Categories
anxiety

Being Present

Each day of this past week brought another exciting event. Monday was GEMS night, a wonderful opportunity to see my sweet girls. Tuesday, I went out to dinner with my summer small group and had our last meeting together. Wednesday, I went to see For KING & COUNTRY again, since they happened to be in town. Thursday, I had work at the Writing Center, which is truly my dream job. Friday through Sunday, I was in Connecticut at a writing retreat. Every single event that took place that week invoked enough excitement in me to carry me through the rest of the year.

During this past week, I truly felt impressed to be present no matter where I was. It was so easy to think about the concert when I was helping the girls with their crafts. It was so easy to think about the retreat while For KING & COUNTRY did a slow song. And even when I thought I had nothing left to look forward to, I found myself comparing my experience at the writing retreat last year to my experience this year.

Being present is so hard, but it’s worth it.

It is difficult for us to focus on the present when we have so many distractions that entice us to crave the next best thing. We’re content in our marriages, and then all of a sudden we see our friends buying houses and having babies, and suddenly all we can think about is that special someday. We’re content in our jobs, and then all of a sudden an ad comes up that tells us we can basically do nothing and get paid millions of dollars an hour. We’re content at the concert, the retreat, the gathering, until they make announcements for next year’s event.

Being present is a mentality. When you feel your thoughts start to wander, catch them quick and get back to the present. The people in your life, and the projects on your to-do list, deserve your attention.

As a writer, it’s particularly hard for me because I always have a second thought that follows my current thought: Will this fit into a book or a story somewhere? Or, when I’m trying to listen to a friend, do I have any information in my information archive that can help her? Inspiration is difficult to come by (we can blame distractions for that, too), so any chance that inspiration strikes, I want to be able to write it down and flesh it out so I can make it into a story.

This passage from Isaiah reminds me to be present:

“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”
-Isaiah 43:18-19

This encouragement from the LORD tells us not to focus on the past or the future. God is doing a new thing in your life right now, and He will make a way when it’s time! Until then, you can thank Him for working in your life and for walking alongside you wherever you go. The next best thing is right now. Don’t procrastinate your enjoyment of life.

Maybe this upcoming week I won’t see my favorite band or meet a bunch of awesome Christian writers, but God has great plans for me even now. Even when life doesn’t seem exciting for me, I thank God that He is with me and He is doing something right now. That alone is exciting to me. So no matter what I end up doing this week, I choose to be present. I choose to invest in those around me. I choose to give my undivided attention to the people and projects that need it.

Who’s with me?

Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

The Beauty of Letting Go

Why do we have so many fights with our spouses? Why do we keep having the same arguments over and over again?

Because we don’t want to let it go.

I could stop right there. But I don’t want to let it go. I want to hold on to my anger, my hurt, my rightness. My husband can’t get away with saying something like that to me! After all the times I have been so nice to him, how could he speak that way to me?

Oh, right…I haven’t been very nice to him.

I thank God that He lets my sins go. As far as the east is from the west does he remove our sins from us (Psalm 103:12). Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross gave us grace, which means that God does not hold our sins against us anymore. Praise be to God!

Since God forgave me, why is it so difficult to forgive my husband?

We all have excuses about why we say the things we do. We don’t mean to hurt our loved ones, and yet the wrong words come out all the time. From a women’s perspective, I admit that I use more excuses than my husband because I tend to have more times of the month that I’m irritable. But finally, after nearly two years of marriage, I’ve learned to shut my mouth long enough to listen to my husband. He’ll tell me he had a long day of work, and then he’ll say something totally rude to me about an hour later. He’ll tell me that he didn’t get enough sleep last night, and then a few minutes later he’ll give me an attitude. No, he doesn’t usually come out and say, “Sorry, honey, I just had a long day at work and I’m having a hard time controlling my tongue” (because who actually says that when they’re so tired they can’t even make sense of reality?). But I’ve learned that his insults are out of character for him, so I can make an assumption that he’s probably just having an off day.

Although he doesn’t have the same excuses as me about why he’s irritable, he has every right to be tired, hungry, or upset. I can’t expect my husband to be happy all the time, even though he’s happy most of the time. When he’s not at his best, my response is to let it go.

