the Word of God (the Bible).  That being said, here are the ways you can share godly wisdom with your loved ones:

  • Encourage them with Scripture. I want to stress the importance of keeping Bible verses in context.  Jesus promises to reward the faithful, for example, but in light of the rest of Scripture, that reward is not monetary.  There are plenty of examples of Scripture that has been used out of context, but if you do your research, you’ll be able to understand how to share Bible verses with others.
  • Humbly give your testimony. Sometimes the greatest evidence of our wisdom is our own personal experience.  On college essays or in debates, personal experience is considered a reasonable source.  You may not be an expert on psychology, but you can share how deep breathing or self-affirmation has helped you cope with anxiety.  Please keep in mind, what works for you might not work for others.  All you can do is tell them what has helped you, and hope that your advice at least points them in the right direction.
  • Pray. James 1:5 says that God freely gives wisdom to those who ask.  Your friend who is earnestly seeking wisdom could receive guidance and counsel if you simply lifted him/her up in prayer.
  • Nothing.  When you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything.  It is better to say nothing than to say something foolish and steer them in the wrong direction.  Sometimes the only support your friend needs is a listening ear, a hug, or a fun activity to get his/her mind off of the situation.

Colossians 3:14 tells us to do all things in love. No matter if you’re giving advice, receiving advice, or simply being there for a friend, do everything with the knowledge that God loves you and with the charge from God to love others.

Categories
Marriage

What’s New? Nothing, and That’s OK.

It seems like everyone is getting engaged and having babies, and I’m all like

IMG_20170705_220846_834
My sink is clean!

 

Seriously, my husband and I are both incredibly happy for the people in our lives that are getting engaged, getting married, getting pregnant, and having babies (even having a second child!).  We have grown to appreciate and celebrate with the people who have exciting things going on around us.  Thank you for sharing your blessings with us!

After not seeing my family or friends for a while, they ask the question: “What’s new?”  It may be my own insecurity, or it may be the way our society is nowadays, but I never feel content unless I actually give them some news about what’s going on in my life.

But do you want to know my honest answer?  Nothing.

The past two years we’re literally an emotional roller coaster for me and my husband.  Between transitions in our jobs, places of residence, marital status, and physical health, it’s as if we’ve lived three lives together in the two-and-a-half years we’ve known each other.  Every week, we had new news.

“I’m moving into my first apartment.”

“I just started a new job.”

“I just got promoted.”

“I have shingles.”

“We’re engaged.” (And all the news that comes with planning a wedding).

“I have a new job.”

“We have new friends.”

“We’re involved in new ministries at the church.”

“We’re married.”

“We’re going on vacation.”

“We have a new apartment.”

“I’m getting a promotion.”

Because of all these changes, we have become discontent with waiting, as we’ve been trained by our experiences to always anticipate the next best thing.  Our prayers have transitioned from “Thank you, God,” to “What next, God?”  And after praying for several months, God has finally answered the cry of our hearts for His direction:

“It’s OK to be normal.”

We don’t feel led.  We don’t have enough money.  We don’t have enough time.  We have our hands full.  These are all excuses that people use to not live their dreams.  But what if God has so crafted our circumstances–our limited budget, our busy schedules, our responsibilities, His silence in our prayers–so that we could step back and see that we have enough right where we are?

My exciting news is that I don’t have dishes in the sink. My exciting news is that we’re cleaning out our closet and getting rid of clothes we haven’t worn in several years.  My exciting news is that we spent half of what we thought we would while grocery shopping.  My exciting news is that I rewrote a chapter of my book today.  Our exciting news is that every day is a beautiful adventure, where we learn more about each other through household chores, grocery shopping, and living normal.

And that’s OK.

If you find you’re discontent, if you don’t hear God answering your prayers, may you find encouragement in the normal.  Whether you’re single, engaged, newlywed, trying to have kids, struggling to keep up with your numerous kids, an empty nester, or beyond, you have a reason to celebrate.  That celebration might not be over the opportunity to travel, finding out the gender of your baby, or exchanging rings with the love of your life, but if God is with you, you can celebration that you literally have everything you need in this very moment.  God is enough; maybe you needed to read that in this very moment!

On Thursday, I’ll be talking more about this in the context of a post I wrote in 2014.