Through devotionals and YouTube videos we’ve been watching online, we’ve learned the importance of letting go. When we hold on to grudges, they can actually put up a wall between us. We may have decided we will never separate, but even if we are together on paper, we can be separate emotionally. On a daily basis, we strive to remove any obstacle from between us so that we can thrive in our marriage and maintain our closeness.

It’s important to let it go. I want to be right, but I would rather be united with my husband, physically and emotionally, than right. Obviously, if the negative comments and insults become continuous, we would have to have a conversation about it. However, if I know he’s having a bad day and he hurts me, I can let it go.

I make it sound so easy. It’s only not easy because we have complicated it. We live in an age of entitlement, when everybody has a right to be right. We all want to be rewarded for our actions and opinions. I have a hard time letting to when I want to prove my husband wrong, but most of all, when I want to protect myself.

If you find yourself in this place, remember that the Lord is our defender. God is our strength and shield. You don’t need to prove yourself in order to be protected. When Jesus was about to be crucified, he had multiple opportunities to prove himself. He even said that he could call a legion of angels to save him (Matthew 26:53). However, he chose to trust in God. No matter what you face, big or small, it is not as big as what Jesus endured for us. We have nothing to prove; we can show love to those around us without having to protect ourselves.

Photo by Raul Varzar on Unsplash

Categories
Books

“Plot & Structure”: A Game Changer and Life Saver

I have been working on my book for four years now, and it pains me to say that I have begun my FOURTH rewrite. A book by me will be published eventually, I promise. I’d rather have a well-polished book published in five years than a thrown-together book published in five months.

Every time I think I’m done with writing this novel, I find out new information that changes everything. For some reason, I can’t just make little changes here and there. If something is wrong with my book, the whole book needs to be changed.

James Scott Bell’s Plot and Structure was what inspired this fourth round of edits. I’d love to show you all a time lapse of how my book has changed. It started as a bunch of random ideas in my journal, and then became edited random ideas from my journal typed into a Google Docs file, and then became edited random ideas that now had a plot in a Google Docs file, and is now finally (hopefully) a story put together by random ideas that now make sense because the book has, you guessed it, plot and structure.

I’ve learned through this book that I am not a structure type when it comes to writing. With everything else, I’m a type A personality, from being ten minutes early to everything, to organizing my work space every day. When I’m writing, all I want to do is start a timer and let the words fly from my brain to my fingers. I’ll often meet writers who have their characters’ back stories on post-it notes, stuck together on vision boards with strings connecting each character with each idea, setting, theme, symbol, and scene. That kind of planning makes my brain hurt, and makes writing (for me) incredibly painful.

I prefer to meet my characters midway through the book, after I’ve created a preliminary personality about them. After all, we don’t ever know everything about people when we first meet them, right? It takes time to grow a relationship and learn details about them as time progresses. That’s how my characters are formed, and that’s how I develop a story. You meet them the same time that I do, because I love to be surprised while I’m writing!

Although I learned a lot more than this simple point from the book, my one takeaway is that I can be both the outline person and the non-outline person. I can be the free spirit writer and the structured writer. A little bit of structure may help me save time on rewriting my book a million times (guilty as charged!) but a little bit of spontaneity can help the structured people be more creative in their writing.

During this fourth rewrite, I have brainstormed how I want my book to go through bullet points, rough ideas. Then, as those points come up in the story, I cross them off my list. Usually, the bullet point works for each part of the story, but if it doesn’t, I don’t use it! I’m free to create, while also free to provide structure for my book. It’s like I’m cruising on the highway, but there are guardrails on the road so I don’t drive off a cliff.

I believe this point is most helpful for those who are writing academic papers as well. You might not know where to start, but you can create an outline to give you a general idea of the direction of your paper. When you have that guideline, you can cruise through the rest of the paper; by that point, you’ll know enough about the rules to write freely!

By the time you read this, I’ll be at a writer’s conference, getting feedback for my book from wise people who have blazed the trail before me. Please keep me in your prayers as my beautiful work of art is being perfected piece by piece. I am confident that God is forming this story into one that will heal, transform, and bring hope to those who need it. Thank you for your continued support!

Categories
anxiety

The Blessing of Difficult People

On this past Marriage Monday, I discussed the first step in dealing with difficult people, and that is to develop sympathy toward them, because they are human. Since then, I’ve thought about how my life would be different if I didn’t have difficult people in my life. When I read my journal from a couple of years ago, I remembered meeting a handful of people that rubbed me the wrong way and attacked my character. Looking back, I realized how they actually helped me more than hurt me.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Think about that visual! Although the people who love us help us to mature, those who are different from us allow us to grow as well. Those people who “rub us the wrong way” are inadvertently rubbing off our mess and making us more like Jesus.

They help you gain a new perspective, which makes you question everything. I specifically had one person who I had kept at arm’s length. When I read my journal a few days ago, the memories flooded back to me about my experiences with her. One thing that she consistently did, unknowingly I’m sure, was give false testimony about me. Those who know me know that I am joyful and childlike (not childish), and I always prefer to look at the positive side. One day, I wrote in my journal that she had told me I complained too much, which is not true. She also told me one day that my joy made her depressed because she could never have what I have, which is also not true. However, although she attacked the very core of my being, instead of crumbling, I examined my heart to reflect on what I was portraying to others. Sure, I thought I was joyful, but maybe to her I complained. Maybe I desired to be childlike, but I was more rigid than I thought. Was my joy annoying? Her attacks made my reflect on my actions and attitude, which is a Biblical practice that God wants us to do on a regular basis.

They keep you humble. Difficult people remind you that you are not perfect. None of us are perfect. You want to be around the people that sing your praises all day, but trust me when I say that you also want to be around those who think you have plenty of room for improvement. At one point, this person called me out on my pride. I had a lot of pride, and I honestly still do. She helped me to see what I needed to change about my life. She also consistently reminded me how much I need Jesus, as her threats and accusations constantly kept me on my knees in prayer.

They help you to show Christ’s love. Jesus commands us to love our enemies. It is easy to love those who love us back, but what about those who don’t? (see Matthew 5:43-48). When I’m around difficult people, I close myself off and don’t want to show love to them. However, that’s not the way God calls me to live. Instead, I need to be honest with God and accept His help. God knows our hearts; He knows when we don’t love those around us. When we’re honest with Him, He equips us to love them through His everlasting, unfailing love. His love puts my love to shame.

Without those difficult people in my life, I would have never grown, at least in the ways that I have. I’ve had people criticize my writing, attack my joy, and call me out for my pride. I can’t believe that years later, I’m still thinking of the people that have hurt me, and the ways they have blessed my life. My experience with difficult people from my past also help me with the people I have in my life now. These people that I’ve lost contact with did their worst to me, and yet I’m still here and I’m still thriving. If I was able to learn to love those difficult people in my life, if I was able to “survive” every attack they threw at me, I am able to love and endure the people who surround me now. No matter how condescending, negative, and criticizing some people are in my life now, I can be confident that God is my defender and that He will grow me even through these difficult people.

If you have difficult people in your life, pray about how God can use them to grow you. Now, please understand that difficult is not abusive. If someone is being abusive to you, run. Do not endure his/her toxicity. However, difficult people are more annoying than hurtful. Allow God to reveal His love through you as you deal with these people that get under your skin.

Photo by Victor Benard on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Dealing with Difficult People

I usually don’t write disclaimers, but this is a touchy subject, and I guarantee someone is going to read this post and think that it is about him/her. This post is going to be as generic as possible. If you think I’m talking about you and how difficult you are, I’m not. I would encourage you to think instead about how you can improve your relationships with those that are difficult to you. People have confided in me about their difficult in-laws, and their spouse’s possessive friends, grandparents, grandchildren, and step children. This post is not targeted at one person. It is therapeutic for me, as well as for you, to hear how to deal with these difficult people.

So, let’s begin.

From the possessive best friend to the crazy aunt, we’ve learned to put up with our own family and friends throughout the years. However, our spouses are just meeting them for the first time, and they are wondering why these people are in our lives (meanwhile, we stopped wondering that a long time ago!). Dealing with difficult people is even more difficult when the one you love most, your spouse, doesn’t see anything wrong with their behavior.

Think about those earth-shattering events that happened in your life. When your best friend moved away. When your loved one died. When your friend steals your other friend’s boyfriend and now you have to choose sides.

Think also about those happy moments in your life. Going on a family vacation with all of your siblings. Getting hot chocolate to combat the frostbite in your toes when you took your yearly trip to Vermont. Birthday parties and graduations. College.

Both the good and the bad have shaped who you are today. How your parents raised you, where you grew up, where you went to school, who was in your friend group, and where you are now, all play a part in your outlook on life. Your husband may never know everything about your life story, but that’s what makes marriage interesting. For King and Country’s song “Pioneers” reminds me that being married to my husband is an adventure. We are called on a life-long journey to pursue each other and explore the great unknown: our fears, our hopes, our dreams, our expectations, and our hurts.

However, it’s not as fun exploring the past of your husband’s family and friends. You don’t love them like you love your husband.

Different families speak different languages. They may be speaking your native language, but the traditions and silent values are unlike how you were raised. Sure, you may learn over time that we always play UNO after dinner and you can always count on pudding pie for dessert. However, you may not see that Aunt Mary isn’t speaking to Aunt Sue, so we have to sit at tables based on whose side we’re on, and that if you show up wearing red you believe that the host is cheating on her husband. You may not see how your in-laws were raised, or how the cousins were treated, or what friend groups dissipated as a result of something that happened in high school.

The first part of learning to deal with difficult people is realizing that there is so much about them that you don’t know. You judge someone how he is now, but you don’t know how far he’s come or what he’s been through. What if there was abuse? What if there was infedelity? You may be upset that his friend won’t stop texting him, but that friend might be clinging to your husband because your husband saved him from suicide in college. You may be upset that your husband’s grandmother walks around the house in her pajamas, but she might be doing that because she’s in severe pain and any material other than cotton makes her itchy.

We can’t make excuses for people. There are some people who are just plain rude. However, the fact that they are rude does not excuse them from being a part of your life. If they are abusive, that’s a different story, but if they just get on your nerves, you still have to try. I pray that this post helps you to at least see that they don’t mean to be annoying or rude. It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it does make them seem a little more human.

If there is a particular person in your life that is causing you grief, pray for God’s grace to meet you when you interact with them.

Photo by Charnee May on Unsplash

Categories
Books

All the Feels of “Redeeming Love”

*WARNING: If you have PTSD due to sexual abuse, this post may be difficult for you to read. Proceed with caution.

If, for some reason, your emotions have been on the fritz, try reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It’s not like I have any trouble tapping into my emotions, but after reading this book, I’m pretty sure I’ve managed to feel every single emotion that the human heart could fathom.

Although this book was published in 1997, several people recommended this book to me because they know I’m writing Christian fiction. Each one of them told me it was a “good” book. Good? You all tricked me! It was exceptionally wonderful and altogether awful wrapped in five-hundred pages of an emotional roller coaster. But yeah, I guess you can describe that as “good.”

Some people did warn me that it was heavy, and I thank you for that. I just about lost my cookies on page 185.

Redeeming Love tells the story of Sarah, who was later named Angel when she was sold into prostitution at the age of eight. She finds herself in California during the California Gold Rush about ten years later, as the highest-prized prostitute in the Pair-a-Dice brothel. Through her experience dealing with customers and horrible bosses, she learns that she has no worth except what she could give to men, and that men want nothing from her except for her body. All that would change when Michael Hosea walks into her life and makes her his wife.

Without spoiling too much, the book is an example of the book of Hosea from the Bible. In that story, Hosea marries a prostitute as a means to show the people of Israel God’s love for them. When I look at Redeeming Love in that light, my heart breaks. It forces me to examine my own sin and pride, and remember how many times I have run from God and how many times I probably will still run from Him. I couldn’t help but think while reading this book that my heart is not any softer than Angel’s is.

The key in this book is the relentless love of Michael, who seeks in every moment to demonstrate God’s love to his wife. Even when she runs away, even when she commits the worst sins against him and exposes her past sins to him, he does not give up. When it is difficult for him, he turns to God and begs Him for help. His example of redeeming love helps to heal her soul. It is also obvious that God’s love is compelling him to love her, so that Angel could see the love of God and put her faith in Him.

Whenever I read a book, I like to think of my overall takeaway. So far, in the last month, two books from decades ago have made their way into my lap. Why am I reading A Handmaid’s Tale when it was written in the ’80s? Why am I reading Redeeming Love when it was written in the late ’90s? Well, I truly believe that God is challenging me to look at how much we have (or haven’t) progressed. In the ’80s, some people believed that they were one step away from a dystopia. Do we still feel that way, and if so, what can we do to change that?

Redeeming Love reminds me not to give up on those I love, even when they push me away, even when they do everything imaginable to make me angry. It also reminds me to continue to support and pray for ministries that are rescuing men, women, and children from prostitution around the world. I believe we have come a long way to show women their true worth, but I also believe that we have a long way to go. May God reveal His redeeming love to us, and help us to share that love with those around us. Amen.

Categories
anxiety

God Only Knows, But You Should Ask

For King and Country’s new song “God Only Knows” has me crying every time I watch the video. It’s been on repeat since I discovered it about a month ago. The video to this song portrays the internal battle of a woman who is about to commit suicide. Spoiler alert, at the end of the video, her friend notices something is wrong and helps her before she ends it all. God only knows what we’ve been through, because there is no way of knowing what people are going through unless we take the time to ask.

I love writing about how to overcome anxiety because it helps me to overcome anxiety. When I take my eyes off of myself and see that those around me suffer from anxiety, loneliness, and depression, I feel a little less alone. If you suffer from anxiety, take a look around. There are people who need you, even in your brokenness, because even in our brokenness and pain, God can use us to help one another.

For those who have never suffered with depression or anxiety, let me give you a tip: people who are depressed or anxious may never reach out for help. You may tell them that they can come to you any time, that your door is always open, and you’ll always be a safe place, but they will never believe you until you prove it.

There is a sense of guilt and shame around anxiety and depression. Honestly, anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Anxiety is what I feel when I’m full of energy, worried about the future, and depression is when I’m tired, worried about the past. When I tell people I’ve struggled with depression, the FIRST words out of their mouths are usually, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I wish I could communicate the shame I felt from that. Even when I talk about my depression, I feel guilty for being such a downer. Also, often, like with my anxiety, when I talk about it, the people I talk to just want to fix me, not help me.

I share that because I know I’m not alone. I have a good support system, people who I know will pray for me when I’m at my lowest. If you’re worried about me, feel free to reach out, because that’s the point of this post, but please don’t see this as a cry for help. However, there may be some people out there who have nobody, who feel like they’re trapped in their guilt and shame.

God only knows what you’ve been through, but I will do whatever it takes to be there for you and help you work through it.

I heard a sermon from Holly Furtick about giving what you want to receive. Lately, what I’ve wanted to receive is authentic connections with people, not just the casual “Hey, how are you?” I get most often from those around me. I’ve wanted my friends to hold me accountable and to celebrate God’s blessings with me. Thank God, He has provided that through the small groups I’ve been involved with at my church and through reconnecting with some friends after a busy summer.

Listening to that sermon, I wondered how often I do that for other people. I expect people to check up on me and to ask me how I’m doing, but when was the last time I sent a text to my friend asking how I could pray for her? What if my friends are battling depression or anxiety and don’t know how to ask for help? What if people, like me, are afraid of being condemned for their struggles? I can’t read their minds, so I’m going to do whatever it takes to show them that I’m here for them, and take the time to listen to them if they need help.

God only knows what is going on in our hearts, but I guarantee that someone else in your circle has pain in his/her heart too. Reach out to those around you, if you sense that they need help, and God may give you the courage to share your own struggles.

How can we know who is hurting around us? God only knows. In the video, the main character didn’t tell her friend about her plan, but her friend could see something was bothering her. Be aware of your friends and take time to pray for them. God will give you insight into how to pray for them and how to help them as needed.

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

Categories
Marriage

Love is…

The internet has fallen in love with those cute comics that describe what love is. Too often I find one on social media and instantly share it with my husband with the message, “This is SO us!” What these comics have taught me is that love can be defined by various actions, feelings, and circumstances.

Love may look different in my marriage from the way it looks in yours. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it means that we cannot compare our levels of love with our displays of love. Your husband may show love to you by surprising you with flowers, but I shouldn’t say my husband doesn’t love me because he doesn’t buy me flowers. My husband shows love to me by crafting the perfect date night for us.

Lately, I’ve discovered that love is defined differently not only in each couple, but also in each season of marriage. Here is a tribute to my 22 months of marriage using the “love is…” phrases that have described each season we’ve spent together:

When we started dating
Love is telling me that I make everything better
Love is buying me a smoothie when I have my wisdom teeth pulled
Love is walking around Burns Park
Love is unintentionally matching when we both decide to wear orange
Love is sitting and talking in Starbucks until the manager kicks us out at closing
Love is surprising each other with the perfect date night
Love is saying everything through our kisses
Love is being comfortable enough to completely and totally be myself with you

When we got engaged
Love is in the simple things
Love is juggling our time with each side of the family
Love is racing to my side when I tell you I feel like I’m going to throw up
Love is sitting with me and holding me through a panic attack
Love is counting down the hours until I see you again
Love is getting over my ginormous fear of flying when you needed me the most
Love is letting you cry on my shoulder when you hear the news that Papa died
Love is working on our future marriage together

Our first year of marriage
Love is holding your hand and praying on our wedding day
Love is seeing you at the other end of the aisle waiting for me
Love is being surrounded by people but only having eyes for you
Love is forgetting every guy who has ever hurt me, because only you matter now
Love is making room for discomfort
Love is becoming one
Love is cooking dinner together
Love is holding nothing back
Love is listening to me complain
Love is showing me off to your friends
Love is counting down the hours until we can go home from work and be together again

Our second year of marriage
Love is providing for me
Love is making my priorities your priorities
Love is letting me vent and express myself
Love is working overtime so we can take a vacation next year
Love is respecting me and listening to me, even if it doesn’t make sense to you
Love is encouraging me to pursue my dreams
Love is building the foundation for our future together
Love is working toward goals that we have established as a couple

In conclusion, it would be unwise to compare how Lenny shows me love now to how he showed it to me when we first started dating. Ultimately, his feelings for me haven’t changed, and our love is truly based on providing for one another’s needs and helping each other be more of who God wants us to be. We have both grown tremendously, and we’ve learned how to love in different ways.

How do you show love in this season? Is it different from how you were when you were dating or in another season of your relationship?

Photo by Elena Taranenko on Unsplash

Categories
Books

Hope for the Handmaid

The world is one step away from a dystopia or a utopia. It all depends on your perspective, and how you seek to change the world.

Thanks to T-Mobile, I have access to Kindle Unlimited free for three months. This makes the bookworm in me very happy. I decided to read The Handmaid’s Tale, since it was #1 on the recommended list. Although the book was written in 1985, it has probably resurfaced due to the new television series that came out earlier last year. It also reminds people my age of some certain others in power at this time. No comment from me about that, except what follows below.

If you want a trip, definitely read this book. I spent the first third of the book trying to figure out what in the world was going on. It was a good thing that Goodreads had a summary of the book, that served sort of as a CliffNotes version of what I was reading. Even after that, I finished the book confused.

Although this book defies every writing technique I’m reading in books about how to write fiction and grab your reader and all that, I believe Margaret Atwood attempts to demonstrate the thoughts of someone living in a dystopia: confused, out of place, nostalgic of the past, a little crazy, trying to stay sane. I really don’t like how it is written, so I hope the TV series paints a better picture of this novel. I feel like I’m on a leash and the writer is dragging me along, withholding information from me, seeing how long I hold on before I throw the book in the trash. Oh, wait, it’s my Kindle. I have to keep it, then.

Because I have an open mind, and because the book was free, I decided to try to figure out what Atwood is trying to say overall in her tale. I thought at first that she was saying that religion, particularly Christianity, causes dystopia, but she clearly states in an interview that humanity and power in the wrong hands is what causes it.

Christian, the rest of this article is for you.

This dystopian society is the result of the Bible taken out of context. People use the Bible to get power. I wish I could say that this is uncommon in our culture, but it is not. So many of us twist the Bible to be whatever we want it to be. If we are not careful, power can fall into the wrong hands. People in power want to make the world a better place, but only by their definition of “better.” And as the Commander says to Offred, “Better never means better for everyone…It always means worse, for some” (211).

The Handmaid’s Tale is correct in that we are just vessels. Although they use even this aspect of the Bible out of context, we should be more concerned with what’s inside of us than what is outside. My challenge to all of us is to study the word of God and to lean on HIM. Jesus changed the world through his ministry on Earth, to a point where we still talk about him thousands of years later. His power is still strong over the course of humanity, because His Spirit lives in each one of us. We should fill our hearts, our minds, as vessels, with the word of God. The true word of God. And pray.

Sure, the presidency is strong. Sure, people are strong. Sure, ideas are strong. But I believe that God is stronger. As we fill ourselves with the truth of God, the wisdom of God, the love of God, we will be one step away from a utopia, because we will represent the kingdom of God on Earth to our neighbors.

As I’m reading even more of the book, I’ve discovered that there is nothing more important than Biblical community. The characters in this book are brainwashed by the powers that be. The only way to combat being brainwashed is to memorize God’s word and accept it as truth, and be around godly friends and family that can hold you accountable if you start to develop wrong thinking.

No matter what happens in this world, there’s a world waiting for us after this life. We have no reason to fear, because God has prepared a place for us in Heaven. Until then, we have a mission from God to be a light in this dark world.

If the news, or books like the one I’m reading, scares you into believing that we are one step away from the world collapsing, have hope. God is stronger, and He will use YOU to change it for the better. Except HIS definition of “better” includes better for all.

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Categories
anxiety

The Teacher is Here and is Looking for You

Waiting does not come easy for me.  Thoughts rush to my head about what could happen rather than what is currently happening at the moment. I think about all the different scenarios and try to get a plan based on where I think things are going.

Waiting prolongs the process. Waiting interrupts my rhythm. Waiting is not fun.

Jesus had a different perspective on waiting. The story of Lazarus (John 11) serves as a great reminder when I am suffering with anxiety caused by waiting for my plans to produce fruit. In the waiting process, God is growing my faith and redeeming the brokenness of my heart.

Jesus grew the faith of Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus had died.  He waited four days after Lazarus had died to come visit them. I’ve heard the reason for this is that the Jews believed a soul hovered over the body for three days before going to Sheol. So at this point, Mary and Martha believed that their brother was gone.

When Jesus casually strolls up to see Martha, her response is blunt and honest: “If you were here, my brother would not have died.” Although it looks like she’s reprimanding Jesus for not being at her side when her brother was sick, she is actually exercising great faith in that she knew He could have healed her brother. She also was honest with how she felt. She wasted no time with pleasantries as she expressed her sadness and anger at Jesus’ obvious delay in helping her brother. Jesus has a conversation with her that grows her faith, and as you’ll see later in the story, He ends up fulfilling the desires of her heart.

But lately, God taught me something special about this story, the beautiful news that is for me and for you. Martha went to find her sister. I noticed that Mary, the one who had sat at Jesus’ feet, the one who had chose “what was better,” did not meet Jesus when He came to visit. She was at home. Does that mean she had chores to do, that since Jesus had disappointed her that she wasn’t eager to sit at His feet? Does that mean that she was speaking to those who had come to give their condolences? We’re not completely sure, and I may be reading a lot into it, but she demonstrates a different attitude from how we had seen her earlier in the gospel of John, sitting at His feet and soaking up His words.

Mary is about to hear the news that could melt her heart of stone.

When Martha looked for her, she said: “The Teacher is here and is looking for you.” Jesus, the one who had taught Mary how to trust in God, was looking for her. He wanted her to sit at His feet again. Only this time, He would be teaching her through example.

Even when we are obedient to God, diligent to sit at His feet and learn from Him, He still may have a waiting period in His plan for us. In the midst of our waiting, God is right there with us. The one who teaches us is waiting for us to trust Him. The one who loves us is looking for us as we wander around, waiting for our next step. He is waiting for us to sit at His feet again. He is waiting to grow our faith. He is waiting to do the impossible in our lives.

As we all know, Jesus does the impossible for Martha and Mary. He brings back Lazarus from the dead. Despite their lack of faith, and despite the fact that Lazarus had been dead for several days, Jesus is able to perform this wonderful miracle.

What are you waiting for? Let me encourage you that nothing is out of God’s ability. Jesus, the teacher, the one who wants you to grow from this experience, is here, and he is looking for you. Put yourself in a position where He can find you. Sit at his feet, and listen to his teaching. It is only a matter of time before He will do the impossible in your life.

Photo by Stephen Blenman on Unsplash